


Time Can't Heal All

by Ella (ellabellachicketychella)



Series: why do the stars shine so bright [16]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ethics, Galra Keith (Voltron), Homesick Allura (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lotor (Voltron) Being an Asshole, Lotor is Complicated, M/M, Major Character Injury, Pining Keith (Voltron), Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Violence, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 41,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28025637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellabellachicketychella/pseuds/Ella
Summary: People hurt others. A simple fact of life, like the sky being blue or that Keith's an idiot. But most of these times, the hurt heals.A broken heart does get fixed. A bruise will fade.Not all hurt gets fixed. No, some stays, for the rest of time.---Shaky hands,” Lotor grinned, “Wouldn’t you agree that shooting would be quite difficult while shaking.”Lance gulped, as he tried to move back as far as he could in the chair. Lotor smiled and he stood up straight, looking down at Lance. “How do humans handle electricity?”Oh.
Relationships: Allura & Coran & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro, Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: why do the stars shine so bright [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979423
Comments: 80
Kudos: 173





	1. pain

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, y'all. If this is your first part I'd recommend reading the others. I've been told that they're pretty good.
> 
> C.W / Trigger Warnings – Talks of death (kinda mild), torture (less mild), what I'd say is a graphic depiction of violence and lots of negative self-talk.
> 
> Later there are mentions of abuse and more depictions of violence.
> 
> Please be careful!

“This is bullshit,” Lance said, on the ground with what appeared to be a bruise forming on his cheek. “Your thing is hand-to-hand, Keith has… swords and whatever, Pidge has a taser, Hunk has a canon and Allura has a whip. I have sniping, that’s my thing.”

“Well,” Shiro replied, holding out his hand which Lance begrudging took and dragged him up. “What happens when you don’t have your gun?”

“I’m a  _ sniper  _ that’s my thing,” Lance argued. “Then I’ll throw a rock at them, or hide behind Keith.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow, “You’re on your own, in the desert with no weapons when someone tries to hurt you. What do you do?”   
  


“Unrealistic, I’m never alone,” Lance argued with some finger guns. “First of all, bold of you to assume that you or Pidge or Hunk or Allura or Coran would let me be anywhere by myself. Second, unrealistic, Keith would somehow find me because that bastard has a habit of finding me.”

Keith poked his head in the door. “You can’t call an orphan a bastard!” Then walked off, leaving Shiro smiling widely and Lance staring at him.

“Fuck off  _ Takashi. _ ” He spat and Shiro put his hands up in a surrender. “You know what! We’ll have a sniping contest, if I beat you I get to go and play a video game with Hunk and Pidge. If you win… I’ll spar you and Keith.”

“Why?” Shiro asked, a smug grin on his face and Lance prepared to slap him. “So Keith can homoerotically pin you down?”

“Fuck you!” Lance flipped him off.

“Not interested,” Shiro returned and the sound that Lance made was so loud that Shiro winced.

“No!” Lance yelled, flapping his arms. “I expect that from myself, maybe Pidge! But you — ugh,” he shuddered, “Unacceptable behaviour space-Dad!”

“Space-Dad?” Shiro repeated slowly, “What?”

“Like— your— the space-Dad,” Lance looked down at his feet. “Like— yeah— you’re… y’know.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow, “Do you see me as a father figure?”   
  


“No!” Lance yelled, “I see you as— as—”

Keith popped his head in again, “If you’re going to do the bit from Brooklyn Nine-Nine commit to it.”

“A what?” Lance said, looking at Keith. “What’s Brooklyn Nine-Nine.”

“Uncultured swine,” Keith muttered, an old TV show, like from...2018, then it changes rights and then then they made six more seasons and it was great and amazing. Okay, have fun Holt and Peralta.”

Shiro sighed as Keith walked off, before looking at Lance. “So…”

“We’re sniping,” Lance picked up his bayard and the targets popped out of the ground, making Lance grin and spin around to Shiro. Holding his sniper. “I am so good at this, like, you will envy me.”

“I envy nothing about you,” he said flatly and Lance held a hand to his chest as he staggered back dramatically like Shiro had shot him. “You’re short and boney.”

“I am ripped!”

“You’re not,” Pidge added, and she was in the doorway, where did she come from? “Shiro is ripped, no one else is ripped. Keith  _ could  _ be ripped, but he won’t confirm or deny if he has a six-pack.”

“I have abs?” Lance shrugged.

“Same,” Pidge sighed. “Have you seen Allura’s abs? Holy shit!”

“It hasn’t come up,” Lance crossed his arms.

“Her abs could turn me… not aromantic? That works, her abs could turn Keith straight and could turn you completely and utterly straight, no bisexualness in sight.” Pidge was eating some snack that she got from… somewhere. How she always had snacks was beyond him. “Well, depends on how good Keith’s abs are, let me go find him.”

Pidge walked out.

Lance stared. “What is happening?” He said slowly, “Am I having a stroke?”

“Maybe,” Shiro said, before walking over to the stack of weapons on the weapon rack, choosing out an assault rifle. At Lance’s look of disbelief he put that gun down and inspected the rack. He picked out another gun and Lance facepalmed

“Pistol.”

He picked up another one, looking at Lance for his reaction.

“Equivalent of an AK-47.” Shiro put that one down.

“Um,” Shiro looked down at the rack of weapons. “This one?” He picked up one which did look more like Lance’s bayard, but that was a laser gun, and technically so was Lance’s, but his would chop and change. That gun would destroy the targets.

“Nope. It’d ruin the targets,” he said easily, “Laser gun.”

“You have a laser gun!” Shiro yelled, picking up another gun. 

“Mine changes, also, that’s a rifle.” Lance said and Shiro threw the gun on the ground, Lance walked over to the rack and picked up one of the only guns with a scope. “It has a scope, that’s how you tell if it’s a sniper gun… it’s easier to aim and there’s a reason for that.”

Shiro nodded, even if Lance knew he was going to forget it all anyway.

“You’re pretty good at this.”

“It’s the only thing I’m good at,” Lance waved a hand, “I want to be good at it.”

“Huh?” Shiro said and Lance spun around to look at Shiro.

“What?”

“You’re good at heaps of stuff,” Shiro had an eyebrow raised and Lance shrugged, “No, you are. You learn the quickest out of all of us, you know Galran, everyone else tried and even Keith who in theory should be able to pronounce everything couldn’t.”

Lance didn’t say anything and instead held his sniper up. Closing one eye and looking at the target, his view darting from outside the scope to inside the scope. He could feel Shiro watching him as his finger hovered over the trigger.

With a quiet thunk, there was a blue spot in the middle of the target, Lance threw his hands out either side, wiggling his fingers. “Sniping!”

Shiro went next, and Lance watched him. His arms were shaky, he wasn’t completely shaky, in fact Shiro was fairly steady, but not steady enough to hold a sniper without one of the stands that Lance had never gotten a chance to use.

There was a quiet thunk and a blue spot on the wall. 

Shiro swore.

“I wasn’t aiming there.”

“You’re shaky,” Lance crossed his arms, “I am very not shaky, which is why I learnt how to use a gun. I don’t shake as much as the average human, hold your arms out in front of you.”

Shiro did so, and his hands and arms shook a little bit, not a lot, but enough that it would send a shot flying off if it happened at the wrong time. Lance held out his arms, and watched to see as he didn’t shake at all.

“Everyone’s hands shake a slight bit. I do but you can’t notice it, when I’m stressed or had too much coffee it can get like yours.”

“So…” Shiro tilted his head to the side, “You’re a good sniper because you have weird genetics.”

“And I worked very hard at it,” Lance held his gun up with one hand and fired, hitting the target again. “Annoyingly hard at it. Professor Wright used to help me, I was terrified of guns and he taught me how to shoot.”

Shiro was quiet for a long moment. “He taught you… what?”

“How to shoot. Like how Professor Wright taught Keith how to use swords—”

“He did what?” Shiro eyes were incredibly wide, he took a deep breath. “How do you know this?”

Lance shrugged, “Shared history between Keithers and I.”

“Keithers?”

“It annoys him, he calls me Sharpshooter, but that’s just a nice thing to say. Because I am the sharpshooter, the rest of you can’t shoot for shit.”

* * *

Lance was the sharpshooter, that was his thing. He could shoot quickly and accurately, from far distances or up close if he needed to. That was his thing. Keith had his swords, Shiro was just generally cool, Pidge and Hunk were geniuses, Coran could speak almost any language and Allura was a badass.

They all had their things.

His was shooting. Specifically sniping.

And he was really good at it, even he knew that. It was impossible to not know when aliens were impressed with shooting and how accurate he could be. A mess of genetics, hyperfocusing, talent and hard work had gotten him here.

This was his thing. His domain and nothing was going to be able to take that away from him.

* * *

Lance was splayed out on the floor, a facemask on his face. As he painted Allura’s nails, who seemed pretty content with that and so sat there quietly. If Lance hadn’t had goo on his face, which didn’t taste very good, his tongue would probably be stuck out in concentration. 

“Who taught you this?” Allura asked.

“My sisters,” Lance did another careful stroke, painting Allura’s pinky nail the same colour as her Altean markings. “Rachel and Veronica, I was the youngest child so I was the guinea pig child. I’d play baseball and soccer with Marco and Luis and then gymnastics and get pampered with Rachel and Veronica.”

Allura hummed approvingly.

“Then when I went to The Garrison and I didn’t do any of those things. Apart from facemasks, because they were easy to do.” Allura nodded and Lance sighed, finishing by painting the nail on her thumb. “There. Don’t smudge them.”

“No promises,” Allura said, blowing on her nails and Lance sat up against the wall. Folding a piece of paper into a fan and fanning Allura’s nails with it. She rolled her eyes but smiled as he did it. “You exhaust me.”

“Love you too ‘Lura,” Lance grinned at her, still fanning the fan and Allura sighed. “So, what’s up with you?”

“Not a lot, just missing my siblings.”

“You had siblings?” Lance asked, sitting up taller. “Really?”

“Yeah…” Allura smiled, “I did. My older brother taught me some Altean alchemy. He was a proper alchemist. I wasn’t even in line for the throne… my older brothers were.”

“What were they like?” Lance asked.

“Like Shiro and Keith,” Allura smiled, even though her eyes were filled with tears. “My oldest brother, Agedar, he was the natural leader out of all of us… but still, one of us. He was great. Even if he would teach me foul language.”

Lance huffed at that and Allura smiled again. “Then there was Aldmor… who was Keith’s spitting image. He taught me how to fight, and everything I know about fighting. I was the closest in age to him, so he and I used to spar all the time.” She laughed, “When I eventually knocked him down, that’s one of my happiest memories. He was fierce, and hotheaded and scarily like Keith.”

“Really?” Lance asked, clambering onto Allura’s bed. “That’s kinda freaky.”

“Then there was Aanwas… who had a knack for cooking and was the kindest out of all of us. He was the second youngest, and he was amazing at sparring. Almost better than Aldmor, but he hated it.”

Lance just smiled.

“Then Abril… the only other girl. It’s quite scary the similarities that there are between everyone. She loved technology but was really, really good at sparring. Unlike our Pidge, she was at my level.”

Lance paused, “It sounds like you could’ve all piloted the lions.”

“Hmm?”

“Like… if everyone has similarities… it sounds like you all could’ve been Voltron.”

Allura’s eyes went wide, and she sat up. “What the quiznack?” She muttered, “I— that makes so much sense.”

Lance crossed his arms and nodded, Allura sighed, before throwing herself back on the bed. “He always had an ulterior motive… my father. Always. You’d think he was spending time with him, then he’d try and teach you alchemy.”

With a hum, Lance nodded.

“It… was tiring, Alfor was a great man, but he wasn’t always a great father. Being a good person doesn’t make you a good parent, I figured that out not too long ago.”

Lance nodded, “Papa, he was great. Everything you wanted in a father y’know, he seemed like he liked us, or enjoyed our company and asked us all to pursue our interests and be smart, and taught us all the basic skills… but… I dunno, I felt like the redo child? All of his dreams were pushed onto me.” He tapped his foot on the ground as Allura looked at him, nodding along. “And then we went broke.”

“Broke?” Allura repeated, “What does that mean?”

“Poor. Our family ran out of money… my Aunt made some bad choices and we bailed her out, but it was tough for a bit.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t want to be a pilot,” Lance blurted out before he could stop himself. “I never wanted to be a pilot. I wanted to be a teacher, or work for a charity, or do something to make a difference for someone else… I didn’t want to be a pilot. But the pay, even just at The Garrison was so good. Especially fighter class, and the payout if I died was huge.”

Allura looked at him curiously.

“I — I reckon they think we’re dead. The payout is huge. For Hunk, Pidge and I… the Holt families was huge. It was on the news for a bit because two people died on a huge mission. And—” Lance took a deep breath. “I was going to short-circuit the wires inside one of the shuttles. Because the payout was huge… I didn’t, I wasn’t ever going to. But I paused for too long.”

Allura hugged Lance, around stomach and waist and Lance leant into her. Feeling her hair tickling his nose. “You are the single biggest idiot that I’ve ever met,” Allura murmured. “The biggest. Your life is worth more than money.”

“I know that,” Lance nodded, “I know that.”

With a soft sigh, Allura let Lance go. But held him at arms-length and smiled at him. “You are worth a lot.”

“So are you, you’re worth more than what other people wanted you to be.”

Allura laughed, it was short, but she leant against Lance. Resting her head on Lance’s shoulder. “It’s funny right, everyone else in Voltron reminds me of one of my siblings, and it’s all pretty accurate. But for the life of me, there isn’t anyone like you in my family.”

“You,” Lance laughed. “I’m like you, we both flew Blue, and we both look really hot in blue.”

With a snort Allura swatted at him, “It’s true,” Lance said ducking another swat. “Like you in the suit, hot damn, and me in my old paladin armour. Holy shit, I was hot in that thing. Like, damn. I understand everything now.”

Allura swatted at him and hit him in the side of the forehead, Lance yelped and held the side of his head as Allura grinned at him widely.

“We looked hot! We look hot in blue!” He ducked away from a lazy punch and darted off the bed. “Don’t be mad because I look so stunning in blue that people forget their names. I’ll fucking prove it.”

“Oh? Yeah?” Allura crossed her arms. Before opening a wardrobe and panning through the rainbow of colours that her wardrobe was, a blue fabric thing was launched at Lance’s head. “There. It’s the shirt I wore. Let’s see if anyone notices.”

“Someone will say I look good,” Lance argued, taking off his shirt as Allura panned through her wardrobe trying to find something else to wear. “Blue is my colour, I look good in red and black, but blue is my colour.”

“I’m guessing you look terrible in yellow and green,” Allura quipped, dragging a blue jacket looking thing out of her wardrobe and slipping it on over her dress.

“How. Dare. You.” Lance held a hand to his chest, “I look great in everything.”

“You’re wearing what you call sweatpants and an ugly robe. You do not.”

“I do so, no need to be bitter about my undeniable sexiness.”

“Also,” Allura said, spinning around and pointing a finger at Lance. “Keith doesn’t count.”

“What?”   
  


“He drops a plate every time you’re wearing something you don’t normally wear.”

“That’s bullshit,” Lance muttered. Crossing his arms. “He drops a plate every time someone does anything.”

“Fine,” Allura glared. “Unless he says something it doesn’t count, I don’t care if he launches at you and kisses you until your brain falls out, says nothing, doesn’t count.”   
  


“Keith will not launch himself at me and kiss me.” Lance glared, “I’ve been through this with you. Everyone’s reading the signs wrong, two guys who also like guys are allowed to be friends.”

Allura raised her eyebrows, “Lance.” Her voice was firm. “Most friends don’t… what does Pidge say. Eye-fuck?”

Lance yelped and buried his head under Allura’s pillow and Lance could feel her grinning. “That is it then,” she grinned, and you could hear it in her voice and Lance wanted to kill her at this moment. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“I’ve never— I wouldn’t. Ew!” Lance yelled into the pillow and Allura scoffed.

“C’mon, we’re trying to get someone to tell you that you look, it’s more difficult than you think.”

Lance gasped, but let himself be lead down the hallway. Into the dining room, before sneakily undoing his top button and tucking the shirt into his pants. It wasn’t his best look, but it was a whole ass look.

He walked out, and Shiro was looking at him, an eyebrow raised in mostly confusion.

There was a thump and muffled swearing, and Lance knew that was Keith. Lance turned around and Keith was standing in front of the wall rather than the archway a metre or so to his left. 

“You right there Keith?”   
  


“Fine,” Keith all but squeaked before turning around and looking straight past Lance and at Shiro. “Yeah, good. Just,” he waved his hands, “The wall… y’know, in the way. They really should’ve made this archway a couple of feet to the left.”

“Right,” Shiro said flatly. “You don’t normally have problems with direction and not being clumsy. Why’s that Keith?” He tilted his head to the side in fake innocence and Keith flipped him off.

“Is everyone okay?” Pidge ran in, “I heard a thump,” she looked at Lance. “You look alright in that shirt… isn’t it Allura’s?”

“Yeah,” Allura sighed, “It’s mine. The formal one we wore? Keith got like… knives embroidered into his.”

“Stars,” Keith muttered, huffing and a piece of hair moved from his face. “They were stars. I’m not that emo.”

Coran spat out whatever he had been drinking and raised his eyebrows at Keith. “Number three—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Lance looked at Coran, holding a hand to his chest. “I’m taller than Keith. Keith is a tiny rage-filled goblin.”

“Um?” Pidge said, “This is me erasure.” Hunk pat her on the back sympathetically and Pidge pressed her mouth into a thin line, glaring at Lance. But he didn’t care, because Keith was taller than him.

“Keith, you’re short.”

“According to Coran I’m taller than you,” Keith looked at his nails, before looking up at Lance. “Scared you’ve lost one-third of your identity, tall-Cuban-boy.”

“Excuse me, you short-emo-gay-bitch-ass-Texan,” Keith raised his eyes at Lance’s insult but Lance wasn’t done. “Unlike you, I don’t listen to ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’, or… who knows, probably My Chemical Romance.”

“They were pioneers—” Keith glared, “At least I don’t sing ‘Despacito’ unironically.”

“Despactio hits harder than a chancla,” Lance snapped. “Don’t be mad because I have music taste, and don’t be mad because I’m taller than you.”

“You’re not!” Keith yelled back, “Don’t think your dumb face is distracting me from the dumb words that you’re saying. I’ve grown.”

“Is that all that’s grown—” Pidge interjected and Allura slapped a hand over her face as Pidge struggled against her.

Lance scoffed, “Fine. Who’s taller.”

“For someone who ended our rivalry, you’re acting a lot like a rival.”

Everyone gasped dramatically, something straight out of a Spanish soap-opera. Shiro looked shooketh, and Hunk looked like he was about to faint. Pidge was grinning like a maniac, thank you Pidge. As was Coran.

Allura just looked bored. Which was honestly a mood.

“You ended the rivalry,” Pidge slammed her hands down on the table. “Next you’ll be proclaiming that he’s your best friend.”

“Which is a lie!” Hunk added, “I’m your best friend.”

“And I’m Keith’s!” Pidge yelled, “Self-appointed sure, but some tyranny never hurt anyone—”

“It… did?” Shiro questioned. “Like… it… nevermind, go off Pidge!” He looked down at his coffee and started drinking it again.

“Um… okay,” Keith said, before looking at Lance. “I’m still taller than you.”

“Back-to-back, right now. Take those fucking boots off.”

“Take those sneakers off!” Keith yelled right back, pulling off his boots and throwing one at the back of Lance’s head, and Lance whirled around before throwing one at Keith who turned around and glared at him.

“Oh dear lord,” Hunk muttered, “It feels like we travelled back in time like… how many months?”   
  


“Maybe we have,” Pidge hummed thoughtfully. “Hey, Keith, who killed Kennedy?”

“The CIA,” Keith didn’t break his eye-contact.

“It took months to convince him of that, we are in the right time.”

“Different timeline?” Shiro mused from his spot at the table. “One where Lance and Keith are… like this again.”

“Oh,” Pidge nodded excitedly, drawing another tablet out of nowhere, and Lance had no idea where she kept them, but she always had one on hand. Maybe Hunk carried them around? That would make a decent amount of sense, but Hunk looked just as confused.

Keith’s arms were crossed. “Turn around.”

“That’s not how I like anything to start,” Lance muttered and another shoe got thrown at him. He stood back to back with Keith, standing himself up as tall as he could, which wasn’t much taller than he already was.

Pidge walked over, scribbling on her tablet. “Interesting, interesting. Keith. You were 5’9, now you’re 5’10. You’ve grown an inch in three weeks.”

“Huh?” Lance spun around and prodded Keith in the chest. “Stop growing. I am supposed to be taller than you. It’s like a rule, imagine if Pidge was taller than you!” Lance gestured at Pidge. “It’s weird, be shorter.”

Keith rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “Wait… You’re like two inches taller than me.” He turned around to Coran, “How did you get that mixed up?”

Coran winked, “Causing a little trouble never hurt anyone.”

Lance took a deep breath, before looking at Keith. “I resent you.”

“Do you?” Pidge raised her eyebrows and Lance shot a glare at her, “Sorry, sorry,” she muttered.

“Sure ya do,” Keith said, slipping into his accent. “And I hate’cha too.”

A moment of silence.

“I did it again!” Keith yelled, whirling around and walking down the hallway. “I fucking did it again!” Which echoed, as everyone looked at each other. Unsure of what to do. “I haven’t lived in Texas since I was like… eight!” Slightly further away this time.

“Um,” Pidge said. “Rightio.”   
  


“I hate you!” Keith yelled, walking backwards to point at Lance. “I hate you more than I hate… oranges.”

That was rude. Lance flipped Keith off, and Keith flipped him off back.

* * *

“Keith!” Lance cried out, throwing himself at Keith as the two of them tumbled over each other. He sat on top of Keith, looking at him for a moment, as the battle and scuffle roared on around them. A lion roared, which was potentially Yellow or Green.

“You good?” Lance asked. As something whizzed past his head, Lance spun around and fired a laser towards a sentry which clattered to the ground and he turned back around and looked at Keith who nodded slowly. He clambered off of Keith and dragged him back onto his feet. Throwing up his shield and dragging Keith behind it.

Keith took a deep breath. Throwing up his shield and sighed, groaning and leaning against his shield. He looked over his shoulder and sighed, his bayard lighting up as Lance fired some shots at the sentries.

Metal hit the ground with crunches, before Yellow swooped in, landing on top of the sentries, and swiping at more. Lance gave himself this moment to actually look around, noting everything that there was to note. Pidge was to his left, Allura was up ahead, kicking ass.

Hunk was behind them wrecking sentries with Yellow. Lance looked around. Where were the rest of the sentries? It didn’t make sense, they came in waves. They’d try to overwhelm the enemies and not let them have a break and tire them out that way.

Lance’s grip tightened on his bayard, “Something’s going to happen,” Lance yelled.

“What?” Allura yelled back.

“The waves of sentries aren’t right,” Lance squinted into the distance, “It’s… wrong. Something’s going to happen.”

Something flew overhead and Lance ducked, throwing his shield up above his head as he stared up. 

Lotor’s ship.

“Fuck! Lotor’s ship!” Lance yelled, “We need to go,  _ now. _ ”

“Lotor?” Keith repeated, “Why do you know what his ship looks like?”

“Oh fuck,” Lance muttered, so he’d forgotten to tell everyone about that time he got capture by Lotor. “Remember when you were trying to lead, and I got captured?”

“Yes.” He said pointedly.

“Yeah… Lotor.”

“And you… forgot?” Keith said slowly, enunciating every word before sighing and face-palming. “This is why we don’t have nice things,” he muttered. “Okay team… we’re gonna duck out real quick.”

“What?” Allura all but yelled and judging by the look on Keith’s face, this wasn’t going to end well. “We can not retreat. It shows we are afraid.”

“No,” Lance shot his best finger-guns, “It shows that we’re not idiots.”

“Well we are,” Pidge added and Keith groaned.

“Listen to Lance,” Keith argued, his eyes were placed firmly on Lotor’s ship. “He’s normally right. Even if this isn’t Lotor’s ship, it’s someone’s ship and it isn’t a standard ship.”

“I’m so getting captured,” Lance muttered to himself, lucky that Keith didn’t hear him.

“I’m playing the leader card,” Keith walked backwards, his shield up. “We can’t stay here.”

“Lotor isn’t that dangerous,” Lance stood his ground, “I mean… you’re just as dangerous and I’m not scared of you.”

“Then you haven’t seen him angry,” Allura shuddered, “Whenever you’re in danger… I hope Lotor’s less dangerous. That would be convenient.” 

Keith hummed, before taking a deep breath. “Team vote, who wants to stay?” Pidge, Allura and Hunk all made sounds of agreement and Keith sighed, “Fine. But if anyone gets kidnapped I’m going to be mad until the day I die.”

“Aye, aye!” Pidge gave a salute. “No one will get captured cap’n!”

* * *

Lance sat in the cell, leaning his head against the back of the chair. They jinxed it. Those fuckers jinxed it. He groaned loudly, hitting his head against the back of the chair with enough force that it made a concerning noise.

There went his last brain cells.

What no one had counted on was Lotor essentially having a huge tractor beam, and dragging Lance up into his ship. There was only so long you could grab onto Keith before needing to let go so before both of them weren’t dragged up into Lotor’s ship.

He was going to murder Allura. He’d been right, and he was the one who got the repercussions. It was bullshit. Lance sighed, slamming his head against the back of the chair again and wincing afterwards. Bringing his fingers around to see if he was bleeding.

They were not. 

“It’s always me,” Lance muttered out loud into the cell. “Every time. Why does it always have to be me?”

Once upon a time, Lance was terrified whenever he got captured. Now it seemed to be a weekly occurrence, he ran his fingers down the scar on his face. It wasn’t that bad, but considering both Keith and Shiro would stare at it, he was a little self-conscious about it. 

Surely it didn’t ruin his face completely?

When was Lotor going to rock up and try to scare him? Because if they could get that over. That would've been great because he was planning on insulting Keith once more and trying to get Pidge to admit that she didn’t think the moon landing was fake, and Hunk still owed him those garlic knots.

With a screeching noise, Lotor stepped in, with the same white hair and lilac skin. This time his face was blank, apart from a smile, his eyes didn’t show that smile either, a malicious smile that made Lance pause. Before looking in front of him.

Slowly Lotor circled him, and Lance forced himself to look straight ahead. Even if his eyes would follow Lotor as far as they could before snapping forwards again. A nail scraped the back of the chair, making a horrendous noise and Lance shuddered.

Lotor made a small noise of what Lance would call amusement, but it was hard to tell what it was.

“I’ve thought a long time about what to do with you.”

That wasn’t a great start.

“I came into a small problem,” Lotor said into his ear and Lance flinched away despite his best efforts not to. “Which are your lions. You’ve piloted two lions, two lions known for being protective, so anything I do needs to be quick enough that a lion doesn’t get here first. Or it needs to not hurt you so badly that your lions get here.”

Lance gulped, as Lotor ran a fingernail on the back of the chair which made a loud screeching noise and he shuddered again. 

“I could’ve cut out your tongue because you like to talk or even your voice box. But that’s very painful and your lions would come to drag you out of here,” Lotor stood in front of Lance and crouched down so they were looking eye-to-eye. “But you’re the sniper on the team, I just saw that.”

He smiled again, and Lotor’s smiles were ugly and twisted in a way that made Lance feel sick to his stomach. Lotor moved forwards and Lance moved back as far as he could.

“Shaky hands,” Lotor grinned, “Wouldn’t you agree that shooting would be quite difficult while shaking.”

Oh.

Right. So they were doing this.

Lance gulped again, as he tried to move back as far as he could in the chair. Lotor smiled and he stood up straight again, looking down at Lance. “How do humans handle electricity?”

Oh. 

Fuck.

* * *

They were all in The Castle. Pidge was pacing, Allura was pacing a little bit faster, Hunk was hunched over on a seat, looking down at his shoes. Shiro had his arms crossed and was tapping his foot.

Keith was at the holo-table, trying to figure out what to do. “We need to do something,” Allura said, pacing up and down before spinning around and glaring at Keith. “Anything.”

“We can’t go in,” Keith argued, running another projection. “Not without knowing anything about what we’re going into. It can hurt everyone more.” He scrolled and looked at the projection.

Before groaning and closing the projection and looking at Pidge. "Find a layout of Lotor's ship." He said and Pidge scrambled for her laptop.

"Hunk. Work on these projections, you're an engineer." He got out of the chair and Hunk took his spot.

He looked at Allura and Shiro. "You two know the most about Galra technology. Come up with a plan. I'm contacting Lulio—"

Pain shot through him, sharp and intense. He let out a cry and landed on his knees, clutching his head as tightly as he could as the pain danced through him in coils that made his body shake all over.

"Red!" He gasped out. "Get to Red, right now!" 

"What?" Allura asked.

"Now!" He barked, stumbling onto his feet. "Quick, before she leaves!" He grabbed onto Shiro trying to get rid of the swirling and pounding in his brain.

Before bolting off towards Red's hangar, grabbing Hunk as he ran. Who made a small noise of mostly surprise and confusion.

His feet pounded against the ground, with a deafening echo through the empty hallway as Hunk ran next to him

With a sharp turn, he looked at Red. Who almost on instinct opened her mouth and Keith threw the two of them in there.

Another burst of pain that made Keith fall over, shot through him. Twisting and burning inside of him, everything felt like it was on fire and screaming. He gripped onto Red's seat as he felt her jolt forwards, Hunk may have screamed.

All he could focus off was the writhing at the end of his nerves. Burning and twisting inside him.

_ Electricity.  _ His mind seemed to whisper to him.  _ This is what electricity does. You know that. _

Keith held his head tighter, not caring where Red was taking them. He trusted Red. He trusted Lance.

"What's happening to him?" Pidge yelled from maybe over the comm.

He held his head tighter as everything hurt, gritting his teeth together and holding his head so tightly his arms shook. 

"Connection." He barked out. "Through Red." Wincing again as more pain coursed through him. "Fuck."

"Shiro." Hunk's voice was low, and trembling slightly. "What do we do?"

"Get everyone going after Red." Keith gritted out, between another wave of pain as he used the controls to drag himself upright. "Red's going to Lotor and Lance."

"Keith. You need to retreat." Allura said through the comms. "You can't make a decision and you're in no state to fight—"

"This is happening to Lance!" Keith's hands curled so his knuckles turned white. "It's so hard to make the pain go through a lion bond. It hasn't happened with Shiro and I, or Lance and Allura. This means he's in worse pain— ah!" He hit the ground again, having his fall slightly broken by Hunk. "Whatever I'm going through its ten times worse for Lance."

Everyone stayed silent. As Keith made a pained noise as lava bubbled and boiled in his veins, making everything in so much pain.

The most pain he'd felt since he was so, so young. Since he got beaten and was left on the floor to bleed.

Since he was thrown around by a gang when he was little and still had the scar on his back from landing against a dumpster and cutting his back open.

It hurt.

Keith pushed his hands against his head, trying to make it stop. Everything was on fire, everything was boiling inside of him. Tears were streaming down his face, it wasn’t a good look.

Everything was hurting until— nothing. There was nothing. Keith slowly stood up, removing his hands from his head and looking at Hunk whose eyes were wide open and he looked incredibly pale. He stared at Hunk and Hunk stared back at him

“It stopped…” Keith slowly said, “It—” he went quiet, as Hunk rushed towards the controls and opened the comms again, Shiro’s face popping up on the screen inside of Green.

“It stopped,” Keith said, pushing past Hunk and Shiro’s eyes went wide and his face fell into a panic. “It stopped.” He said softly.

Keith didn’t want to know why it stopped. He had a few guesses, and he didn’t want any of those things to be the real reason that it had all stopped. Gripping onto Red’s controls he sat in the pilot seat.

There was a low purr, softly, and Keith knew that was Red. He sighed softly, closing his eyes. His knuckles turned white and he looked up.

Purple stars. There were purple stars or shining lights that were laid out in front of him in space. Tightening his grip on his controls he took a deep breath, he could pilot Red, he could still pilot Red. Despite everything.

“Keith?” Hunk said with uncertainty. “What are you doing?”

“Pidge, Allura. Follow after me,” Keith’s voice was stronger than he felt. Between being in so much pain he couldn’t think, to the weird purple lights thing. Infact, they looked like the purple outlines from that Balmera.

What was happening to him?   
  


_ Lance is in trouble,  _ his mind supplied him,  _ we don’t have the time to stress about what may or may not be concerning. _

He threw the controls forwards and was thrown backwards as he chased after the purple lights, dancing forwards in a way that he only felt with Red like he really was on top of the world. 

“Where are you going!” Hunk yelled, “You’re going off track!”

He wasn’t.

If he was Red wouldn’t let him.

Keith threw the controls forward more and rushed forwards, chasing after an ever-moving purple light. “What are you chasing after?” Hunk yelled, “There’s nothing there.”

“Lion connection thing,” Keith said through gritted teeth as Red dove down, not of his own accord but he wasn’t going to fight her on this. “Do you trust me?” 

“Yes.” Hunk replied immediately without any hesitation.

“Then trust me with this,” Keith did a barrel roll, mostly for fun rather than anything else. “Nothing’s going to happen to Lance,” although that sounded feeble and scared, even for him. “Nothing can happen to Lance.”

“Lotor’s a bastard,” Hunk spat, as a blueprint of Lotor’s ship came up, and Keith closed it, knowing that it had been sent to their gauntlets. Hunk opened it and started tapping as Keith put all his focus into this.

He was loosely following the purple light, but his mind was whispering to him,  _ Lance, Lance, Lance. _

Keith wasn’t going to admit it to anyone, not even if there was a sword up against his throat, or even if he needed it to survive some fucked up space situation. He wasn’t going to tell anyone this.

But he was terrified.

He wasn’t shaking like Hunk, or his eyes weren’t cloudy like Allura’s, and he hadn’t paled like Pidge, looking like she was about to vomit. He’d learnt to hide his fear as Shiro had, he needed to keep a level head. He was the leader, everyone else wasn’t being logical at the moment, and logic was going to get Lance—

_ Fuck it.  _ He thought it wasn’t a loud thought either, more like a whisper.  _ Logic isn’t why we’re doing this.  _

The arguments that came to mind were ignored straight away. Lance was more than a paladin—

He was the nerd who would speak in Spanish when he got too excited.

Or was one of the only people who would reach out before Keith could pull away and retreat because of the fear that came with connection.

Laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe on the couch and needing Hunk to hold him up.

Missing home and telling stories with the look in his eyes that only Lance could manage.

Hunk’s best friend, Pidge’s brother, the other little brother that Shiro hadn’t wanted, one of the only people who Allura confided in, Coran’s surrogate nephew. Keith’s—

Hunk was still shaking, and Keith paused for a moment to glance at him. “He’ll be okay,” Keith’s voice had more hope in it than he held himself. “Knowing him he’s just like— kicked Lotor’s sorry ass.”

He managed a laugh and Keith responded with his own small smile at Hunk. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Hunk managed, “It’s Lance. Nothing happens to him… well it does, but he’s always okay in the end…” a paused. “Right?”

“Yup,” Keith somehow managed to say through the pain in his chest and how heavy every sorry limb in his body felt. “He’s like a cockroach, you can’t kill him.”

Hunk snorted.

“That’s my Lance for you—” he started, before realising what he’d just said and pausing mid-sentence. “Not like my Lance, because Lance doesn’t belong to anyone and is his own person and that’s kinda a weird thing to say because Lance isn’t synonymous with mine and the more that I think about it that was a weird thing to say.”

Hunk was holding onto the seat, laughing so hard that he was crying. Before slowly looking up at Keith and doubling over again, laughing again tears streaming down his face. “Never—” he doubled over again, “Have I ever—” he actually sat down on the floor. “You’re so awkward!” He held onto the seat as he laughed even louder, throwing his head back. “Why does anyone think you’re cool?”

Keith shrugged, his eyes darting back to the purple light that he was following. “You can achieve anything with a grumpy attitude, a jacket that doesn’t fit and a tragic past.” He muttered and Hunk snorted.

“Lance is always talking about how ugly your jacket is, aw man— he is never going to believe me.”

Instead of saying anything, Keith sobered up immediately when Lotor’s ship came into view. He ducked low, letting Red circle around the bottom of the ship as Hunk and he waited for the others, and hopefully was able to decide.

Hunk looked as terrified as Keith felt, he was tapping on the console of Red. He wanted to go in, burst down the door, and he should’ve, he would’ve for anyone else, but Lance— Keith could only describe it like this:

With the others Keith knew his abilities, he knew what he could feasibly do and then he’d just do it. With Lance, all of Keith’s knowledge of his abilities went out the window, he couldn’t think straight when Lance was in trouble, he didn’t know if he could get Lance out of there.

If it was Hunk he just would. There was no debate about it.

But it was Lance, and Keith didn’t know if he could even wield a sword.

These emotions were really getting in the way of Keith’s general existence. If that could stop really quickly and if he could go find some emotionless bitches as his Voltron partners, that would’ve been great.

But no! The universe apparently decided that Keith needed to have emotions.

Keith took a deep breath, because as calm as he looked externally, internally he was screaming. He needed to keep some pretence of composure for Hunk and Pidge and Allura. Him freaking out would freak them out because he never freaked out.

“You’re scared,” Hunk said and Keith fell out of his chair.

“Huh?”

“For Lance,” Hunk added and Keith raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not scared,” Keith lied, “He’ll be fine.”

“You’re allowed to be scared,” Hunk pulled him off the ground and Keith staggered back to the pilot’s seat. “You don’t need to keep it together because you’re the leader.”

“That’s my job,” Keith took another deep breath as Red kept circling underneath Lotor’s ship. “I keep cool while everyone else freaks out.”

“Lance can tell when you’re scared,” Hunk added thoughtfully, “He doesn’t tell us how, he just mentions it and then doesn’t do anything about it. He’ll just sit or stand next to you.”

“Yup,” Keith sighed, “I knew he knew.”

“He’s observant,” Hunk shrugged, “Since The Garrison, he knew every way to sneak out without having snuck out himself. He just listened and watched and he knew things… he’s always been the best with you.”

“Huh?”

“Uh—” Hunk said, very intelligently, looking everywhere but at Keith. “Well— uh he’s kinda the only one who knows how you’re feeling at a given time? Shiro’s okay at it. The rest of us are kinda hopeless.”

“I’m not that hard to read,” Keith argued, but even he knew he was lying and the silence was telling enough of how Hunk felt about that. He opened his mouth when Pidge’s face popped up on the screen.

“We need a plan,” Pidge said, and Shiro was in the back, nodding. Allura’s face popped up a second later.

“Indeed,” she hummed. “Circle the bottom of his ship while we figure it out.” A few moments later Blue and Green were circling the bottom of Lotor’s ship, trying to think of what to do.

“What would Lance do?” Keith muttered, mostly to himself. Opening the blueprint to Lotor’s ship and looking at it. 

If someone with half a brain had captured Lance they would’ve kept him in the centre room. At the same time it was just as likely he was in the cells. He tapped on the control panel, not doing anything. “Oh God,” he muttered, mostly to himself.

He hummed, spinning around in his seat, the semblance of some sort of plan developing in his head. It wasn’t a great plan as such, and Keith didn’t know if it was a plan or a terrible idea.

There was another shoot of pain and Keith winced, getting ready for much worse. Hunk must’ve seen the look on his face because his eyes went wide. 

“It’s happening again,” Hunk’s words were stuttered and tumbling over each other. “We need a plan.”

“Okay,” Keith said weakly, through another burning hot burst of pain. “Uh— we’ll find Lance and the others find Lotor and—” he was cut off by the feel of burning in his hands like they were on fire. “Fuck— uh— do whatever.”

He looked up to meet everyone’s concerned faces. “Please tell me someone has an actual plan?”

No one replied and Keith winced, even more, looking down at his hands to make sure they were working. They were. Keith screwed his eyes shut. “Get a distraction, put half of the— ah fuck— the team there and see if Lotor rocks up— the other half finds Lance while the halls are cleared—” surely his hands had to be on fire? There was no other explanation. He looked down and nothing was there. “Uh— fuck— that hurts, um— yeah.”

“Okay,” Allura’s voice was kind as Keith looked down at his hands. They were the only thing that was hurting, nothing else hurt even a little bit. Apart from his hands, which were shaking like crazy.

Something snapped in his brain.

“Fuck!” Keith said loudly, “We need to go now!”

“What?” Allura asked, “We need a plan.”

“We need to go!” Keith yelled back, through the pain and the twisting and burning in his hands. “Before something permanent happens.”

“What are you talking about?” Pidge’s voice had a slight tremble in it. “Tell us.”

Keith didn’t tell them anything, maybe because he didn’t want it to be true. He didn’t want to be right. He brought up the blueprint. The airlock was funnily enough underneath the ship, all he needed to do was eject himself and find it.

He looked at Hunk. “Are you coming?” He asked and Hunk nodded, determined as Red’s jaw opened and Keith threw himself out.

Hunk floating beside him as Keith tumbled over and over the blackness of space being the only thing that wasn’t completely blurry, an arm reached out and held Keith, stopping him from falling and twisting in the lack of gravity that they had.

“I got you,” Hunk said, bringing up his gauntlet as Keith’s vision kept spinning. “There,” Hunk pointed to what looked like a small hatch on the bottom of the ship, as Pidge, Shiro and Allura screamed into their ears.

Keith turned off his comms and glared out into the general abyss. 

He shot his grappling hook up towards the hatch and held onto Hunk as the pair of them flew towards the hatch. With a loud echo of metal, he smacked his helmet on the ship and groaned, what was it with him and smashing his head on stuff?

Hunk snorted loudly enough that Keith swatted at him. He turned his comms back on, to be met with Pidge screeching in his ear. “Hunk and I are making a distraction,” Keith put his hand on the hatch, pushing a little to see how much force he’d need. “You three find him. Okay?”   
  


“Okay,” Came Allura’s voice, which had exhaustion laced in every syllable. “We trust you, Keith.”

“Leave some impulsiveness for the rest of us,” Pidge muttered. As Keith pushed to try to get the hatch open. Hed enough force and grit his teeth as he held either side of the hatch.

Using some of his fairly limited flexibility, he held onto either side of the hatch and swung himself so he was essentially upside down, his feet on the hatch. And he kicked. With both legs.

The hatch didn’t budge.

Keith swore under his breath, gripping onto the sides of the hatch hard enough that his hands and arms shook. He paused for a moment, actually looking at the hatch, scanning it for anything worth trying to aim for.

There was nothing.

He swung back, and his feet met. There was a clang of metal and Keith clambered inside the ship, feeling the metal around him as the vacuum of space threatened to pull him back out. 

Bracing himself on either side of the wall, he held out his hand to Hunk and dragging him up the pair of them slammed the hatch back down with a deft and loud slam. 

Loud enough that Keith jerked up and summoned his bayard which hung in his hand loosely, he twirled it around his fingers as Hunk brought up the blueprint, his eyes scanning up and down for a moment before Hunk started off in one direction.

Keith followed.

Silently after Hunk, without a moment of hesitation as a sentry spotted them and Keith threw his bayard with as much force as he could. Metal hit the ground with a crash and his bayard darted back into his hand with a soft black glow.

That was cool.

Hunk looked slightly impressed, but kept on walking, stepping over the metal. Walking past an archway.

Keith paused, looking down the hallway. Before looking at the blueprint, according to the blueprint that was the barracks. But he felt… drawn to it maybe?

He was barely aware he started walking towards that archway like the step wasn’t one that belonged to him.

Then he paused. “Keith?” Hunk’s voice was confused. “Keith…”

“Down there,” Keith’s voice was barely his own, he wasn’t aware of himself having said anything until it had been said. “Something’s down there…”

“It’s the barracks,” Hunk said quietly, “There’s nothing there, we need that distraction.”

Keith looked around, looking down at his blueprint. For anything that would cause enough distraction to get everyone away from where the others were looking.

And Keith had an idea. 

It was a dumb idea. It was an idea that seemed nice to even call an idea, rather than him just being an idiot. He looked at the side of the ship, knocking on it to see how easy it would be to cut through.

“Hunk,” Keith sighed, “I’d recommend you run.”

“Keith…”

“Trust me,” Keith’s eyes were set on the hallway. “There’s something down there. Either you can come with me, or you can go find another entrance for the others to get through and find Lance.”

Hunk took a weary step away. “Lance is going to kill me for this.”

“Lance knows better than anyone you can’t change my mind,” Keith replied as Hunk took a few steps backwards, still facing Keith.

“Stay safe,” Hunk’s voice was quiet, the way that Keith always imagined a brother’s being. “Okay? Keep your comms on.”

“Yes Mom,” Keith muttered and Hunk took a few more slow steps backwards. “I can handle myself.”

“That’s the thing,” Hunk’s voice was careful, and still quiet out of fear of drawing attention to himself. “You don’t have to. And I still can’t figure out why you think you do,” and he was off, walking down the hallway as Keith watched him go.

He waited. Tapping his foot on the ground, until Hunk had to be on the other side of the ship.

Then he slammed his sword into the side of the ship, and red lights started illuminating the hallways and sirens started blaring enough that Keith winced a little as his helmet closed.

Before walking down the hallway, his steps were surprisingly strong. Even for him.

* * *

Lance was staring up at the roof. Not by choice. More because he had no energy to move up and drag himself out of here, every muscle in his bone was aching, every bone in his body threatened to split at a moment’s notice. Everything was on fire, and aching and every type of pain at once, stabbing, aching, stinging, everything.

He couldn’t even find the strength to wipe the undried tears off his face.

Where Lotor had gone was beyond him, and he didn’t care.

_ “You’re never shooting again,”  _ Lotor had said smugly, as Lance had tried to force back tears.  _ “Oh, how easy it is to break the weakest paladin.” _

Then there had been more pain, pain so bad that Lance couldn’t even think of anything else, and he’d passed out. Between that and waking up he’d been put on the floor… somewhere.

He didn’t care if he died here.

If he couldn’t shoot what good was he?

There were footsteps, loud and echoing against the metal and Lance didn’t even have the strength to turn his head a little and see who it was. 

If it was Lotor hopefully he’d just shoot him, if it was anyone else hopefully they’d also shoot him, maybe then everything would stop hurting so much—

“Lance!”

Huh. Keith.

Keith would probably object to shooting him. Much to his disgust. He didn’t say anything, instead, let himself relax as he was held up in a mess of arms that meant Keith was looking at him.

“Are you—” Keith’s eyes were scanning everywhere, for anything. “What hurts?”

Considering Lance couldn’t manage to string any words together he made a weird gurgling sound that concerned Keith, to say the least, his eyebrows shot up and the panic that flashed across his face said everything.

Keith rarely panicked.

If he did he'd hide it.

This wasn't good then.

"Okay, um, you can blink. Uh— I'm going to ask some questions, blink twice for yes, three times for no and four for not sure."

Lance blinked twice, it was about all he could do. Even he wasn't able to control how he was breathing, his body was doing it all for him.

"Okay," Keith took a deep breath, and Lance felt him smooth down his hair. "Okay. Are you in pain?"

If Lance was able to talk he would've laughed loudly, instead he blinked twice.

"Yeah— makes sense. Oh God, okay… was it electricity?" Keith asked and Lance blinked twice and Keith's eyes darted away for a second, trying to regain something, before looking back at him. "You'll be okay, okay? I got you."

Lance would've nodded if he could, but even breathing was hurting and shooting agony through everything.

"I found him," Keith's voice was quiet, and he was speaking into the comms. "In the barracks."

A pause where Lance's eye flickered closed for a second and was met with a shake which woke him right back up. He managed to groan and lean towards Keith.

"Stay awake," Keith whispered, and more of his hair was being smoothed down. "Lotor—" Keith said and Lance tried to sit up and Keith gently pushed him back down. "Right, I'll get him out—"

Some noise came through Keith's comm which Lance couldn't quite make out.

"Okay," Keith's eyes were on his again. "Lance. I'm going to have to move you."

"Keith." He rasped out, and it hurt, it hurt a whole lot. But Lance was glad it was the first thing he said. "Hurts."

"I know, I know," Keith smoothed Lance's hair down again. "Trust me. I know. Nothing's gonna happen, you're going to get to The Castle."

Lance blinked twice and let himself get peeled off the floor. Keith's arms wrapping around him tightly, like if he let go Lance would stop existing.

"Stay awake," Keith whispered basically into his ear. "Please."

He made a noise and Keith must've taken that as a good thing because he didn't say anything else.

He was so tired. If he could just close his eyes and go to sleep, everything was fuzzy, and everything hurt.

All he wanted was to sleep. Maybe never wake up, surely that would stop the pain. 

Keith's footsteps were oddly grounding, a constant. Then they stopped, completely, and Lance couldn't find the strength to turn his head to see who or what it was.

"Lotor," Keith gritted out.

"Oh," came a sickly sweet voice which made Lance want to flinch away forever, and even hearing it managed to make pain course through him. "If it isn't the apparent leader, the half-breed."

"Now," Lotor sighed, faking a yawn. "You either hand over this pathetic excuse of a paladin and run. Or you both die."

"I'll take my chances with death," Keith's response was immediate, without the slightest hesitation. "Yeah… death is good."

Lotor did something, that Lance didn't see as Keith set him down against the wall. Before slipping his gauntlet onto Lance's arm and activating the shield.

Which was great for Lance. But meant Keith wouldn't have a shield. If Keith cared he didn't show it.

Instead, he stood, his shoulders squared and looking up slightly at Lotor. His eyes filled with… something.

"You will die in this fight," Lotor quirked an eyebrow. "Then so will he," he gestured at Lance with his sword.

"Lucky for him, I'm not planning on dying," Keith quipped, his aboard materialising in his hand. 

"Are you going to give up your life for his?"

Keith's gaze flickered towards Lance for a split second, before looking back at Lotor. His eyes full with something Lance couldn't quite place.

"Yes and I'm willing to take your life on his behalf—" And Keith leapt forwards, jabbing at Lotor who blocked it and swung.

All Lance could do was watch. As Keith darted out of the way of swings that were supposed to kill him like it was nothing like it was another day of work.

Watching Keith fight was normally enthralling. Watching him move was one of Lance's favourite things, but watching him struggle and be so close to injury was not.

Maybe that was why Lance was shaking.

Trembling all over, his hands, his legs, his arms. Everything, like a mini-Earthquake, had taken over him.

Another sword clash which found Keith pushing against Lotor's sword, he stumbled back a bit and Lotor started a barrage of swings which were met with clumsy and struggling blocks.

Lance needed to do something. 

He tried to summon his bayard. Nothing happened. He couldn't get his hand close enough to his leg to summon it.

A pulse of pain shot through him and Lance grit his teeth to stop himself screaming and getting  Keith's attention.

Another try, and he was met with the familiarly heavyweight of his bayard, and the gun that came with it.

His sniper.

His hands were shaking.

He wouldn't be able to make any accurate shots.

Oh.

That had been Lotor's plan all along. Take out the snipers steady hands and see what came next.

There was a yelp, and Lotor was on top of Keith. Struggling to get a dagger into Keith's throat as he pushed against Lotor.

Both of their arms were shaking with the force of trying to either save themself or kill the other one.

Lance winced in pain as he held up his bayard, his hands shaking too much to make any real shot.

He was going to hit Keith like this.

Slowly, he aimed above Lotor's head. Still shaking so much that he had no idea where he'd hit.

But the knife was getting closer and closer to Keith's throat.

He had to do something.

Curling his finger over the trigger there was a thunk against the metal and Lotor looked up at him.

"You missed," he grinned. "What sort of sniper—"

Keith took this as a chance to wrestle Lotor's dagger away and fling it towards Lance's feet.

Before flipping Lotor over in his confusion, and slamming his fist into his nose. Lotor cried out as Keith slammed his fists down. Again and again.

Through a blurry haze, Lance remembered Shiro pulling him off of Lotor, whose face was covered in darker marks, like bruises, and cuts littering almost every visible place.

He'd been knocked out and Allura had carefully put handcuffs on Lotor and started wrangling him towards Blue.

And the last thing that Lance remembered was Shiro asking why, and what had happened, why Keith had reacted like this.

Keith looked at Lance. "He hurt him." He said simply, "He really hurt him."

Then Lance remembered nothing else, apart from the relief of silence and nothingness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Hope you've buckled in because we are (attempting) to start Lotor's redemption.
> 
> An important question regarding Klance. When? I have two options. One is like at the end of the series, and the other involves wayyy more dating shenanigans.
> 
> But... the other one is more dramatic.
> 
> I'd love to hear from you, because like Keith's non-existent Blade arc you can impact what I do in the story!


	2. kindness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C.W / Trigger Warnings: Talks of abuse and the effects it has on someone. I'm not an abuse survivor myself, so I won't ever really understand what it was like, but some people I know are, and I asked them for their answers of what abuse did to them and it led into this mess.
> 
> Please be careful and enjoy reading!

Lance was in the pod. Looking oddly peaceful as Keith stood in front of the pod, tapping his foot on the ground as Pidge and Hunk bustled around him, doing… whatever they were doing.

“Keith,” Pidge said and Keith jumped around. “You can’t just watch him the entire day.”

“I can,” Keith turned back around. “He’d do the same for any of us.”

“Yeah,” Hunk stood next to Keith, “But he’d also know realistically he couldn’t do that. People get injured all the time, imagine if we waited there the entire time they were in a pod… we’d get nothing done.”

That was the thing. No one else got what Lance had gone through, Keith didn’t even get it completely. But he knew that it hurt. He brushed off Hunk, who looked at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Keith walked off.

He was going to beat the crap out of Lotor.

Mainly to make him feel better about this entire thing. He’d already beaten the crap out of Lotor, which is what meant that he was currently in one of the cells.

The plan was to walk straight past the dining area and go to Lotor’s cell and do… something. He paused for a second outside the door of the dining area, left wide open.”

“—torture .” He heard Allura say and he paused properly, before taking a few more steps and leaning next to the door. Straining to hear what Allura and… whoever were talking about.”

“Agreed,” Shiro said and Keith stood up straighter. Was Shiro, Takashi Shirogane, the man known for having upstanding morals was condoning torture? Keith tensed and prayed that his brother wasn’t condoning torture. “He’s Zarkon’s son, there’s bound to be important information.”

Had Keith been dunked in ice? He felt cold all over, his blood seemed to start freezing.

They were going to torture, someone? Lotor. They were going to torture Lotor.

Keith didn’t like the guy, but… torture? Actual torture.

“If he doesn’t give information freely…” Coran trailed off, the ending didn’t need to be said because it was implied and that implication weighed down on Keith’s shoulders.

Coran? Was this the same Coran? The goofy, funny Coran who would never agree that torture was okay?

Oh, God.

Weren’t they supposed to be the good guys?

“What about the others?” Allura asked, “We can not make this decision without them— Keith is the leader, we need to consult him.”

“He’ll agree.” Shiro’s voice was sure, and Keith sunk against the wall. Sitting against it, “I haven’t seen him like that, ever. I’m surprised he hasn’t gone to beat up Lotor right now.”

Coran and Allura laughed. Keith stared ahead. Before slowly standing up.

“Pidge and Hunk saw Lance, they’re logical. It’s the best way to get information,” Shiro said easily and Keith wanted to scream, run in there and scream at all of them to snap out of this. Because they weren’t torturing anyone. 

“What about Lance?” Allura asked, her voice was more tentative. 

Shiro sighed. “Surely having our votes one to six shouldn’t affect it that much— we need to do this.”

Keith took a deep breath. He was the leader. He was the leader, this was his call, not Shiro’s or Allura’s or Coran’s. This was his team, and he wasn’t going to let them torture someone. Not if their only crime was being someone’s son.

“What the fuck?” Keith said, standing in the doorway and three sets of eyes jumped to him. Allura’s eyes darted to Shiro and Shiro blinked a few times, his mouth open and not saying anything. “What’s his crime again? Lotor’s crime? That warrants torture?”

No one said anything.

“Because if I don’t know any better his crime is being related to someone.”

“Keith,” Shiro stepped forwards and Keith stepped back.

“Don’t!” He yelled, “Yes, he hurt Lance and yes he’s an awful person and everything— but… torture? Aren’t we the good guys? This seems like a very Zarkon move,” Allura flinched, but Shiro’s gaze didn’t waver.

“He has information.” His voice was annoyingly calm, and annoying smooth. Like this was supposed to be normal at all, like they weren’t discussing deliberately injuring another human.

“You don’t know that! " Keith yelled, "You don't know that! I know nothing about my parents, why are you assuming Lotor knows everything?"

Shiro took a step forward, his arms crossed over his chest and was met with Keith copying him and standing his ground, only glaring.

"You can't change my mind on this—"

"Lance can't shoot," Allura said and Keith froze, his brain stopped. "He has permanent nerve damage. To the nerves almost exclusively in his hands."

Keith forgot how to breathe for a long time. Only staring blankly. "Ha," Keith said, scanning everyone's faces. "Yeah— okay, sure."

"She's not lying." Coran's voice was the most serious that Keith had heard in a long time. "Lance can't aim. Peripheral neuropathy, as Earthlings call it."

"W—what? Shiro, no."

Shiro didn't say anything.

"No! Shiro! No!" Keith looked between the three faces looking at him. "This is bullshit! That's not—" he looked at Shiro, trying to find anything that told him they were all lying and trying to get him on their side. “Oh my God,” he muttered, “Oh my God. What the fuck— I’m going to kill him—”

He spun around, ready to beat all the colour out of Lotor until Shiro yanked him back. “Okay Mister Morality,” Keith fought against Shiro, but Shiro didn’t let go. “You can’t actually kill Lotor.”

“Watch me—” Keith pushed off Shiro and Allura grabbed him. Allura was a lot stronger than Shiro and so managed to get him away for the door and didn’t let go no matter how much Keith struggled.

Fighting against Allura was never going to work, so he slacked completely. “Let me go!” Keith yelled, but all the fight was being drained out of him, “Let me go!”

Allura did let go, Keith stumbled forward a bit before crossing his arms, and turning back around to face all three of them, all of them were waiting for his reaction. To say that the torture was going to be allowed.

He should’ve said it was okay.

Lotor had hurt Lance, the real type of hurt, the type of hurt that a pod couldn’t fix and the type of hurt that stayed and had a very real impact.

He’d hurt Lance.

But something inside of him said not to allow this. People weren’t horrible naturally, and Lotor couldn’t have been that much older than him or Allura. Maybe he was as old as Shiro— but that was still young.

“No,” Keith managed to make his voice stronger than he felt. “We’re not torturing him.”

“Keith,” Shiro sighed. “Think about what’s best for the team—”

“No!” Keith yelled, “We’re not becoming like them! Lotor tortures people, the Galra torture people, I’ve been tortured by the Galra and brainwashed by them and hurt by them and— we’re not becoming like them! That’s what’s best for the team, are we any better if we have the same morals than them?”

Allura stepped forward, “Keith. This is war, we all give up things—”

“You’re telling me?” Keith asked, “I know! I’ve given up even thinking about Lance, or even thinking about the idea of being with him! I’ve given up time and hours and my teenage years when I’m supposed to be getting black-out drunk, not making decisions that have effects on the universe! I’m supposed to be at college now, or trying to get back into The Garrison or living peacefully without knowing about all of this,” he wildly gestured around himself. “I’ve given up so much for this stupid little war that your father helped create—”

“How dare you speak about my father like that,” Allura started, stepping forward and Coran held out an arm to stop her. “How. Dare. You. He is twice the man you’ll ever be.”

“Like your father, I’m not giving up my morals!” He slammed his hands down on the table, mainly to make a point. “I’m not becoming like  _ them. _ ” The ‘them’ meant so many things, all of them went unspoken.

“What are you going to do?” Allura scoffed.

“Leave,” Keith said, shocking himself and Shiro. “I’ll just leave. I’ll go back home.”

“Here is your home,” Allura snapped, “You have nothing to run to, all you have is us and if you’re not careful you’ll lose us!”

“Princess—” Coran started.

“Fine!” Keith yelled, “Whatever. I don’t care. If I lose you guys because I’m the only one willing not to  _ torture  _ someone, then I don’t care if I lose you. Have fun, I’m leaving,” he turned around.

Pidge was in the doorway, her lip trembling and her eyes wide. As Hunk stood next to her, a hand over his mouth and his eyes were shining more than usual. 

“What?” Pidge rasped, her voice was the wobbliest that he’d heard it in a long time. “Why are you— what?”

“They want to torture someone,” Keith spat. “And Allura is trying to threaten me into agreeing with her.”

“He’s Galra,” Allura yelled, “He’s Zarkons son, he’s evil.”

“Evil doesn’t exist,” Pidge muttered quietly.

“I’m Galra. I might be the son of some important Galra officer,” Keith yelled, spinning back around. “I fight as my first instinct and ask questions later…” he trailed off, before turning back around. Picking Pidge up and whirring her around before setting her back on the ground.

“Let him go,” he heard Shiro’s voice say, “He’s not actually leaving.”

Keith wanted to prove him wrong, God, he wanted to prove Shiro wrong and leave, take Black and make them find him, or run from them, try and prove a point, try and do something to prove his point.

But he needed to find Lotor. Right now. And he wasn’t even going to hit him… not on purpose anyway.

He walked into the cell sections, ignoring all of the messy bloody cells and Keith didn’t want to think about what had happened there once upon a time. He reached the end of the hall and the final cell.

The cells had lasers instead of walls, they were like little laser boxes, rather than anything else. Which meant the only way someone could get out was either if someone with the authority let Lotor out, including the paladins and Coran.

Keith sat down in front of the laser box. His eyes meeting the purple and yellow of Lotor’s. There were still scratches and markings on his face, thanks to Keith, and he just looked at Keith. More tired than anyone had ever looked at him.

“Oh. Great,” he said flatly. “You’re here.”

“Hi,” Keith said and said nothing else. Crossing his legs and staring at Lotor who stared back, before glanced away and looked back at Keith.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you trying to intimidate me?” Lotor said slowly. 

“No, I think I’ve already done that,” Keith gestured at Lotor who nodded once, before tilting his head a little, before looking away and Keith was more than fine with that. “How much do you know about the Galra.”

Lotor blinked at him. “If this is your interrogation tactic, it’s not very effective.”

“I’m asking,” Keith argued, “Not interrogating you,” he laid down, his legs still crossed, not looking at Lotor and instead speaking up to the ceiling. “I don’t care, you don’t have anything worth sharing anyway.”

“That tactic may work on your friends, but it won’t work on me,” and if Keith was correct, he heard the slightest hint of amusement in his voice. 

“The friends you hurt,” Keith deadpanned again, forcing himself to keep his voice level. “And one of my friends you electrocuted?”

“Yes.” The answer was short and clipped, and Lotor didn’t look Keith in the eyes as he said it. 

Keith raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything else. Instead staring up at the ceiling. Staying quiet because he needed a moment to think everything through. “Your father is Zarkon… right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, just checking.” Keith sat up, and Lotor was watching him carefully.

“You are going to say I’m like him, aren’t you?” Lotor deadpanned, “I have been called worse.”

“Probably,” Keith agreed, “And you probably deserved it,” he stood up. Looking at Lotor one last time, he looked fairly pathetic, surrounded by lasers that would kill him instantly if he dared to try and leave or escape, all scratched up with what Keith assumed were bruises littering his face.

“How old are you?” He asked, and Lotor looked up at him in surprise.

“What?”

“How old are you? Galra lifespan… it’s naturally a hundred years, maybe one-hundred and fifty depending on various things. So why have you been alive for so long.”

“I age slowly,” Lotor looked at Keith curiously. “High exposure to Quintessence… that’s what Zarkon said at least.”

Keith nodded, standing up straighter and stretching. Before giving a small wave and turning around, walking the other way.

And despite everything, he couldn’t help smiling.

* * *

He sat again. In front of the lady in charge Mrs Baker. As his nose refused to stop bleeding and his eye was starting to swell up. Arms crossed. Keith focused on some of the drawings that the other kids had done in front of him. Hanging on the wall as he glared at them because that was easier than doing anything else as Mrs Baker sighed.

Third time in two weeks. The third time he’d punched a kid in two weeks. He could hear it in Mrs Baker’s sigh and the way she pinched the bridge of her nose. “You’ve had three chances, Keith.”

“I know.”

“Your social worker and I believe you need a stable environment. Not like this.”

He didn’t like what the older kids were saying about him. He didn’t like it a tiny bit at all. So he had to leave as soon as he could.

He’d punched the other kid for a reason, he wasn’t ever someone to punch someone else without a reason. Even when he was a kid, there was always a reason. He wanted her to push, he wanted her to question this and why Keith was acting out so suddenly and violently. He wanted a bigger question to be asked.

Mrs Baker gave him a small, nearly sad smile. “I’m not sure what the older kids said to you Keith but if you tell me I can do something. You’re a good kid. I’ve seen this plan in kids before. Why are you trying to get away?”

Keith shrugged.

“I’m sorry Keith.”

Then Keith had gotten whisked off to some other home, gotten whisked off before he could create anything permanent, or before someone could get to know him well enough to ask the right questions.

The answer to why he hit that kid was simple. The start of a long pattern in his life was simple.

An older kid wanted to beat him up.

And Keith had to prove that he wasn’t going to let that happen by going for a target who was smaller, one who would get the older kids attention and tell him to, 'BACK OFF'.

* * *

Lance woke up. Which in itself was confusing enough, as the warm and ever-welcoming arms of Hunk caught him. Before wrapping around him and hugging the little life that Lance had out of him.

With a groan, Lance looked up, with everyone looking at him worried. Everyone but Keith. Where was Keith?   
  


He didn’t say anything, instead, his legs wobbled underneath him before caving and he was caught by Hunk, who caught him with more grace than Lance would’ve ever managed for himself and Lance blinked a few times.

“Ha. Just fell for you,” Lance laughed, before laughing louder. Everything felt kind of fuzzy, and weird. 

Did Pidge always spin? “Why’s Pidge spinnin’?” Lance asked, trying to stand up properly but collapsing back into Hunk’s arms and laughing louder because this was the funniest thing that had ever happened to him.

“Is he drunk?” 

“Keef!” Lance tried to stand up straight but just ended up with Hunk having to hold him up as Lance waved excitedly. “Hi!”

“Hi?”

“Hello!”

“Hi?”

“Howdy!”

“What?” Keith asked, “What’s happening to him?”

Coran stepped forwards, “Unexpected side-effect. The pod messed with Lance’s brain a little.”

“Ha!” Lance giggled and looked at Coran, “You’re a funny guy Coran, Core-ran, ha! Why’s your name like that? It sounds like a German sneeze.”

“Holy shit,” Pidge muttered, “This is getting recorded.” She got out her phone and put it away at Shiro’s stern look and Lance laughed louder because Shiro’s face was the funniest thing that he’d ever seen—

Keith sighed, “I’m going to go and do literally anything else—”

“No!” Lance made grabby-hands at Keith. “Don’t leave me here.”

“I’m not leaving you,” Keith deadpanned. “You’re surrounded by people.”

“But they’re not you,” Lance whined, still doing grabby-hands at Keith, who looked unimpressed, to say the least. “Please, Keithy.”

“Nope,” Keith scrunched up his nose, “If you promise to never call me Keithy again.”

“Okay,” Lance muttered, as he launched himself at Keith. Who swore several times before catching Lance just before his nose should’ve hit the ground. “Hey,” Lance said as Keith continued swearing manically standing Lance upright. “Hi,” he grinned up at Keith who sighed.

“I’m taking this back,” he pushed Lance back towards Allura. “You take him.”

“No way!” Pidge said, “He requested you,” she pushed Lance back at Keith.

“I haven’t known him since I was like… twelve,” he pushed Lance back at Pidge and Hunk, “I have shit I need to do, I can’t just babysit Lance.”

“What?” Pidge scoffed, “Like talk to Lotor, I know you want another Galra buddy, but Lotor?”

Lance stood up straighter, managing to find his strength. “Lotor? Why’s he here?”

“Oh fuck,” Pidge muttered. “Lance. We’ll tell you when you’re less out of it. Okay.”

“Okay,” Lance muttered, as he fell back against Keith’s chest. “Pft, Lotor, more like… motor.”

“Lance,” Hunk sighed, “We all love you very much—”

“Some more than others,” Pidge muttered and Hunk elbowed her.

“But you aren’t thinking straight.”

“Poor boy’s never had a single straight thought,” Pidge added and Hunk glared at her, making Lance roar with laughter and everyone around him sigh. “Dear Lord,” Pidge muttered, “We ask for you because this gangly-ass Cuban boy needs your help—”

“You don’t swear in prayers,” Keith said from behind him. “Why am I correcting you, I don’t care.”

“You’re Christian?” Hunk asked.

“Nope. I’ve been in Christian families, they were nice.”

“Weren’t one super homophobic?” Shiro added, “And racist.”

“Correct,” Keith said, “But they made these great sausage rolls, the key is the vegetables, it’s all in the vegetables and the sauces you put in— nevermind.” He took a deep breath, “I’m taking Lance.”

“Like on a date?” Pidge asked and Keith just sighed. “Oh, to your bedroom then? Keith, you’re moving too fast!”

“I hope you can move fast when I tear out your throat,” Keith snapped.

“Okay, okay,” Shiro said, “Everyone needs to relax.”

“Okay,” Lance said and closed his eyes.

When he next woke up he was on the couch, feeling like all of his limbs weighed kilos. He sat up quickly, trying to figure out where he was. Instead, he was met with Hunk’s face and immediately relaxed.

“Oh,” Lance sighed, leaning back against the couch. “Hey, buddy.”

“Hey,” Hunk smiled. 

He rubbed at his eyes, before looking around lazily. “Huh. I had a crazy dream.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, Lotor, y’know Zarkon’s son captured me and electrocuted me and then Keith showed up and beat the hell out of him and—” he looked down at his hands, “My hands were all—”

His hands were shaking.

Why were his hands shaking? He slowly looked up at Hunk.

“Hunk?”

“Lance, I’m sorry—”

"Ha," Lance said, scanning Hunk’s face, for. "Yeah— okay, sure."

“Lance.” Hunk gave a sad smile and that cracked something inside of Lance.

"W—what? Hunk, no."

Hunk didn’t say anything, just looked at Lance, his eyes filled with tears. Lance looked back down at his hands, they were shaking, they were shaking like how Pidge’s did when she was scared, or Keith’s when he was coming down from an adrenaline high.

How was he supposed to shoot?

“No,” Lance said, it was weak, barely a word and more of a sigh. “This is— no,” he whispered, “I— what?” He looked at Hunk again, and Hunk opened his mouth to say something.

“He…” Is all that Lance said, before throwing up his arms. “He took away the only thing I was good at?” His voice was a yell, “That bastard just took away the only thing keeping me on the team and now—”

“Lance…” Hunk looked at him. “What are you talking about?”

Lance didn’t elaborate, instead, he launched himself over the couch and stormed out. Planning on hiding somewhere that nobody could find him.

He looked down at his hands, which were still shaking as he walked. Unable to stay still for a second as he walked down the hallway, he didn’t know where he was going. More that he was going somewhere.

Where was somewhere?

That was beyond him.

But Lance honestly was planning on staring out of a window and looking at space, and maybe having a small breakdown. The usual. He walked for long enough that Lance had no idea where he was, and he was probably in one of the unseen parts of The Castle, one of the rooms they were yet to clear out.

It was like the observatory, the entire ceiling was a window. Showing out to the vastness and emptiness above them, with the only thing distracting him from the darkness was the flickers and sprinkles of stars. There was a pile of blankets and pillows which Lance started arranging into his little fort.

Eventually, he settled down in his fort. Staring up and the sprinkles and spots of twinkling colours, they varied colours too, but most of them were white. He squinted and saw a red looking star.

Around it was a blue one, a green one, a yellow one and a purple one. All Lance did was stare at them, quirking his mouth up into a smile at them, before looking at the other stars. Squinting to see what some of the constellations looked like if he turned his head a little and used some creative liberties.

One kinda looked like a dog, if you squinted, sacrificed a lamb… or something to some God and did a handstand it almost looked like a wonky dog, which was good enough for Lance, because he wasn’t doing much, more just filling in the time.

Preparing for when he inevitably had to face the team again and tell them he needed to be off the team and soon.

One of the made-up constellations looked like a frog.

How was he supposed to be on the team if he couldn’t shoot a gun? That was his thing, guns. He shot guns at people. That was his thing, he didn’t have a backup thing, and there were six paladins. Lance didn’t need to be here, in fact maybe it would be better if—

That one looked like a bad sheep.

He almost laughed to himself and watched the stars. They had the odd sense of unfamiliarity, they just looked wrong, and Lance couldn’t place why specifically they just looked… off. Like they weren’t supposed to look like that. He watched, bundled in blankets which were wrapped tightly around him.

He’d need to face the team eventually. What was he supposed to say to them? Sorry? That he needed to leave straight away because he was jeopardizing the team.

He didn’t want to have to leave, he loved it here. He loved being a paladin, he loved being part of something that was able to help others. He loved being here with everyone else.

It didn’t matter if he was jeopardizing the team he needed to leave, lives were at stake here, he couldn’t afford to be selfish—

“One of them looks like a shark,” came a voice and Lance jumped, scrambling for his great weapon, which was a pillow and threw it with as much force as he could. “Mphf—” something hit the floor and Lance finally managed to look at the thing on the floor.

Judging by the messy black hair and the annoyed looked, Lance was willing to bet that was Keith. But the real question was… how? What sort of coincidences lead Keith here, Lance had walked halfway across The Castle so everyone left him alone.

Yet Keith was here.

“Ow.” Is all Keith said, sitting up and glaring slightly at Lance, who looked back at him.

For a moment the pair of them just stared at each other. Not quite sure what to say, so Lance didn’t say anything. Instead turning around in his pillow nest and holding his blankets over his face.

Instead of anything else, like Keith leaving. His pillow nest shifted around and a warm mass of… body was lying next to him. Trying to get underneath the blanket, Lance sighed and relented. Giving Keith some of the blankets and turning around to face him.

They were very close.

Close enough that Lance could feel Keith’s breath, and he imagined that it was the same the other way around. 

“What?” Lance asked and Keith gave a one-shoulder shrug. “Sorry, I don’t let mullets into the nest.”

“There’s an exception to every rule,” Keith said, lazily smiling and Lance would’ve been a liar if he said that did nothing to him. “And I’m making myself the exception.”

“How did you find me?”

“Everyone’s looking for you,” Keith gave a one-shouldered shrug, “We’re all worried about you.”

“There’s nothing to be worried about,” Lance mumbled, extending a hand so his fingertips were tangled in Keith’s hair. He stayed still for a moment, and when Keith didn’t protest he left them there. Trying to get out some of the knots. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not,” Keith said, throwing his arm over Lance’s waist who said nothing. “No one expects you to bounce back straight away.”

“I’m leaving,” Lance whispered and Keith’s eyes shot wide.

“Um… no.”

“What?”

“You can’t leave, you’re… you can’t leave.”

Lance closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and rolling onto his back. Looking back up at the stars. “There are six paladins… if one is out, one who can be easily replaced and who can’t fight right now—”

“You can fight,” Keith sat up. Looking at Lance, with his eyes so soft and gentle that Lance had to look back at him, “You’re good with swords, and you’re alright at hand-to-hand and even if you don’t want to fight, you’re still a strategist and you’re still Lance. You’re still our friend if we give up on you when one thing goes slightly wrong. What kinda friends are we?”

“Normal ones,” Lance replied bleakly. 

“Lance… I’m part alien, nothing about this is normal. I am currently arguing the ethics of—” he cut himself off and Lance sat up too, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at Keith.

“Ethics of what?”

“I shouldn’t—”

Lance did everything he could to channel his younger sibling energy and give his best puppy-dog eyes. Ones that could rival Pidge’s.

“No. That won’t work on me,” Keith said, and Lance continued to do his best puppy-dog eyes. Staying quiet, as he forced Keith to look on him. “Okay, maybe it will work on me— Lotor.”

Lance tensed straight away and Keith put a hand on his shoulder, and Lance was mad at how he relaxed straight away. Looking up at Keith. “We captured him,” Keith said, refusing to meet Lance’s eyes. “And the others want to torture him for information… and I don’t.”

“Oh.” Lance said, realising why Keith wasn’t meeting his eyes, “You’re on Lotor’s side?”

“No,” Keith mumbled, “I’m not on anyone’s side… I’m not okay with torturing someone.”

Lance stayed quiet, laying back down, staring up at the stars. Trying to think about it. Torture. Torture, was a lot of things, with so many layers that Lance hadn’t even started thinking about.

Inflicting pain on someone was always hard, but when it was a choice that was something completely different. Hurting someone in self-defence, or accidentally was so, so different from controlling that hurt and meaning to do it.

“That’s a Zarkon move,” Lance said and Keith nodded next to him, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. “I— it’s complicated.”

“Maybe,” Keith replied. “You don’t have to agree with me.”

“I know.”

“I don’t have to agree with you.”

“I know.”

Lance didn’t know what to say.

He didn’t know much really.

All he knew was that he was Cuban, bisexual and exhausted. It was somehow that simple and that complicated. Nothing felt real, it all felt like the swirling terror of a nightmare, which would eventually cease and bring him back to the real world.

“We want you on the team.”

“Huh?”

“Sorry, we  _ need  _ you on the team… we want you on the team, you’re… well you, and you’re everyone’s favourite paladin—”

“I’m not—”

“You are,” Keith looked down, “No one will admit to it, but you’re everyone’s favourite… Pidge loves you, Hunk loves you, Shiro thinks you’re the funniest fucker ever, Allura knows that you’re competent in battle and a good fighter and Coran—” he chuckled, “Coran likes you the most, he calls the rest by our numbers and he calls you Lance. He thinks the entire world, no, the universe of you.”

“What about you?” Lance asked, expecting Keith to shove him and call him an idiot.

“You’re everything,” Keith said like that didn’t make his poor little heart swoop before doing several flips. “Just— yeah, you’re my favourite. I love everyone for different reasons, but I reckon I love you the most.”

“No-homo,” Lance laughed and Keith rolled his eyes.

“You’re an idiot,” Keith muttered, nudging Lance’s shoulder with his own. “An idiot who we all need, and we all want and the only one who will defuse a fight between Allura and I without one of us throwing a punch. You’re the one who watches Pidge and I talk about conspiracies for hours and hours, and you don’t put down our dumb ideas— because they’re so dumb, of course, Shiro isn’t the Zodiac Killer, his grandparents weren’t born yet and you don’t say anything because we’re interested and having fun.”

“Keith—”

“You’re an idiot because you love every child like it’s your own and you love every person like they’ll be here forever and you’re an idiot for thinking we don’t love you and won’t let you lean on us a little.”

“I can’t shoot,” Lance mumbled. He held out his hands in front of him and watched them shake and tremor. “I can barely aim, what am I supposed to do? What’s Voltron supposed to do?”

“I’ll learn to shoot,” Keith said easily, holding out his own hands which shook the slightest bit, but far less than Lance’s. “You learn how to use swords.”

“W—what?”

Keith shrugged, “Teach me how to shoot.”

“I—”

“My bayard can turn into a gun, we’ve both seen it. We might as well learn how to use it.”

“My bayard isn’t a sword.”

Keith shrugged. “I have wielded the red bayard, maybe it kinda keeps? The imprint from the last bayard? If Shiro ever used his bayard I’m sure I’d have some funky bayard.”

“Why didn’t he use it?”

Keith gave a half-shrug, before grabbing Lance’s hand and pulling him onto his feet. Smiling as he pulled down Lance’s jacket. “C’mon red paladin.”

Lance rolled his eyes, but he also laughed and that seemed good enough for Keith.

* * *

“Left foot,” Lance chided and Keith moved his foot back. “Hold that,” Lance said and Keith rolled his eyes dramatically, glaring at Lance out of the corner of his eye. Lance walked around Keith, trying to see if his posture was right. “Yup.”

“I’ve seen you shoot in positions that weren’t this. You were hanging upside down once—”

“Uh-pup-pup-pup, quiet, shoot.” Lance gestured at the small switch at the other side of the room. Which Keith hadn’t gotten once, much to his disgust. Keith closed an eye and held the gun steady.

His finger curled around the trigger but didn’t pull. “Stop over-analysing. Pidge does the maths for bullet trajectories and it won’t be the same as her shooting a gun. So just shoot.”

Keith slacked, “I can’t do it.”

“You can,” Lance argued, deciding that there was no time for an argument, “You are going to learn to shoot and you’re going to be good at it.”

“Am I?”

“You are.”

“What do I get outta this?”

“My love and adoration,” Lance drawled but forgot to leave out the part where he said that Keith already had both of those things and instead snapped his fingers. “Do the thing.”

“Uh,” Keith groaned, moving so he was on one knee, looking like he was about to propose. Making it so that the gun was resting on his knee, as he closed one eye, took a deep breath and with a quiet noise, there was a splash of blue next to the switch.

“Keep going,” Lance said, “Adjust from what you just learnt.”

With another thunk, the lights turned off and Lance whooped before he could stop himself, throwing his arm around Keith and yelling generally. “You’re amazing! You wonder-boy!” He jumped up and down a little and Keith laughed as Lance jumped up and down.

Sprinting over towards the light he turned it on, even if he got blue on his finger-tips and jumped up and down giving Keith a huge smile and thumbs up. “Woo!” He ran at Keith and all-but launched himself into his arms, with a soft ‘oomph’ Keith was pushed back and Lance laughed into his neck.

Keith was laughing too, and the pair of them were just jumping up and down screaming. Not about a lot in particular, more just in general. “You’re amazing!” Lance yelled, “You’re amazing!” He said a bit quieter, before holding Keith by the shoulders at arm's length.

He looked beautiful. There was no other word that would describe it, even beautiful didn’t seem to do Keith justice. His eyes were alight, and almost looked sparkling, his lips were drawn into a real smile that wrinkled the corners of his eyes.

His hair, the slope of his nose and his cheekbones which would probably cut watermelon if they wanted to. Everything. Everything about Keith was beautiful.

Instead of saying that Lance smiled, “You’re— amazing,” he all-but whispered and Keith raised an eyebrow and Lance let go, before punching him in the shoulder in a very, bros-will-be-dudes way. “You did alright.”

“Good, because my teacher was awful.”

“Hey!” Lance yelled, whacking Keith in the arm. “That’s rude!”

Keith didn’t say anything, instead just grinning at him as Lance started slapping his arm. Not with any force, it was more like a tap than a slap, before sending a few fake punches directed at his shoulder.

“Um—” Hunk was in the doorway. “Am I interrupting something?"

"No!" Lance squeaked. "Just two dudes being bros…"

Keith facepalmed. "You couldn't sound like you were lying more if you tried.”

Hunk snorted, before shifting his weight from foot-to-foot and exclusively looking down at his feet. “Uh— the team— we need to talk about some stuff…”

“Oh,” Lance said, and the thoughts started running before he could stop him. He was getting kicked off the team, he was properly and finally getting kicked off the team. Hunk walked away, his feet almost running as he left. Leaving Keith and him. “They’re kicking me off—”

“They’re not. I promise you. If anything they’re kicking me off,” Keith snorted and Lance raised an eyebrow at him. “Um… well, uh, Lotor.”

“Oh.” And it seemed like he’d been saying that a lot recently. Lance nodded a bit, before taking a deep breath that seemed to wobble in his chest.

“If you’re leaving, I’m going with you,” Keith said, his eyes set dead-ahead, like he wasn’t even going to dare glance at Lance and Lance couldn’t figure out why. “If they kick you off I’ll— do something.”

“It can be our villain origin story,” Lance grinned and Keith laughed louder than he did. “That would be a pretty cool villain origin story. Sympathetic villains who? “God, we’d be terrifying bad guys,” Lance said, walking in time with Keith who nodded and laughed. “Imagine. If we didn’t have a universe to fight for we’d be fucking ruthless…”

“Huh?” Keith scrunched up his nose. 

“Well… we’re both protective and if we only needed to protect each other, we’d be ruthless—”

They walked into the dining area where Shiro was standing, his arms crossed. “Lance good to see you awake.”

“Are you talking about a villain origin story?” Pidge asked, adjusting her glasses. “Again. We get it, you’d be a terrifying bad-guy.”

“Lucky for us,” Hunk smiled, “You’re a good person.”

Shiro cleared his throat and all eyes shot to him, Allura was standing next to him, tapping her foot, as Coran lurked in the background and Lance could tell by his tense shoulders that he was planning on trying to stop a fight if one occurred.

Oh. Great.

Lance crossed his arms, glancing at everyone. They all seemed pretty divided. Pidge and Hunk were standing together, Allura and Shiro were standing together and him and Keith were standing next to each other.

A moment of silence which felt like one of the most awkward ones Lance had ever experienced and didn’t want that to happen ever again. He could hear everyone breathing, and basically everyone thinking.

Shiro’s eyes glanced over to Lance and he sighed. “We have captured Lotor, as I’m sure you all know and it appears that the team has gotten into a… disagreement.”

“This is fucked,” Keith muttered, Lance could barely hear it, so he doubted that anyone else could, even in the dead silence. Keith took a deep breath, “Just so you all know, this is how social services would talk about me.”

Shiro sighed, not looking at Keith, “Keith. When you were a child you hadn’t tried to kill anyone.”

“Subjective.” Lance added and Shiro’s eyes shot to him. “I mean— Keithers over here had anger issues.”

“Don’t call me Keithers!” Keith yelled before taking a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Lance. Be quiet.”

“Yessir,” Lance saluted and Pidge and Hunk both snorted loudly, as Pidge laughed into her hand. Stopping as soon as Allura glared at her, and Hunk stiffened as Allura’s eye-daggers were directed at him.

“Don’t compare Lotor to you,” Allura snapped. “You’re not half as bad as that vile, filthy, bag of—” she looked at Pidge who shrugged. “Um… bag of rewiqui.” She crossed her arms and no one said anything for a moment a bit longer than it needed to be.

Alrighty then. Cool. Great even.

“We’re not torturing him,” Keith said, “End of discussion. We shouldn’t even be discussing torturing someone. Not someone who doesn’t even have a crime anyone can pin down.”

“Damn,” Lance muttered, “Go off.”

“Lance. Be quiet,” Allura said and Lance crossed his arms even tighter instead of replying. “Lotor has information, and if he doesn’t give it freely then we have no choice but to—”

“People get better,” Lance said, and he felt all the eyes in the room jump onto him. “People get better when they’re given an environment to get better. Keith got better when he was given unconditional love and support— how are we supposed to villainize someone who never got the chance to be a good person?”

“What?” Allura asked, the dumbfounded expression on her face clear. “People are good for the sake of it.”

“People are what they need to be to survive,” Keith butted in, and Lance was more than grateful for that. “You’re ruthless because you need to be and it’s all you’ve been shown, and it’s the only method that works to keep you safe. I don’t expect any of you to understand but— uh—”

“Lotor probably didn’t grow up in a fantastic environment,” Lance added and Keith clicked his fingers.

“Correct, thank you Lance. You can’t be good in an environment where to survive you need to be… a bit more morally grey?”

Pidge’s face was the most confused it had been in… probably years. Fair enough. Lance looked at Pidge, whose eyes were darting around to get confirmation or clarification from someone.

“Wasn’t Bae Bae a rescue?” Lance asked and Pidge paused for a second before nodding. “What was she like when you first got her?”

“Um,” Pidge said, very intelligently. Top ten geniuses and Earth clearly. “Aggressive. We couldn’t pet her, and she wouldn’t go up stairs… we had to be gentle with her.”

“See, Bae Bae was never allowed to be gentle, so all she knew was being aggressive,” Keith added. “So if we give the courtesy of being gentle to a dog, why don’t we give it to Lotor?”

“Because,” Hunk yelled, “Bae Bae didn’t hurt Lance, Lotor did!”

Lance tensed and opened his mouth, he didn’t have a defence.

“Remember that mission all that time ago?” Keith looked at Hunk, “Lance and I went onto a planet and got ambushed by the Galra, and he was an idiot and got stabbed for me—”

“Starting a concerning pattern,” Pidge added.

“Correct. And then when he got out of the pod I freaked out and slammed him against the pod? Everyone thought I was going to hit him.”

“Vividly,” Shiro muttered, “I thought you were going to kill him.” He shuddered.

“Why?” Keith crossed his arms, “Why did I do that?”

“Is this a therapy session?” Pidge asked, “Because if so I’m charging.”

“Pidge,” Allura said sternly and Pidge’s mouth clamped closed. “How are we supposed to know? There is no way anyone can know anything as complicated as what you were feeling—”

“Scared.” Lance said easily, “It was as clear as day people. He was scared. That was it, anger is a secondary emotion. He wasn’t angry at me, he was scared.”

“How?” Allura asked, “How do you know that? He may have been furious with you.”

“He wasn’t,” Lance argued, and arguing for Keith was a lot easier than he thought it would be. It was just so obvious, something that he knew without needing to think about it. Sometimes it was scary how well he could read Keith. “He just wasn’t, do you think Keith grew up in an environment where strangers would almost die for him?”

Silence. Keith laughed, doubling over and shaking his head. Before standing up again, and having his face deadly serious like he hadn’t just almost died of laughter. “Right, right, sorry,” Keith grinned. “Yeah. I was scared, emotions, lashing out. When you’re angry you’re angry because of another emotion. Sadness, grief, disappointment, whatever.”

“That’s great,” Allura drawled. “Where’s the relevance?”

“There’s not a lot,” Keith muttered, before looking back at Allura. “Maybe it was less extreme than what Lotor did… but Lotor probably grew up in a more extreme environment. If being ruthless is the only way he got by then of course he’s ruthless because he was never allowed to be anything but.”

Shiro sighed, running a hand down his face. “You’re hedging a lot of bets on the fact that Lotor isn’t his fathers right-hand and runs after him copying his every action.”

“I’d bet my life on it,” Keith said, “I’d bet Lance’s life on it.”

“Hey!”

“Shiro. I love you,” Keith said, “You’re my brother, but you will never really understand being in an abusive environment until you’re in one. You can try. But it’s not just being thrown around.”

Everyone looked uncomfortable, maybe because Keith was being so open, and that was a new thing for everyone. A good thing, but new none-the-less. Keith took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts for his moment.

“It's the emotional manipulation and gaslighting, being thrown around hurts, but words leave something that doesn’t leave you. You think you deserve it and that you’re all these awful things, you can’t just be— you’re too busy trying to create walls and wondering how to stay safe rather than developing morals and any ideas beyond what’s going to happen to you tomorrow. It’s awful, it takes away you as a human, you’re a different person and you can’t tell where you start and the protective walls you’ve had to build end.” Keith sighed, rubbing a hand down his face and giving himself a moment.

Everyone was silent, and if they weren’t going to be Lance was willing to glare them down until they were forced into silence. 

“I won’t ever really know who I am,” Keith sighed. “You guys don’t have that… I think… you all are pretty sure of who you are, Pidge is the genius, Shiro’s the leader, Hunk’s the empath, Lance is the sweetheart, Allura is the badass, Coran is also badass in a quieter way— I’m the loner—”

“You’re really not—”

“I’m the loner, I have my walls up and I don’t know if that’s who I am, or what the abuse has made me to be,” Keith sighed, “And none of you get that, and I understand that, and I don’t expect any of you to. So Shiro, I know that Zarkon is a shit parent, I know that Lotor hasn’t ever had a chance to be good and I know that Lotor deserves some sympathy.”

“Lance can’t shoot because of him!” Hunk yelled, “You justify Lotor,  _ Lotor?  _ Just because you’re Galra doesn’t mean you're his friend or we can trust him!”

Hunk, sweet Hunk, trying to protect Lance from the world. Part of him was grateful. Another part of him wanted to grab him by the shoulders and tell him that Lance knew his limits.

Keith sighed. “Hunk… there’s a difference between wanting to do something and needing to do it.”

“You’re saying he needed to electrocute Lance?” Hunk yelled and Lance hated the way that he tensed up straight away and he hated the way he wanted to cry at that. “That’s… dumb! He didn’t need to do anything, he wanted to.”

Lance could understand both points here. Hunk was protective and loyal, of course he wasn’t just going to forgive Lotor for hurting Lance, but he probably didn’t have half an idea of what Lotor had been through or was going through. Keith did.

And he hated the fact that he trusted Keith more than Hunk here. Because Hunk was his best friend, but Keith was something else entirely and something in his gut told him that Keith was right here.

“You do things to survive the best way you can in your environment and if that requires punching someone in the face then you swing and you don’t miss,” Keith sighed. “Look. I’m not expecting any of you to agree with me.”

Allura scoffed and Keith ignored her.

“But, just give me a chance. A week to get some sort of information or something… that gives you time to think of a method that isn’t torture.”

Shiro’s eyes were on Keith, “Keith… you can’t save everyone. Lotor isn’t a chance to say all the things you wanted to be told when you were young.”

“I know that, and maybe Lotor can’t be helped. But maybe he can, and I’m not willing to sit by and not try to do anything. And I don’t care if any of you don’t agree with me because I will play the leader card.”

“But—” Hunk started.

“But nothing,” Lance said, sounding braver than he felt. “Let Keith try.”

“Lance—” Allura tried to start, bless her, but she was never going to finish.

“Keith’s the leader and we all trust him. Let him try.”

“Lotor hurt you!” Hunk yelled, “And you’re just going to let him off because he might have some sad backstory?”

“I am well aware of that,” Lance snapped, “Thank you, Hunk, for your insightful information. Believe it or not, I was there and believe it or not I’m feeling the effects of it all and my hands won’t stop shaking and—” he took a deep breath. “I know.”

“Lance,” Keith said, “If you don’t think this is a good idea and it’ll effect you.”

“Jesus,” Pidge muttered. “No one can change your mind and then Lance comes in with his stupid scar and his stupid injuries and suddenly your mind is changed.”

“Pidge.” Shiro sighed and Pidge gestured around wildly.

“They’re so dumb, they’re so dumb! What sort of idiots can’t see how—” Hunk slapped a hand over her mouth, so the only thing were muffled sounds as Pidge flailed around. Pidge slapped Hunk in the arm and all he did was frown.

“Pidge,” Shiro snapped and Pidge stopped straight away. “Stop.”

“But—”

“But nothing. We need to trust them,” Shiro turned to Keith and Lance. “Lance, your mental health comes before anything else, if you’re not comfortable with this then that’s okay and allowed and we’ll figure out a solution.”

Lance hummed, twiddling his fingers. “Let Keith do his thing. I trust him and torture doesn’t sit right with me.”

It was quiet after that. Like Lance’s word was gospel.

That was the end of the conversation.

* * *

Keith held a plate as he walked down the hallway, turning into one of the rooms to find Lotor in one of the laser boxes. It had lasers as the walls, and only people with the correct DNA sequences could go through.

Coran was the only one who could set it so people could go through, currently those people were: Allura, Shiro, Coran and Keith. 

White hair moved and looked up at Keith. Lotor sighed and laid back down. “What do you want now?”

“Nothing.” Keith argued, “Why do you think everyone’s up to something? I’m bringing you food.”

“It’s poisoned.”

“What? No! Why would we want to kill you? You’re leverage over Zarkon.”

“Okay, sure.” Lotor sat up, his legs crossed. His hair was scraggy at best, with clumps of dirt in it. Keith wrinkled up his nose. “What now?”

“You look awful,” Keith said.

“It’s almost like I’m locked in a cell and it’s almost like someone hit me until I got knocked out.”

“Okay, fair,” Keith walked through the laser, and all it felt was weirdly hot. He set the plate down and took a few steps backwards, breaking back through the laser wall as Lotor stared down at the plate. “Please eat. Starving isn’t comfortable.”

“What do you know about starving? You live in a castle where there’s unlimited food.”

“I didn’t,” is all Keith said, before turning around. “Please eat.”

When Keith came back later to get the plate, it hadn’t been touched. 

All Lotor did was push the plate towards him.

* * *

“How does someone hold a sword that wrong?”

“I’m right-handed, you’re trying to make me hold it in my left,” Lance snapped, throwing his sword at the ground. 

“You make me shoot how you do. Also, knowing how to use a sword with both hands will come in useful,” Keith grabbed his bayard in his right hand and put his left behind his back. “You’re already a good swordsman, fight with your left.”

“Come on,” Lance groaned and Keith resisted the urge to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Lance reluctantly picked his sword off the floor and stuck his right hand behind his back. “I can’t fight with my left.”

“No time like the present,” Keith started circling, watching Lance’s stance and posture, it was good. Even if there was more weight on his front foot, so if Keith knocked that out Lance would be off balance.

Something no one ever fought about in fights, was making it look like you had complete control. Keith was able to take about anyone, and the key to that was making it look like he knew exactly what he was going to do and exactly how to take them down.

He’d told Lance this.

Lance didn’t have to be the best swordsman in the world.

He had to be the smartest.

Well… second smartest.

Keith struck out with an echoing blow which Lance blocked easily, before Keith started an onslaught of attacks, spinning and each hit getting harder and harder as Lance’s blocking got better and better.

Until eventually everything around him was blurry, and the only thing in focus was Lance as he ducked out of the way, dodging and weaving in a way that looked so natural. Lance looked like he’d been fighting his entire life with a sword.

“I’m a damn good teacher,” Keith panted out, as there was a loud echoing crash and Lance struggled against the blow of the sword. Before pushing them to the side, before Lance went for it.

With a large arc Lance swung. Keith didn’t even think about what he did.

Instead, he ran at Lance, getting close enough that the sword wouldn’t hit him

He scrambled to pull out the purple dagger on his waist. Pointing that at Lance’s throat as Lance’s eyes shot wide and he dropped his sword. Putting his hands up in a false surrender and all Keith did was raise an eyebrow.

Pointing it as Lance walked backwards, his hands up in the air. But he was smiling like Keith didn’t have a knife pointed at his neck. Which was very creepy and he didn’t want to think about it too much.

“I had you on the ropes,” Lance grinned as Keith rolled his eyes. Until Lance was up against a wall. 

“Clearly.”

“Yup. Now. If you didn’t point that at my throat, that would be lovely.”

“It would.”

Keith didn’t move the knife. Lance frowned.

“Keithers, buddy, my man—” Lance started and Keith put his dagger back on his belt for a second.

In return Lance snatched it off his waist, and held it up so that Keith had to jump to get it, Lance was only a couple inches taller and he was always doing this so Keith had to tackle him. Lance looked up at it, tilting his head and squinting. “Isn’t that The Blade’s symbol?”

“Huh?”   
  


“Lulio has a knife like this.”

“You talk to him still?”

“Yeah!” Lance grinned, “Trying to set some roots at Marmora, we’ll need them eventually. This is The Blade of Marmora’s symbol.”

Keith jumped, snatching his knife out of Lance’s hands and looking at the symbol on the hilt. “Holy shit, that’s the blade’s symbol.”

“I just said that,” Lance muttered.

“No! It means that my mother’s a blade member.”

“What?” Lance snatched the knife back. “It doesn’t—”

“It does! There’s no other explanation. If she was a Galra officer why would she have a Marmora knife? And if she was just some Galra living her best life why would she be on Earth? She’s a blade member.”

“Holy shit,” Lance muttered. “Holy shit!”

“I know!” Keith grinned. “My mother isn’t a murdering psychopath!”

“We’re calling Lulio right now,” Lance started walking and Keith followed after him. 

Keith hadn’t walked so fast in his life.

In maybe thirty seconds, they were on the control deck. Lance grinning and Keith couldn’t help but feel the same way.

On the control deck a screen came up and Lance scrolled for a bit, before apparently finding what he wanted and clicking. It rang a few times before Lulio’s face popped up on the screen. Smiling widely, and in The Blade uniform, the hood still on his face.

“Lance!” Lulio grinned, “Hey!”

“Important,” Lance snatched the knife out of Keith’s hands. “Blade knife?”   
  


Lulio squinted. “Where did you get that from? If a knife has gone missing I need to report it—”

“It’s Keith’s stupid,” Lance handed the knife back to Lulio and jumped up and down. “His mother’s a member.”

“Woah, woah, hold up. Keith… Keith The Red Paladin—”

“Black Paladin,” Lance corrected.

“Keith The Black Paladin… is Galra?”

“Half.” Keith added. “How do I find out who she is?”

“Um,” Lulio hummed. “Without doing the trials… or joining.”

Keith sighed, of course he was going to have to jump through every hoop possible to get his answer on who his mother was. Whatever. He didn’t care that much, sure, it would’ve been nice, to know who he really was.

“I’ve lived this long without knowing her,” Keith put his knife back on his belt. “I don’t care.”

“Keith—” Lulio started.

“I don’t care. She can rot for all I care, I’m a paladin, my face is plastered on everything. There is no way she doesn’t know that I exist. If she doesn’t find me, I’m not finding her.” He crossed his arms and sighed. 

“Keith… you’ll regret never knowing,” Lulio’s voice was soft enough that Keith wanted to reach through the screen and strangle him. “I— my mum, Amori,” Lulio took a deep breath. “She’s gone and there’s so much I don’t know about her and— I miss her, and I’d give anything to be with her again.”

“Amori didn’t leave you,” Keith snapped.

“She did, she died, leaving me here. She left me. She didn’t have a choice!” Lulio yelled before closing his eyes. “If you can find her… find her.”

Keith didn’t say anything, instead crossing his arms and glaring. As Lance grinned widely at the screen. 

“Lovely chat!” Lance clapped his hands together, “I’ll talk to you later Lio.”

“Remember, if you ever need political protection. Either of you, Dubaxian weddings are great… out of curiosity can you bear children?”

“No!” Lance squeaked, “We can’t.”

“Shame… they’d be some cute children.”

“Stop flirting with us and do your job,” Keith snapped. Before hanging up. 

Lance stared at him before laughing loudly and Keith couldn’t help but smile with him.

* * *

The next plate Keith brought remained untouched. Instead of taking it and leaving Keith picked up the plate and stepped into the laser box. Sitting down and resting the plate on his lap, starting to pick at some of the food.

“What was living with Zarkon like?” Keith asked and Lotor froze.

“You won’t get information from me.”

“I’m not asking for information. I want to know what living with Zarkon was like for you.”

“Quiet,” Lotor’s voice was emotionless, probably forced to be that way, and that word in itself had a thousand stories jammed into it. “Just. Quiet. Until it wasn’t.”

And that was really what growing up for Keith was like. He was alone until he wasn’t, and when he wasn’t alone he was rarely safe. All Keith did was nod, understanding more than he thought he would.

Keith nodded, “When I was little it was quiet. Then it wasn’t and everything was too loud.” Keith offered the plate towards Lotor, shoving a potato or the equivalent into his mouth as Lotor took a piece of meat. “I really wish it was quiet.”

Lotor nodded, and Keith held the plate forwards and Lotor took the plate out of Keith’s hands and started eating himself. Keith sat there, tugging on some of the stitching in his sleeve. Before Lotor set the plate down between them.

He was eating. 

That was a start.

* * *

“Pidge…” Lance looked up at the roof, a million thoughts swimming in his head. “Maybe I should step down. I can’t pick up swords as fast as Keith can pick up shooting, and I’m not as good as him and—”

“Lance.” Pidge said firmly, looking up from the headsets that she was working on. Something about a non-painful way to get into people’s memories and find out information without torture. 

Allura had put Pidge up to it and Pidge had looked forward to the challenge.

“We want you on the team. Not because you’re Lance The Sharpshooter, because you’re Lance McClain. I couldn’t care less if you were a rubbish fighter and didn’t know the barrel of a gun from…”

“The grip?” Lance suggested and Pidge snapped her fingers.

“The grip. Okay, you’re our friend and you don’t always need to be the most competent or the smartest or the bravest, you’re here and we care.”

Lance smiled.

“Lotor, or anyone, can’t take away what makes us love you. We love you because you’re you, we don’t love you because you can shoot all fancy. Anyone can learn to shoot, no one else can be you.”

“Thanks Pidge,” Lance wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “Thank you.”

Pidge put the headset down and wrapped her arms around Lance’s stomach. “We love you dipshit. When you can shoot and especially when you can’t.”

“I love you too,” Lance hugged Pidge a bit tighter and Pidge hugged him back twice as hard. “I’m proud of you Pidgeon.”

“We were having a moment,” Pidge sighed, “And you murdered that like Lulio murdered your heterosexuality.”

“God,” Keith muttered, and Lance jumped. “I’d let Lulio murder me.”

Pidge and Lance stared at him, Keith apparently realised what he said out loud and muttered something under his breath, and he was turning red very quickly. Lance sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Keith. That’s my ex.”

“He’s hot!” Keith yelled, “Like holy shit, maybe I will take him up on that marriage offer.”

“What?” Lance shrieked, “He’s attractive, but he’s not that attractive!”

“Is so! Have you met a guy more attractive than him?” Keith yelled back.

“Um… Shiro!”

“Wha’ abou’ me?” Came a voice and Lance turned around to see Shiro with half a snack bar in his mouth, looking like a mess. “Are ya bein’ weir’ Lance?”

“Yes,” Pidge and Keith chorused. “He says you’re more attractive than Lulio.”

Shiro furrowed his brows for a moment, before holding a hand to his chest. Looking quite offended about it. “I am way more attractive than Lulio. Betrayed, by my own blood.”

Keith sighed, before looking at Lance. “But what Pidge said before is right, we all love you because you’re Lance McClain not because your The Red Paladin or our shooter.”

Lance smiled. “Thanks Keith… that means a lot.”

“You’re okay,” Shiro said, but he was smiling so widely that Lance knew that Shiro was mucking around. “A solid six out of ten. Seriously Lance, we all love you and we all want you here. Especially if you’re the only one who thinks I’m more attractive than Lulio.”

Lance gave a mock salute and Shiro saluted back.

Before the pair of them both burst out laughing.

* * *

Keith set down the plate, before stepping inside. Feeling the warmth until he didn’t, sitting down in front of Lotor who picked up the plate straight away.

“Shiro didn’t let me bring a fork. Sorry.”   
  


Lotor didn’t say anything, instead he ate. When he eventually finished he put the plate down on the ground and Keith left it there. 

“Do you know who your mother is?” Keith asked and Lotor looked up at him in surprise, a split second reaction, one that Lotor wasn’t able to suppress in time. “Because… I don’t and… I dunno, I want to know who she is but she failed me and gave me so many trust issues.”

Lotor nodded understandingly. “I do not know who my mother is. My… father never told me, I asked. But he never… said anything about it and sometimes I’m not sure if anyone would ever fall in love with my father.”

Keith smiled, “I don’t believe my dad fell in love with someone who was just going to leave. I used to think my mum was some great person who was off trying to get a better life for me and Dad. I don’t think she is. I don’t think she’d ever go back to Earth.”

“Earth?”

“My planet. I didn’t like it much. There was nothing there for me, sometimes I think I was meant to be in the stars.”

“Being in the stars isn’t a bad place to be.”

“I suppose it isn’t,” Keith fidgeted with the hemming on the sleeve of his jacket. “But I’d rather have my feet on the ground, something permanent, something constant.”

“Permanency is a falsehood.”

“Permanency is a promise. It’s that someone will remember you, or be there with you time and time again,” Keith pulled his jacket around him, trying to get slightly warmer in the cold temperature of the laser box. “I just want something that will outlive me. I want someone to remember me.”

“History has thousands of names. One day no one will remember you.”

“It’s a nice thought,” Keith replied, hugging his knees to his chest. “That even long after I’m gone I mean something to someone, I’m something permanent in their lives.”

“It's a foolish thought.”

“Maybe… but I’m known for being a bit foolish sometimes,” Keith grabbed the plate and stood up. Giving Lotor a small smile. “Thank you.”

“What?”

“Thank you.”

“What— does that mean?” Lotor asked and Keith just gave another small, sad smile.

“That I’m grateful for you being here.”

And Keith left, holding the plate in one hand and let the silence surround him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your comments about this chapter! A lot happens in a short span of time. Tell me any opinions in the comments (if you want to I suppose!)
> 
> I have been meaning to say it for so long. But 'You Need To Let Go' has some art! It's [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27315712) and I think it's okay!
> 
> (Scroll to the bottom to see the art, if I get anymore art or do a lot of art for this series I'll put it into an artbook or something. IDK dude.)


	3. memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C.W / Trigger Warnings. This one's a lot.
> 
> \- Talk of drugs and alcohol (just passing lines, not alcoholism or anything, they just mention it as something Keith hadn't done.
> 
> \- Talk of sex. Nothing else, but someone admits they're not a virgin. That's it.
> 
> \- ABUSE! AND PROBABLY GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE! Basically Zarkon's an ass, also manipulation or manipulative behaviour towards a small child.
> 
> Please, please, please be careful. This chapter can be a lot and if you think that then stop reading and stay safe!
> 
> However, enjoy.

“How do you ask someone on a date?” Hunk asked and was met with several pairs of eyes. Keith’s included.

“What?” Lance all but screeched, flinging himself onto Hunk’s lap. “Are you finally asking Shay out on a date? Am I finally free of you ranting about her smile or the way she speaks or how watching the sunset was the best day of your life apart from the time that your Ma made a potato salad which hit harder than a chancla.”

“Like you’re one to talk,” Pidge muttered, finally looking up at her book. Before looking at Shiro. “Tell him how to ask someone out.”

“How would I know?” Shiro defended, pausing the video and craning around.

“You were engaged.” Pidge yelled, “That’s like almost max romance level.”

“Shiro never asked his fiance out,” Keith deadpanned, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “They would just hang out sometimes and do…” he shuddered, “Who knows, until he accidentally said they were dating while I was pestering them and then boom. Love.”

“That…” Allura started, looking at Coran. “Is pathetic.”

“I didn’t even propose,” Shiro complained, “When he proposed I looked at him and said, ‘are you talking to me?’ And he threw the ring at me and said, ‘why the fuck am I in love with you? It was a disaster.”

“I was there,” Keith added, “It was a disaster.”

Pidge, Hunk, Allura and Coran were quiet for a long moment. That stretched for longer than it really needed to. Before Pidge stood up. “You were engaged to a guy?” And Keith winced at the noise.

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Pidge sat back down, crossing her legs. “Just checking.”

Keith snorted.

“Anyway,” Lance said, still in Hunk’s lap. “Back onto Hunk’s problem. Asking out Shay.”

“In Altea you’d sing a song,” Allura added, “And you’d do a dance, it was so beautiful.”

“Won’t really work here,” Pidge said, “One. Hunk dances like a chicken having a seizure.”

“Thanks Pidge,” Hunk muttered.

“Second of all, dancing is not a custom on Earth, even if Hunk does the fancy little dancey Shay won’t know what that means,” Pidge sighed, leaning up against Keith. “Lance. What would you do?”

“Flowers maybe. Just saying it? I’ve never really dated anyone, I have no clue what I’m doing.”

“What the fuck is Lulio?” Pidge asked, “Just some boy-toy?”

“I mean… kinda?” Lance said, “We made-out like once and we flirted a bit and he’s my friend now. I’ve kissed people, but I haven’t dated any. If I did want to date someone, or ask them… I’d overthink it and then get really scared and just say that I wanted to date them.”

“On Altea,” Coran smiled, a wistful smile which almost hurt Keith to have to watch. “Before Allura’s day, you used to give them a sprig of Lacoopa, which is what I believe is like one of your Earth flowers, it means devotion. It used to mean everlasting love and then young people would give them to their partners and break up a few days later,” Coran laughed and Shiro snorted a bit too loudly, “So it turned into devotion and love, rather than a promise for forever. I’d perhaps learn flower symbolism on Shay’s planet and give her those flowers… then I’d say something.”

“Okay,” Lance clapped. “Everyone’s had their say.”

“What about me?” Keith snapped. “Am I invisible.”

“Keith, buddy, my man, I’m not sure if you know what the word romance means,” Lance said and Hunk nodded. “I’m not sure if you’ve ever touched someone with romantic intent in mind.”

Keith looked around for a long moment, and even Shiro looked like he agreed on this one. Shiro had seen him date several people at The Garrison and now he was betraying him like this, the audacity of this bitch.

“Shiro cover your ears,” Keith said, before looking at Pidge. “You too.”

“What why?” Pidge asked, “I’m an adult!”

“Fine, I’ll take a PG approach,” Keith sighed, clapping his hands together. “Do y’all know what knockin’ boots mean.”

“No?”

“Right. So how much experience do y’all reckon I have with love and whatever.”

“I say you’ve never kissed a boy,” Lance said.

“Never dated one.” Pidge added, “Because you’re too objectively attractive to not have been kissed.”

Hunk shrugged, and Allura shrugged to.

“I can answer this,” Shiro grinned. “He’s dated and kissed people but nothing more.”

“Sure,” Keith snorted, “Whatever you think Shiro.”

“Wait…” Lance said, “You’ve done something more!”

“Of course I have,” Keith snapped, “There’s only so long you can trace Blue’s energy, and there was a town nearish enough.”

Shiro fell off the couch. “Keith Akira Kogane!”

“I’m eighteen!” Keith yelled, “Don’t control my life!”

“You’re not a virgin?”

“No! Neither are you.”

“I was engaged!” Shiro yelled.

“I heard from Adam what you were doing when you were sixteen, don’t patronise me.”

Shiro shuddered, “You’re supposed to be better.”

“You were smoking weed every second day when you were my age, sit down.” Keith snapped and Pidge made a gasping noise. 

Shiro crossed his arms, and got back onto the couch, glaring at Keith.

“What poor person was desperate enough to have sex with you?” Pidge asked, and was met with several stares and Keith felt slightly offended. 

“Person?”

“You’ve had sex with more than one person!” Shiro shrieked, throwing a pillow. “No. Unacceptable. Leave. I’m disowning you.” He threw another pillow which got Keith in the face and he fell back onto the couch. “This is why God doesn’t love you.”

“You’re not Christian!”

“I’m converting. You filthy sinner!”

“You’ve done worse!” Keith yelled, “You first got drunk when you were… fourteen. I have never had drugs.”

“They were for my muscle spasms.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Keith sighed, glaring a bit harder, remembering some of the stories that Adam had told him for blackmail purposes. 

“They were! How else did I not get pulled up by The Garrison?”

“Because you were the best fighter pilot to ever go through,” Keith snapped, crossing his arms and glaring a little bit more. “Nevermind. Stop being a hypocrite, I was eighteen, everything was legal and consensual and no one was drunk.”

Shiro huffed. 

Keith huffed.

“Um…” Lance looked between the pair. “That’s great Keith, but it wasn’t the question—”

“Do the flower thing, then take her on a date, you can hide the date as just hanging out. But tell her how you feel, probably around a sunset or something and if she doesn’t reciprocate that’s okay and say that you want to stay as friends because you still care about her.” Keith said. “There. Does that answer your question?”

Hunk nodded a few times and Keith crossed his arms, huffing again. “Shiro, stop glaring at me.”

“You’re my baby brother, I’ll glare all I want.”

“I want you to stop glaring at me,” Keith snapped. Standing up he took a plate off the table. “Fuck the lotta ya!” He yelled, “This is why ya Mama’s never loved y’all. Also, I’ve called dibs on the last snackbar! Eat it and I’ll pitch a hissy fit.”

“What the quiznack?” He heard Allura whisper, “What do any of these words mean?

Keith glared, holding the plate a bit tighter, as he walked down the hallway that led to Lotor’s cell. He heard footsteps, loud and turned around, to see Lance barrelling at him with a few books in his arms.

“Books!” Lance grinned.

“I can see that.”

“A gift.”

“For?”

“Well— Lotor,” Lance’s voice went quiet on Lotor, “It must be kinda boring… so…” he looked down at the books in his arms. “Here.”

“You can come deliver them if you’d like to,” Keith said and Lance shook his head, passing the books over to Keith. “That’s okay, I’ll tell him they were from you.”

“Thanks,” Lance gave a small smile, “I’ll meet you on the training deck.”

Keith nodded, “You better be practising with your left hand.”

“Fuck off,” Lance muttered, “You better be… I dunno, doing something.”

“Great insult!” Keith yelled back as he started walking away, “I’m going to need a pod for that sick burn.”

“This is why you’ll die alone.”

Keith ignored him, instead walking down the hallway, down to the cells instead

Balancing the books and the meal in his arms, he turned the corner and was surrounded by a split second of warmth before he peered over his books to see Lotor looking at him, an eyebrow raised.

“Hey,” Keith said, trying to put the books and plate on the ground. He eventually managed and sat across from Lotor. Pushing the books over, with the plate on top. “I managed to get you a fork this time.”

Lotor didn’t say anything, instead stabbing the food. Eyeing the books cautiously as he nudged them out of the way. “What are these for?” He gestured at the books with his fork.

“They’re from Lance,” Keith said and noticed the way that Lotor froze up. Okay. He could work with that. “He didn’t want you to be bored.”

“How is he?” Lotor asked, and it would’ve been casual if it didn’t sound like the words themselves were bringing him actual pain as he gritted them out. Okay. That was also getting noted for when there was inevitably another argument about Lotor.

Keith shrugged with one shoulder. “Nerve damage. It won’t heal.”

“Oh.”

“He can’t shoot. Not like how he used to.”

“I know,” Lotor muttered, “That was my intention.” He stabbed another piece of food more aggressively than he had to. 

“Why?” Keith asked and Lotor’s eyes shot from his plate up to Keith. “I don’t believe you have any personal vendetta against the paladins and you’ve captured Lance before, if you were acting by yourself you would’ve done it then.”

Lotor didn’t say anything.

“Why does Zarkon want Lance’s shooting taken out?”

“He doesn’t.”

“What?” Keith asked, and Lotor looked back down at his plate. “Don’t ignore me, what do you mean? You need to tell me, Lance can’t get hurt—”

“He won’t.”

“Tell me!” Keith all-but yelled, “I can’t— he— he can’t— get hurt. So please tell me if Zarkon has a plan to hurt him or anyone on the team, please. I don’t want them getting hurt.”

“He had a plan,” Lotor pushed what was probably a vegetable around his plate. “He shouldn’t anymore. The plan relied on me and—” he waved the fork around, “I’m not exactly carrying out the plan right now.”

Keith tilted his head, squinting slightly. “Okay.”

“That’s it?” Lotor asked, “You trust my word?”

“Not really,” Keith shrugged and Lotor looked at him, obviously trying to dissect what was happening. “But if it isn’t and one of the others get hurt, then you’ll regret not telling me. I promise you that.”

“So you’re protective then?” Lotor managed in the flattest tone possible, “Wow, wouldn’t have pegged you for the type.” He added and Keith rolled his eyes.

“The Galra in me,” Keith said, “Also because these are some of the first people I’ve cared about and if anything bad happens to them— I’m going to— do something.”

“Very vivid details,” Lotor deadpanned. “I can practically see it.”

“Clearly, can’t you hear the sounds of screaming?”

“As clear as a night sky. Something. I am  _ terrified _ . Now I know better to mess with Voltron.” Lotor added, his voice as flat as ever and Keith smiled. “You’re a half breed, right?”

“I— yeah,” Keith sighed, “I’m— yeah.”

“Me too,” Lotor said and that threw a spanner in the works. “There’s a lot of power in being a half breed. And… you need to embrace that… and come to peace with that. It’s not a warring thing, it’s two things coming together to make you.”

“Feels like it,” Keith muttered, “My eyes glow in the dark. It terrifies the others, and I’ll just be on a counter eating a snack bar.”

Lotor nodded, “It’s… hard. People hate you for being Galra, or they hate you for not being Galra enough, you can’t win,” Lotor sighed. “It’s difficult, but it’s amazing and you might hate it but it’s nothing to hate over, and people who really care about you won’t even see you as… Galra or… anything, they see you as yourself.”

Keith nodded, rubbing at his eyes because Lance had made him an emotional fuck. “Thanks.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t think you’re all that bad Lotor.”

Lotor didn’t say anything. 

It was quiet for a long moment and neither of them said anything.

“Stop justifying my actions,” Lotor said.

“Huh?”

“I am my own person, I make my own decisions. No one else makes me do anything.”

Keith didn’t say anything, instead standing up slowly. Leaving the books and the plate on the floor. “I need the fork,” he held out his hand and Lotor handed the fork back. Keith sighed, “You’re not evil for wanting to be safe.”

“Aren’t I? What makes me better than Zarkon?”

“There’s a difference between wanting to do something and needing to do something,” Keith said for what felt like the millionth time. “Another thing, love isn’t conditional.”

“What?”

“Anyone who only loves you after you do something for them, or when you need to hide aspects of yourself in order for them to love you… they’re not worth it. Love, real love… every type of real love isn’t conditional.”

Lotor didn’t say anything.

“And being a better person shouldn’t make someone love you. That’s not what love is.” Keith looked at Lotor, who frankly, looked like a huge mess. “If Zarkon doesn’t love you now, he’s not going to really love you after you do whatever you were supposed to do.”

Keith stepped out of the laser cell, just before Lotor could throw a book at him. It bounced off the laser wall and hit Lotor in the forehead with a thump that was both satisfying and made Keith laugh a small bit.

Before he went down the hallway, off to find Lance.

Pidge was sitting in the hallway. Hunched over a laptop, tapping furiously. “Pidge?” Pidge looked up at Keith, and frowned. “What are you doing?”

“I have two answers prepared. Which one would you like?”

“Both.”

“Either making those interrogation helmet things, which feels more invasive than torture… but Allura is terrifying when it comes to Lotor,” Pidge glanced back down at her computer, furrowing her brows before humming. “Or… looking for Matt and Dad.”

“You do realise it’s not the middle of the night?”

“Time is a social construct, I don’t need sleep.”

“I could argue against that,” Keith sat down next to Pidge, peering over at her laptop to see a mess of codes and letters that made Keith stare for a long moment. “That is not English.”

“It is,” Pidge’s answer was clipped. That was for sure. 

“Pidge, when was the last time you slept.”

“Three days ago,” Pidge muttered. “But I’m so close to finding Matt—”

“No,” Keith said, “Even if you find them right now, you’re exhausted,” he looked at Pidge. “You need to go to sleep Pidge.”

“It’s fine, I need to find them.”

“We will,” Keith argued.

“No!” Pidge yelled. “You don’t get it Keith, just because you have no one aside from us doesn’t mean that you’re all I have. I have a real family and you don’t get that!” She slammed her laptop closed. There was that problem gone then. “You don’t have a family! So stop pretending that you get it because you don’t!”

Maybe a while ago Keith would yell back.

Maybe a few months ago even, he would’ve just ran out.

“I know,” Keith said softly, “And I know you want to find them, but I know that they wouldn’t want to see you tearing yourself apart for them, I don’t want to see you tear yourself apart for them and I’m not your real family, but I care about you Pidge.” He picked the laptop up and held it to his chest. “And I know it hurts, I lost Shiro… and it hurts… it hurts a lot, but looking back I realise. Shiro wouldn’t have wanted me to do half the shit I did when he went missing… I basically tore myself apart and that’s not what he wanted.”

Pidge sniffed, tears streaming down her face, “I need to find them, Keith, I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t and yes, Voltron is important but— I miss them! I miss them everyday, and it’s not like Hunk and Lance because they’re not just in reach. On any planet, I could run into them! They’re not planets away, and unattainable, they’re so close and I can’t—” she took a deep breath, more tears streaming down her face.

“I want my dad!” Pidge cried, “And I know that’s a baby thing to say but I want my dad and my mum and Matt, I want them all! I want to laugh at Bae Bae doing dumb tricks, I want my family back.”

Keith nodded.

“Sometimes I forget about them,” Pidge said, quietly now, like this was supposed to be something she was taking to the grave. “I forget that Matt and Dad are missing and that Mum is on Earth because I love the team! I love Voltron and I love you all, I love talking about conspiracies and Shiro teaching me hand-to-hand and Lance trying to teach me how to shoot but I’m hopeless at it.”

Pidge sniffed again, “It feels like I’m replacing them, and that feels like the end… like I’m moving on. Like they’re—” she sniffed and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. “Like they’re gone and— maybe they are!”

Keith threw his arms around Pidge before Pidge could say anything else, hugging her to his chest the way that Shiro used to hug him. Saying nothing, because nothing could be said, just rubbing her back as she cried into his shirt.

He wanted to say something, something that would relax her straight away, or perhaps make her feel better, but Keith didn’t know what that was, he wasn’t Lance. All he could do was be there for her.

Pidge had her fists balled in Keith’s shirt, and was crying like there was no tomorrow and Keith was getting seriously worried about her hydration and salt levels if she kept going like this.

However, those could be fixed later. This needed to happen now.

When Pidge eventually looked up, she was a mess, with snot everywhere, her face puffy and red and tears still rolling down her cheeks. It was not a pretty sight. But Keith didn’t care. He’d gotten worse than snot on his shirt, at least it wasn’t blood.

“It’s okay,” Keith whispered, “It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“I know, but it’ll be okay,” Keith said back, hugging Pidge a little bit harder as she cried. “Okay. It might not be okay, they could be gone. But if they’re anything like you I know they’re alive.”

Pidge sniffed.

“And for what it’s worth,” Keith said, hugging Pidge like it was the last thing he’d be able to do. “If we defeat Zarkon and the Galra empire falls and we haven’t found your family, I’ll stay here with you until we do.”

“What if we never find them?”

“Then… you better be prepared to spend a lot of time with me,” Keith said, before letting her go, and smoothing her hair down. “Okay?”

Pidge nodded.

“Hey Keith—” Lance walked around the corner. “What the fuck did you do Keith?”

“Nothing!” Pidge yelled, scrubbing at her eyes furiously. “Nothing, I promise. Just— sad y’know.”

“Oh Pidge,” Lance’s voice was so kind and caring that Keith wanted to explode. He sat down next to her, throwing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side. “It’s okay, it might not feel like it, but it will be okay.”

Pidge snorted, “You and Keith have very different comforting methods.” Keith laughed and Lance nodded. “I like them both.” She leant into Lance more as he played with a stray bit of hair. “Thank you.”

Keith went to get up and Pidge shot up, grabbing his wrist. “I didn’t mean anything I said— you do have a family, that wasn’t right of me to say.”

“I know, I also know you didn’t mean it,” Keith smiled, ruffling Pidge’s hair for no reason apart from that he could. “I need to talk to Allura and Shiro.”

“You’re going to argue,” Pidge sighed, looking up at Keith with the wide puppy-dog eyes that Keith didn’t have the emotional strength to say no to. “That’s all you do anymore, argue, you argue with Shiro and Allura all the time.”

“He doesn’t argue,” Lance said. “He… gets his point across forcefully.”

“Thanks,” Keith muttered, and looked back at Pidge who had the huge puppy-dog pleading eyes that Keith really was trying to say no to, this mattered. He had some information, no intrusive methods needed. “Fine. Lance and I are going to the training deck, and you’re getting some sleep.”

“Yes _Mum_ ,” she spat, “I will,” she gestured at the laptop on the ground, “I’ll actually go to sleep pinky swear,” she held out her pinky which Keith interlaced with his own and shook on it. “Okay,” Pidge got up, bringing her laptop with her. “Good night guys.”

“It’s the middle of the morning—” Lance started but Keith kicked him in the shin. “Night Pidgeon.”

“Ugh,” Pidge rolled her eyes, before starting down the hallway towards her bedroom. “You two are the worst.”

Keith just laughed, and Lance joined in, making Pidge flip the pair of them off.

Eventually when Pidge was gone Lance grabbed Keith by the back of his jacket and started dragging him down the hallway. Keith had just learnt to accept the fact that he got dragged along by Keith.

All the time.

It was like their thing.

Lance eventually stopped outside the training deck. “La-Kua.”

“What?”

“La-Kua,” he said excitedly, “Don’t you get it, La-Kua could heal me.”

“Oh,” Keith said, “Oh!”

“Isn’t this great!” Lance grinned and Keith couldn’t help but feel differently about it, “We go to La-Kua, some guy does some magic thing, and then it’s gone. Just like that. If they can get rid of muscular dystrophy, they can get rid of nerve damage!” He looked at Keith. “Why aren’t you smiling?”

“La-Kua didn’t exactly end well.”

“What?”

“Well… Shiro,” he looked at Lance’s scar on his left cheek, letting his eyes linger there for longer than they should’ve. “And it’ll hurt Lance.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“No, no, not whatever,” Keith crossed his arms. “It  _ hurts  _ and…”

“And what?” Lance crossed his arms. “Don’t think you’re in charge of me because we’re close.”

“I know that dipshit,” Keith argued. “But it could jeopardize Voltron—”

“You bitch!” Lance yelled, he held his hands out in front of him which trembled. “This is jeopardizing Voltron more than getting some person’s Quintessence ever will.”

“Are you sure? Because Shiro’s shaky and he has had his body taken over due to Quintessence!” Keith yelled back, and he’d been doing a lot of yelling recently. “Do you really want that?”

“Why do you care?” Lance yelled back, prodding Keith in the chest. “This is the one thing that could fix me and apparently that’s not good enough. Okay, not everyone can be you, Mister Everything-Goes-Right-For-Me, I have an ugly scar on my face and I can’t shoot and not everyone is perfect at picking up new things!”

“I don’t like seeing you hurt!” Keith yelled back, “Do you want me to tell you that seeing you hurt is probably the most scared I’ve ever been in my life? Because I will, do you want me to say that I hate seeing you hurt, especially when it can be avoided. You’re a good swordsman, you don’t need to hurt to get better at being a paladin.”

Lance took a deep breath, “Look, Keith, I respect your opinion, but shut the fuck up.”

“Okay.”

“No wait— I didn’t—” he facepalmed and Keith raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t mean that— just… I want to shoot, it’s one of my favourite things and Lotor took that away… La-Kua is an answer.”

“Nerve damage can get better,” Keith argued. Which was a flimsy argument for him. “There has to be a better planet…”

“Maybe,” Lance smiled. “Maybe there is. I’ll talk about it with Allura.”

“Okay,” Keith nodded a couple of times before pointing to the training deck. “Wanna go train?”

“Sure.”

* * *

Apparently Lance had mentioned it to Allura, because he found them in the middle of a frantic conversation, about Quintessence and La-Kua, both of them looked straight at him. Allura gave an uneasy smile. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Keith gave a small wave and went into a cupboard. Trying to find the snackbar that he had saved specifically for right now, because Shiro had just sparred with him and now Keith had a huge bruise on his shoulder and a scratch on his hand.

Only a snack bar could fix this.

“What did they mean by my Quintessence is tainted?” Lance asked, “La-Kua can fix anything, that’s their thing—” Keith hummed to himself, as he tore through the cupboard. 

If Shiro ate the snackbar he was going to kill him. It might’ve been Pidge, she was always one to steal his food, especially because he disagreed on The Black Dahlia case, which was a whole situation. But he agreed on the Somerton Man case, so he was even right now—

“I’m not sure.”

—Maybe it was Hunk? Although Hunk could make something better than these trashy snack bars which had the nutrition of a piece of cardboard and tasted like sugar and the future promise of heart problems. Although, sometimes junk food did just hit the spot.

“It is possible,” Allura said, “All of our Quintessence is tainted, from spending time with each other. Small bits of Quintessence can rub off on each other.”

“So it’s that then.”

“Probably.”

Did Lance take the snackbar? It seemed like a Lance move, Keith had bet him with the sparring, not by a lot. But enough that Lance would still probably be mad about it, hence why he ate the snackbar that he’d called dibs on. What a bitch.

“Oi!” Keith yelled, “Lance, did you eat my fuckin’ snackbar?”

“No? I was on La-Kua.”

Keith turned around, “Oh. How’d that go.”

“It didn’t,” Lance crossed his arms. “I’ve picked up bits of everyone’s Quintessence and that apparently fucks with everyone else's, so Allura refused and the healers refused to even touch me.”

“What about Shiro?” Keith put his head back into the cupboard, trying to find the snack bar that he’d pined after for what felt like years.

“His connection collapsed when he got stuck in someone else’s body,” Allura said, “I’m sorry Lance, I thought that La-Kua would work.”

“It’s fine,” Lance said and even though Keith was actually in a cupboard he could tell that Lance was lying and wasn’t even doing a good job of it. “I… tried I suppose. Looks like I’m stuck with this.”

And Keith heard Lance’s footsteps run off, and he got out of the cupboard. Looking at Allura who shook her head softly. “I’ll go,” her voice was gentle. “I have a feeling that you may be at fault here.”

“What?”

“It could be anyone apart from Coran and I,” Allura sighed, “I’ll take care of him.”

“I know you will.”

* * *

Was Lance crying?

Yes.

Was he going to admit that to anyone? 

Absolutely not, why would someone even think that. Instead. Get this, he was going to stay in his room, and cry. And live his best life, and no one was going to come in here and disturb him because surely everyone knew better than to bother with him—

The door slid open.

Lance swore, falling off of his bed, before looking up at Allura. “Hello Lance.”

“Hey, Allura! I was just— admiring. The… floor,” Lance looked down at the floor and Allura raised an eyebrow, before sitting on Lance’s bed, her legs crossed underneath her. Smiling at him.

Lance plopped himself on the bed next to Allura, with a lot less grace and more just general clumsiness as he landed and his bed squeaked. He said nothing for a long moment before Allura cleared her throat.

“I really am sorry, Lance,” Allura gave a sad smile and Lance felt the sadness of her smile in his very bones. “I honestly thought La-Kua would be able to heal this.”

“It’s fine,” Lance mumbled, “It just didn’t feel permanent— until now. And now I’m going to have to learn how to fight all over again, and—” he sighed. “I’m upset. I really— ugh.” He covered his face, feeling tears springing to his eyes. “It didn’t feel like forever. Until it did and now—”

Allura didn’t do anything else, instead hugging Lance. Who buried his face into her neck. Tears streaming without him wanting to, and Allura hugged him tightly. As Lance sobbed, and cried, silently or with all the noise in the world.

Allura didn’t move, she didn’t falter. She just stayed there. Holding Lance, and hugging him like if she let go the world would end. The way Veronica used to hug him tight when no one else was looking, or the way that Rachel hugged him before he went back to The Garrison for his final year.

“It’s the only thing I’m the best at,” he said through the tears, into Allura’s neck, who’s grip on his back tightened.

“You’re good at other things.”

“But not the best,” Lance whispered back. “And everyone has their thing that they’re the best at and that’s gone—”

“Well then,” Allura smiled. “Looks like we’re going to have to make you the best swordsman that this universe has ever seen.” She let go of Lance, a huge smile playing across her face. “Okay? You’re going to… what does Pidge say?”

“Kick some ass.”

“You’re going to kick some ass!” Allura said grinning widely and Lance rubbed at his eyes, trying to get rid of the tears. Before looking at Allura who smiled widely at him, her eyes alight with… something.

* * *

“So then,” Keith said, lying on his back looking up at the roof. “I was having a lot of feelings so I ran off but then they called Lance a freak—”

“No!” Lotor gasped. “That quiznack!”

“Right! So then I punched them. In the face and then apparently that’s considered rude—”

“And people wonder why Galra started taking over places, I can put in a word.”

“Honestly, I’d also be taking over Gyrty,” Keith narrowed his eyes at Lotor. “That’s a joke. Don’t take over Gyrty.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Then Lance held me back, and he used the voice.”

“ _ The  _ voice.”

“Yes!” Keith threw his arms up in the air, “The voice! And he said something like ‘that’s an insult on Earth’, and I don’t think I’ve ever been gayer for someone else in my entire life.”

Lotor nodded. “Understandable.”

“Didn’t expect me to rant about my crush, did’ja?”

“No. Funnily enough, it wasn’t on the list.”

“Shocker.”

“I know.” Lotor deadpanned and Keith rolled his eyes.

There were footsteps, frantic ones at that, and Keith turned around peeking his head out of the laser walls to see Allura storming down the hallway, Shiro, Hunk and Pidge running to keep up with her. Lance walked far enough back that Keith could barely see him.

Allura was a flurry of movement, holding two helmets in her arms. The helmets that Pidge had been working on to interrogate Lotor with— why were there two?

“They’re not done!” Pidge yelled, “Allura, they’re buggy.”

“You think I care?” Allura shot back, still walking as fast as ever as Keith scrambled to get out of the cell. “This has gone on long enough. Let’s see what the son of Zarkon has in his brain.”

Allura grabbed Keith’s hair, shoving the helmet on his head. Before stepping into the laser cell.

“Princess!” Pidge yelled, “You don’t need someone else to have the memories viewed, we can see them anyway—”

Allura forced the helmet onto Lotor’s head, which looked like a difficult feat as Lotor was thrashing around in her grip.

There was a flash of white.

_ Blood on the floor. So much blood. Surrounding a body with lilac skin and white hair. As the legs and feet of someone in a suit walked back and forth in front of him. “You thought you’d get away with it. Didn’t you boy?” _

_ The body on the ground didn’t say anything. Only a small noise that meant he wasn’t dead. _

_ “So tell me. Where are they?” _

_ Lotor, it had to be Lotor. With shorter hair, and blood covering his face, and almost every surface of his skin. Making the lilac that was familiar with Lotor stained a nasty red-brown colour. _

_ He sat up, his hair hanging around his face. “I have never told you and I will never tell you.” He spat some blood to the side and Zarkon… surely it was Zarkon. In a mechanical suit, his face hidden by shadows. “And you’ll never know.” _

“It’s stuck on him!” A voice yelled, Pidge, Pidge’s voice. “We need to get them off and now!”

Another flash of white.

_ A group of people crouched in a ship, a rainbow of Altean marks on their cheeks as Lotor, who looked even younger, his hair shorter, crouched with them, holding a finger to his lips. Someone who looked shockingly like Allura was crouched next to him. _

_ With white hair, brown skin and pink Altean marks. He was looking at Lotor, but Lotor was peering around the corner. “Agedar. Take your people and run.” He looked back at who must’ve been Agedar. Who that was, was a mystery. _

_ “What?” Agedar said, “What happens to you?” _

_ “Nothing of concern,” Lotor said, “Whatever you do. Do not tell me where you’re going.” _

_ “Why?” Agedar asked, “What if we need to contact you?” _

_ “Don’t.” Lotor snapped, grabbing a sword off of the ground. “Do not contact me. My father has people— people who can see into minds. Anything I am told, they can and will also hear.” _

_ Agedar nodded. “I hope to see you again my friend,” is all he said, “Thank you for everything.” _

_ “I am sorry there wasn’t more I could do to help your family,” Lotor said, standing upright. “But you need to run and you need to save your people.” _

_ Then Lotor ducked around the corner. _

“He needs to stop thrashing!” Pidge yelled, “We can’t get these off if he doesn’t stop thrashing! Lance! Hold him down! Shiro! Hold down Lotor! Keith, you need to calm down.”

“How’s he supposed to calm down!” Lance yelled right back at Pidge. “He’s in Lotor’s memories! We’re watching them! He’s in them.”

Another flash of white.

_ The back of a cape. And Lotor, with long hair flowing over his shoulders was on one knee in front of him. His head tilted down at the floor, rather than up at Zarkon, who had to belong to the cape.  _

_ “You find The Blue Paladin. The shooter boy, and you bring him here. He’ll make a mighty fine champion.” _

_ “Is that all Voltron is to you?” Lotor asked, “People to play games with? They have the most powerful weapon ever known, and you’re toying with them?” _

_ “You dare speak back to me!” The voice boomed and Lotor flinched slightly at the voice. “You bring me The Blue Paladin. Do you not understand the leverage we have if we capture him? Or are you completely insolent!” _

_ Lotor didn’t say anything. _

_ “I need a shooter. And he’s one of the best. I do not care if he’s a paladin of Voltron. He must be on this side!” Zarkon turned around finally, lifting up Lotor’s chin with a sword. “Bring him to me. Or else, I’ll throw you in the arena instead.” _

_ “Yes, Emperor Zarkon,” Lotor stood up straight. “I will not let you down.” _

_ “You already have, do not think this will redeem you from the Altean incident. However, I know it won’t happen again. You know the consequences.” _

_ “I do.” Lotor replied, his back to Zarkon. So that the panic on his face was clearly evident, splitting across his features in the clearest display of emotion that Keith had ever seen from Lotor. The footsteps and the silence leaving the room with something that felt uneasy, unnatural. “I know. Polen-Bol.” _

_ “The body must be broken for enlightenment.” Zarkon said, a sly smile on his face that Lotor wasn’t able to see. “And if you get in the way of enlightenment Prince Lotor, then I may have no heir.” _

“Keith,” Lance’s voice was gentle. “I need you to calm down okay? Everything’s okay, something just went wrong. You’re not hurt. I swear. We’re just trying to get the helmet off so this can all stop. Okay?”

“Fucking called it,” Pidge muttered. “Okay, let's get this thing off.”

Another white flash.

_ This Lotor was somehow younger, a small thing, with slicked back white hair. Huge yellow eyes, and the one sprout of hair, shorter and sticking out even more. “Please, Father, I must know who I come from.” _

_ He was met with nothing. Zarkon said nothing, simply looking down at the child, with wide eyes. “Dayak Kattir, take him, he is to go through The Agotian Trials soon, you and the other Dayak’s are to prepare him.” _

_ Another person, with a high hood and shadow covering their face. Slowly looked up from the floor. “Emperor Zarkon, The Agotian Trials aren’t done at this development stage. Prince Lotor isn’t big enough to wear the armour.” _

_ “I do not care,” Zarkon snapped, looking down on Lotor, who stared up with wide, yellow eyes, filling with tears. “Do not cry boy, if you are to rule my empire someday. You can not spend your time and energy on… tears.” _

_ “Yes, father,” Lotor mumbled. Turning around. And a cloaked arm rested on Lotor’s shoulders. _

_ “He does not mean the things he says Prince Lotor, he simply wants the best for you, that is why he pushes you so hard.” _

_ “Literally or figuratively?” Lotor asked, his wide eyes looking up at Dayak Kattir, who was finally showed by the light looking horrified. “That is quite normal for families, right?” _

_ A moment of silence. _

_ “Yes, Prince Lotor, sometimes people who care say and do things that they do not mean. And sometimes, they don’t apologise and that is a fact of life.” _

_ Lotor nodded, wide innocent eyes staring forward as he smiled. And the look on Dayak Kattir was one of horror and concern. _

“Why isn’t it coming off?” Lance asked and Keith felt his head get jerked forward in the helmet. “Also, Zarkon is a fuck head.”

“Zarkon wanted to put you in the arena,” Hunk said breathlessly. “And you focus on that memory as the most horrifying one?”

Another bright of white.

_ It was simple enough. Lotor. Slightly older than the last memory, his hair slightly longer. His clothes were slightly more casual looking. Sitting on a bed, which dipped underneath him, as he flicked through a book. _

_ He barely looked like he was reading it. The casual clothes, contradicting with his posture. Perfect. His back straight and hands perched almost perfectly, like someone else had put him there. _

_ His eyes were basically focused on the door, sometimes looking down at his book. A cloaked figure stood in the doorway, wearing the same robe that Dayak Kattir had worn, but it wasn’t her. This person was taller, more limbs than torso as they stood in the doorway. _

_ Lotor sat up straighter if possible, “Hello. Dayak Arota.” _

_ Dayak Arota, leant against the doorway. And her face wasn’t able to be seen, but there was something smiley about her, something that made her feel happy despite everything. “Wow, you’rra stuck up ain’tcha?” _

_ “Excuse me?” Lotor asked, looking around. “Are you my new Dayak?” _

_ “I am indeed,” she said, “Pleasure ta meetcha Lotor, I’m Dayak Arota, but ya knew that didn’tcha?” _

_ “What happened to Dayak Kattir?” _

_ “Gave ‘er the ol boot.” _

_ “The what?” _

_ “Got ridda her.” _

_ Lotor sat up straighter, “What do you mean got rid of her?” _

_ “I mean she started askin’ too many questions and Zarkon was inna bad mood one day.” Dayak Arota stepped inside and Lotor shook his head, eyes wide. _

_ “No. He didn’t.” _

_ Dayak Arota said nothing and Lotor shot off his bed, going to the door and Dayak Arota held out a cloaked arm as Lotor tried to fight against her. “No! Lotor! “ He fought against the arm, “Ya can’t do that! Whatta ya gonna do ‘bout it? You’rra child!” Lotor eventually stopped fighting.  _

_ Instead staring ahead blankly, sitting on his bed.  _

_ “I’ll see ya tomorrow kid,” she gave a small wave and Lotor didn’t react. _

_ He just stared out, the eyes that had been so wide and filled with innocence were dull and tired, like they’d seen things that he was never supposed to see. _

“Just take it off,” Shiro’s voice was the only calm one. 

“I can’t!” Pidge yelled, “It’s stuck! We need to either break them off, or get a bayard! Shiro! We need to use your arm.”

“Alright. What do I do?” Shiro asked.

A blinding flash which sent Keith’s head spinning.

_ More blood. Covering the walls and floor. As Lotor sat against a wall, holding the wound on his stomach. Wincing slightly, as Zarkon, a figure that was becoming more and more familiar. Walking in front of Lotor. _

_ “You mean.” Zarkon said, “You had a paladin in your grasp and they just were let go— how incompetent are you? You do not deserve the air you breathe!” And like that, he picked up Lotor, by the neck, squeezing so that Lotor started kicking and struggling in his grip.  _

_ Eventually Lotor almost stopped kicking, until he kicked slightly. “... father… please,” He whispered, and Zarkon dropped him to the floor where Lotor landed with a thump, holding himself up and panting. _

_ Zarkon kicked Lotor in the stomach and something cracked, instead of saying anything Lotor winced. Holding his stomach as Zarkon started to walk out, the bottoms of his boots getting covered with blood. _

_ Lotor’s blood. _

_ This scene was too familiar. Too familiar. _

There was a crack and Keith sat up, his stomach rolling over. The helmet was shoved underneath his mouth and with a retching noise he heard the splatter of what he had for breakfast that morning.

Too familiar.

“I—” Keith couldn’t say anymore than that. It was too familiar. Lance was next to him, a hand on his back. Holding the helmet which had a broken strap underneath his mouth as Keith curled over the helmet.

“I know,” Lance said, his hand rubbing circles as Keith gagged. “I know.”

“Too familiar,” Keith repeated one of the only things he was thinking and Lance nodded, “Too—” he was cut off by more vomit and hated the way the splash sounded in the helmet. “I—” he didn’t vomit this time, but he didn’t add anymore.

“Whatever it is, I know.” Lance said and Keith didn’t have the strength to reply with anything apart from a noise and a-half as he hugged the helmet to his chest. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

“I know, I know,” Keith hugged the helmet so tightly he heard something crack. “I’m okay.”

“You’re safe.”

“I’m safe,” Keith repeated and Lance’s arm moved from rubbing circles on his back, to being wrapped around his waist. “God. That was bad.”

“Yeah…” Lance said, “Not on my top ten of things I’d ever like to witness ever again.” Keith nodded, leaning into Lance more than he needed to. 

“Did you see—”

“Like a mind-meld. Showed up on a screen in front of the helmets. So yeah.”

“Oh God—” Keith’s eyes shot wide open, “Zarkon wanted—”

“Yeah,” Lance’s voice was soft. “Hey, I can’t shoot, so even if Lotor—”

Something clicked at the same time for the both of them.

“Dios mio,” Lance muttered, looking directly at Keith. “He did it so—”

“You couldn’t shoot.” Keith finished, “So— Zarkon couldn’t—”

“Holy shit!” Lance said, “Que carajo. que carajo. Que esta pasando! Lotor no es un cabrón,” and Keith knew enough Spanish to know that Lance was swearing like his life depended on it. “Lotor had motives beyond being an asshole.”

“Shocker.” Keith deadpanned. “If only someone told you that… someone who knows what it’s like to be in Lotor’s situation.”

Lance glared at him, and Keith looked away in false innocence.

“I resent you.”

“I know,” Keith muttered, still leaning against Lance. Watching Allura and Coran try to hold down a thrashing Lotor as Pidge held his head. Showing Shiro where he had to hit with his hand to get the helmet off. 

Keith drew his knees up to his chest, and there was a crack, and Pidge pulled off the helmet. Flinging it across the laser-cell room and it hit the ground with another crack. Lotor sat up, a fist flying directly at Allura who flailed and ducked underneath it.

It was quiet for a long moment.

“What the fuck was that Allura?” Keith said, his voice bordering on hysterical. “What the fuck? You just—” he waved his arms about a little bit frantically. “There is no explanation for that!”

“You weren’t getting anywhere,” Allura argued, “Now I know my brother could be alive, and my people! Alteans could still be out there,” she turned to Lotor. “What do you know?”   
  


“Nothing!” Lance yelled, letting go of Keith and getting in between Allura and Lotor. “He said that, if he knew anything Zarkon would know!” He crossed his arms and glared at Allura, who glared back. “Lotor isn’t a scape-goat for all of your problems.”

“My brother!” Allura yelled, “My brother, Agedar, he could be alive!” Her eyes were shining with tears. “Don’t you understand? He’s my brother—” she turned to Shiro, “What wouldn’t you do for Keith? My brother is—”

“That was wrong,” Hunk’s voice was firm. “There were other ways to do that.”

Allura stared at everyone. “You’re siding with Lotor?”

Lotor had remained oddly silent.

“I’d expect this from Keith,” Allura snapped, “Lotor represents what we’re fighting against.”

Yikes.

Big yikes.

Keith looked at Allura, his eyebrows raised. “Allura, you’re mad, you’re not being rational.”

“My family could be alive!” Allura yelled, straight at Keith.

“And you made two people go through a shitshow to find that out,” Pidge said, “My family might also be alive, but I wouldn’t force faulty helmets onto someone’s heads to try and get their memories. I said that they weren’t done.”

“They worked,” Allura snapped, her arms crossed.

Lance took a deep breath. “Let me get this right? Making someone vomit and making someone else have an involuntary reaction is it working? Allura, we all respect you, a lot, but that was out of line.”

Allura huffed. Turning around and stomping out.

Coran watched as she went, sighing a little bit, “I should stop her from destroying The Castle. It may not be worth anything, but I too think she was out of line.”

“Thanks Coran,” Keith smiled, and Coran went down the hallway.

Keith stood up off the floor, looking at Lotor. Who’s eyes were wide and he was breathing heavily— too heavily for someone who had been out for this long. He looked for a long moment.

Lotor’s hands were balled up, so tightly that the knuckles had gone white. “Lotor?” Keith asked, crouching down to Lotor’s level. His eyes seemed to pass straight through him. “Lotor—” he reached out.

Then was yanked forward, and somehow managed to end up on the ground. Lotor sitting on top of him, not quite seeing him. Shiro went to move and Keith held up a hand. “Lotor? Are you okay?

Lotor didn’t move.

Okay. He could work with this. “Lotor… you’re not there. You’re here in The Castle. Lotor.” Pidge had gone pale, her hand hovering over her bayard and Keith shook his head a few times. “Lotor.”

Somehow, Lotor’s eyes seemed to get less cloudy. He realised what he’d done and got off straight away. Getting into the corner of the room and drawing his knees to his chest. Staring off into the distance. But he was here. He wasn’t somewhere else.

Lance approached Lotor slowly, like how most people would approach an animal and normally Keith would make fun of it, but it seemed justified. “Lotor. Are you okay?”

Lotor didn’t say anything.

“It’s okay y’know, to be scared… we can keep you safe here—”

“You’ve said that!” Lotor yelled, and Pidge’s hand shot to her bayard, which she pointed at Lotor. But Keith knew that no one was going to get hurt. “You say that here’s safe. It’s not! Nowhere is safe! You know how many times I tried to run? Nowhere’s safe, they— he always finds me!”

Keith stepped forward, deciding that this was probably his area of expertise rather than Lance’s. Lance was a sweetheart, but he didn’t really know what was happening, not the nitty-gritty of it. He didn’t know Lotor, which he couldn’t blame Lance for.

“Lotor. He’s an old man in a suit of armour.”

“Ha,” Lotor said, with no emotion. “Do you five really think you can take down…  _ him _ . People braver than you tried to stand against him and guess what happened to them?”

“They’re living long fulfilling lives?” Hunk suggested.

“They had to watch their friends die! One by one and he always kept the leader alive to deal with their own failure. That’ll happen to you! Go home while you can, you can run away from this! Anyone with half a brain would run.”

“Well we’re stupid,” Shiro said, arms crossed tightly. Eyeing Pidge’s bayard. “If other people can’t run, why will we?”   
  


“Being a hero never did anything,” Lotor managed, “Being a hero gets you killed, or your friends killed. I tried to be a hero once and look how that turned out.”

“You might’ve saved Altean culture,” Hunk said.

“I’d say that was pretty successful,” Pidge added, putting her bayard away. “I mean— Allura’s brother might be alive.”

“Agedar,” Lotor said with a soft smile. “He might be.”

“That’s thanks to you,” Hunk smiled, the most supportive smile that Keith had ever seen. “And Lance—”

Lance took a deep breath, “Could you please explain that… the Zarkon thing… with me.”

Lotor nodded, swiping some hair out of his face. Before glancing up at the ceiling, before looking around at the paladins. “He wanted a new champion… and he wanted a shooter to help him with his cause. The plan was to take two paladins, one of them being— well you, and whoever else. As he thought you were loyal and would do whatever to keep whichever paladin.”

Lance nodded, and Keith felt himself put a hand between his shoulder blades, barely realising he was doing it, but he certainly wasn’t going to move his hand. For any reason. Lance glanced at him, but didn’t say anything else.

Lotor's eyes rested on Shrio. "Putting you in the arena would've hurt your leader. He said The Champion would— be weaker."

Shiro scowled but didn't say anything else.

“He said getting you gave more leverage than getting anyone else. I am… not sure why. I heard that you were one of the best shooters, and I suppose he must have heard it too… so he sent me after you.”

“Why?” Lance asked.

“Because you could never succeed,” Keith said, his voice low and Lotor’s eyes shot to him. “It was an impossible task.”

“What?”

“If you could’ve got Lance alone. Which you did. You knew we were coming after him, no matter where we would’ve come after him and we would’ve captured you.”

“That—” Lotor shook his head, “My father is cruel, but he isn’t that cruel.”

“He knew you’d be desperate to try and get a way out of this— he knew that you’d essentially get rid of Lance’s ability to shoot.”

“How would he know that?” Shiro asked, an eyebrow raised. “This alleged plan relies on a lot.”

“It relies on Lotor being a good person,” Lance said, and that answer appeared to shock him. “Think about it, you didn’t want to give me to Zarkon, because Zarkon sucks ass and that gives him a huge advantage over us. And I don’t believe Lotor would subject one of us to Zarkon if he was able to get out of it. Zarkon was relying on that, and hoping that Lotor did something drastic… and he did.”

“Quiznack,” Lotor muttered, looking directly at Lance. “I am so sorry, I—”

“Don’t,” Lance held up a hand. “Just— don’t… wait,” he brightened up, and Keith hadn’t seen Lance look that happy since he’d realised La-Kua was able to heal him… then it wasn’t and Lance fell into another slump. “Aren’t you a God at sword-fighting?”

“I am proficient?” Lotor said, tilting his head.

“Fuck yeah! Keith, you’re not my teacher anymore.”

“What the fuck?” Pidge and Hunk said, “How are you being so chill about this? Zarkon targeted you directly!” Hunk yelled, throwing his arms up in the air. “There’s nothing more direct than sending your son after someone to kidnap you.”

“Oh, I am going to freak out in about two dobashes,” Lance said with a bright smile, “And then I’m not going to be able to sleep for three days. Don’t worry about that.” Keith looked at Lance, who looked happy for now. “Can you please teach me how to sword-fight? Keith is great, but he’s too competitive and since you fucked up my shooting… it’s kinda fair.”

Shiro sighed, “Lance. He’s still a prisoner.”

“What?” Lance groaned, “But— fine. Guess I’ll learn with Keith.”

Lotor blinked once. Then twice. “Is he always like this?”

“Not always,” Hunk said, “But he hasn’t been like this for a long time. Thanks to someone in particular not naming any names.” Hunk looked directly at Lotor who shrunk away. 

“Don’t think we’re forgiving you because you have a tragic backstory and you’re not a complete fuck-up,” Pidge snapped. Crossing her arms and glaring at Lotor who actually shrunk away. “You hurt Lance, and if you hurt him again you are going to wish you were back home with Zarkon.”

“It’s not his home,” Keith added and everyone looked at him. “There’s a whole bunch of psychological— nevermind,” he shook his head and Lotor looked at him for a moment longer.

Hunk crossed his arms. Crouching so he was at Lotor’s height. “You’re so worried about being safe, hurt any of my friends and there really won’t be anywhere that you’re safe.”

“Take that knock-off Loki!” Pidge yelled. “Unlike Loki you’re not Tom Hiddleston.”

“What is happening?” Lotor asked, “What do any of those words mean?”

“Nevermind,” Shiro muttered, shaking his head as Hunk and Pidge walked off backwards, pulling intimidating faces at Lotor, and very graphic examples of what they were going to do to him if he hurt anyone on the team.

When they were out of view Shiro looked at Lotor, “I am sorry for how the team treated you. Apart from Lance and Keith.”

Lotor nodded, “Lance’s reactions are justified.”

Shiro pulled a face, which meant that he respected Lotor that little bit more. Before looking down at Lotor, his arm starting to whir and light up, “Don’t think you’re off the hook, you hurt Lance, and I don’t care if you need to hurt him to save the entire universe. You do not hurt my paladins. Capiche?”

“Yup,” Lotor swallowed.

“In fact, you’re still a prisoner.” Shiro said, “Except now we’re not arguing about torturing you, thank Keith for that, until Lance woke up he was the only voice of reason. I don’t like you, I barely tolerate you and everyone else feels the same, except those memories made me really sad.”

“Right,” Lotor nodded along as Shiro kept talking, because God knows he wasn’t done and he probably wouldn’t be done in the next five minutes.

“Allura resents you, I dislike you… strongly. Hunk and Pidge dislike you and Lance… is… Lance. The only one who tolerates you is Keith. None of us trust you and none of us will ever trust you—”

“Okay,” Lance clapped his hands together. “That’s probably too far Shiro.”

“Don’t think I won’t kill you, one toe outta line, and you’ll wish you were back with Zarkon.”

Keith facepalmed, “That is— that’s not how you talk to a sentient thing.”

“Electrocuting someone until they have permanent nerve damage isn’t how you treat another sentient thing. I think I’m justified here,” Shiro snapped, and Keith shrugged, because he probably was.

“You’re justified,” Lotor said and Shiro raised an eyebrow. "What I did was wrong and I know an apology will not fix it. And you do not need to believe me. But I am sorry."

It was quiet. Shiro nodded, before starting to walk away. "Hurt them," Shiro said, "And you'll find out why I was called The Champion."

Shiro left.

Lotor looked directly at Lance. "I thought that was the only solution. It was not and—"

"Don't," Lance sighed. "Unlike the others I don't need an apology. I get it. Not like how Keith gets it. But I get it."

Lotor gave a small, uncertain nod.

"Allura will come around, she's just— struggling right now. She accepted all other Alteans are dead and now— they could be alive."

Lotor didn't react and Lance sighed. "And coping is hard, it doesn't make it right. She's struggling right now. Just… give her time. She's an amazing person but has her flaws that's for sure."

He nodded again and Lance stood up. "Also. Don't think you won't be teaching Keith and I how to sword fight. I don't care if I break all of Allura's rules."

Lotor smiled, his eyes lighting up almost completely, as he nodded a few times. "I look forward to it."

Lance gave a small wave. "Small question. About Galra, what does biting people do? Like not in a violence way."

Keith facepalmed.

"Because it says it makes both people high but why—"

"Mating." Lotor finished and Lance started sputtering.

"You were going to bite me! Remember?" Lance shrieked, punching Keith in the shoulder. 

"I didn't know that!" Keith yelled back. 

Lance turned around, walking out, muttering something that Keith couldn't quite hear. It went quiet again.

"Well." Lotor said. "That happened."

"Yeah…" Keith's eyes were still on the hallway and he tore them away to look back at Lotor. Who just gave a smile. "Well… at least they won't torture you."

Lotor shrugged, hair moving around his face, brushing a section behind his ear and looking up at the roof.

Then back at Keith, who looked at Lotor with curiosity. "You think you're the first." Lotor's voice was low. "Thousands have tried to rebel against  _ him  _ and none have succeeded. Why do you think you'll be the first?"

"Because…" Keith said, crossing his arms. "We have Voltron and we have each other, even if the universe crumbles in on itself we have each other."

Lotor snorted. "You think the power of love will save the universe from Zarkon?"

"I think love gives us something to fight for. We have that over Zarkon." Keith argued and Lotor looked shocked for a moment.

He closed his eyes for a second, before looking up at Keith, "It is foolish of me to think I am safe here."

"Then be foolish." Keith smiled. "The rest of us are kinda foolish."

"And you'll die horrible deaths."

"I thought I had an emo stage," Keith muttered. "Maybe. Or we'll live fantastic lives, and I'm willing to take that risk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I wrote that.
> 
> Lotor's arc isn't near over my dudes. Just because they all accept his existence and a few of them tolerate it. Next chapter. (Think of this as a summary for next chapter.)
> 
> Allura is salty but curious. Lance is hyped to sword fight, Keith is hyped but slightly grumpier. Pidge is in distress and Shiro is very freaked out.
> 
> Importantly the answer to the question: Does Lance look hot in blue.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed, I'm kinda proud of this one.


	4. truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C.W / Trigger Warnings: Blood. There is quite a lot of blood, swearing, and they talk about sex (again) but that's about all that happens.
> 
> As always, please stay careful. I slammed this out in about four hours, so it's a bit dodgy. But I like it enough.

Keith rolled over again, his blankets rustling as he tried to get comfortable again. Then rolling over again about five seconds later, before huffing and throwing himself back on the bed. 

He couldn’t sleep. Which wasn’t an unusual thing for him, but normally he did something. Went to train, watched footage of however stole whatever Keith had been planning on eating. It was almost always Pidge.

“Ugh.” Keith groaned, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. 

A knock startled him, and Keith fell out of the bed with a thump. “Come in,” Keith said, deciding that he was sleeping on the floor instead. Wrapping the blanket around him and sighing.

“Dude…” that was Lance, and Keith turned his head so he was looking straight up at Lance. “Why are you on the floor?”

Keith clambered back onto his bed, with about the same grace of a chicken. “What’s wrong?”

Lance looked away for a split-second, before looking back at Keith. “I’m kinda freaking out,” Lance said, already talking very fast and Keith had a feeling that it was only going to get faster. “Because we both saw that Zarkon wanted me specifically, and that’s kinda terrifying, because why does Zarkon want me? Is he going to keep targeting me? Is this why I always get captured, because everyone’s trying to capture me and what if Zarkon does get his hands on me, what happens then? Because it’s a deathtrap for anyone to come save me so I’m just there on my own and judging by what Zarkon did to Lotor… his own son, what would he do to me and I can’t sleep because I keep freaking out about Zarkon capturing me or any of you guys and I’m terrified.”

Keith was pretty sure Lance said that in one breath and he stared at Lance for a long moment, before patting the bed next to him and Lance sat down. Folding over himself, hugging his stomach around the middle as Keith just looked at him.

“Zarkon isn't going to touch you.” Keith said.

“He’s Zarkon, I think he can do whatever the hell he wants,” Lance sighed, looking up at Keith, his eyes glassy and filled with tears. Tears that Keith wanted to get rid of. “I’m just… scared.”

Keith wrapped his blanket around the pair of them, forcing them to bump shoulders, as he turned the pair of them into burritos. “Nothing will happen,” Keith said, glad he sounded more certain than he felt. “I promise.”

“I’m not a kid, you can’t promise that.”

“Fine,” Keith said, “I promise that I will do everything I can to make sure you get home. That’s a better promise.”

“Not really,” Lance leant against Keith’s shoulder. “I just— I’m scared. One day we’ll need to fight Zarkon and then… what if we all don’t make it out? Then what, we’ve defeated Zarkon but I’ve lost one of my best friends.”

Keith nodded. The mortality of war. The constant reminder hanging over them that they weren’t immortal and one of them dying was a real concept, something realistic.

“Yeah…” Keith said, because he didn’t know what else to say. “It sucks.”

“And there’s so much I haven’t done, and so much that I’m waiting to do until Zarkon’s gone—” Lance glanced at Keith, for a moment longer than he had to. But didn’t break eye contact. “So much I want to do, and say,” he looked away. “I want to see my family again. So badly and I just— I want to be a kid. Making shit decisions, rather than dealing with bodies and the ethics or Lotor—”

He didn’t say anything else, and Keith didn’t say anything for a long time either. Instead wrapping the pair of them in the blanket and staring out at Keith’s room. It hadn’t changed a lot since Keith got here.

Now there was a photo frame, which scrolled through a few photos. A gift from Pidge. From one of Adam, Shiro and him, to one of his dad and him, then one of the team, all smiling despite the bruises and blood.

His knife was… somewhere and his gloves were on his desk, along with the Galra book which he hadn’t been reading, with the books he had been reading stacked on top. In the closet, in a messy pile was his armour and the few clothes he had hung up.

It wasn’t like Lance’s room, which had a photo wall which was starting to expand into a photo room. Or like Pidge’s with junk and fairy lights and pieces of paper with math stuck to the wall. Or even like Hunk’s who had recipes up on a pin-board, and various blueprints and other science things he didn’t understand. Or like Allura’s with the fancy regal look he’d expect from a princess.

Just his room, with his jacket hung up on the wall and his boots thrown underneath the jacket.

“Your room’s depressing,” Lance said, “Where are the photos? Or maths on the wall.”

“I’m gay. I can’t do maths.”

“You’re a pilot, there is maths required.”

“I can do that maths, I can’t do Pidge maths.”

“A super-computer couldn’t do Pidge maths, or even Hunk maths… they make the rest of us look stupid.”

“We are.” Keith argued and Lance snorted. “I just don’t have anything to hang up.”

“What about your drawings? Where do you keep your sketchbook.”

Keith waved a hand, gesturing to his desk, and Lance started searching through the books. Eventually finding the sketchbook that Lance had given him not all that long ago. It was basically full at this point.

He’d been drawing a lot.

Lance flicked it open. His face dropping.

Not that long ago Allura had seen one of the drawings that he’d been working on and asked him if he needed help. So clearly, the drawings were about as cheery as… something not that happy. Another time Pidge had seen what he was drawing and burst out into tears.

Another, another time, Shiro had seen one and stared at Keith for a long time. Before hugging him so tightly that Keith couldn’t breathe.

Lance’s eyes left the sketchbook and looked up at Keith. “You don’t actually think this? Right?”

“Which one?” Keith asked, and Lance’s eyes widened for a second. 

He turned the sketchbook around.

It was a sketch of himself, except he hadn’t drawn his face. Mostly because he didn’t know how to draw faces, not his own, and also because he’d written every insult that had stayed with him on the face instead.

“They’re not things I think,” Keith said, taking the sketchbook out of Lance’s hands. Reading ‘freak’ written across where his nose would’ve been if he’d drawn a face. “They’re things I’ve been told.” His eyes kept scanning, reading things that made his heart hurt. “I wasn’t having a great day.”

“Keith…” Lance’s voice was as kind as ever. “They’re not true.”

“There has to be some truth to them,” Keith muttered. Closing the sketchbook and throwing it onto the desk with a thump. “Otherwise they wouldn’t of been said.”

“They’re not true,” Lance repeated. “I know you, and none of those things are true.”

“You’re biased,” Keith said, before shaking his head and looking at Lance. “So, Zarkon.”

“You’re trying to change the subject—”

“Want to train tomorrow?” Keith asked, because he was a coward. “Because Shiro and Allura will be arguing about what she did today and I do not want to be there for that. Shiro and Allura arguing is always the worst—”

“Keith.” Lance snapped. “Stop it.”

“Sorry,” Keith looked down at his sock clad feet. “I know they’re not completely true. Just— they wouldn’t of said them if they weren’t at all true.” He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “This isn't even about me. I’m fine. Just— yeah.”

“Your issues matter too,” Lance sat down next to Keith. “None of them are true. Okay? None of them. They just have your best traits messed up into something that should be punished when it shouldn’t.”

He walked over and grabbed the book. Sitting back down next to Keith, over to the sketch. His eyes darting across some of the words. “Freak,” Lance read and Keith flinched a little. “I’d say unique. Because no one else like you exists, and if that makes you a freak then aren’t we all freaks?”

Keith snorted.

“Also,” Lance said, grinning and Keith already knew what he was going to say. “Who says this means your weird, rather than a freak in the sheets.”

“Lance.”

“Mullet in the streets, freak in the sheets,” Lance grinned and Keith sighed, facepalming. “Like damn, wouldn’t take you as the type.”

“Lance.”

“Do you go all Galra?” Lance grinned again, nudging Keith’s shoulder with his own. “Don’t you go all Galra when you have too many emotions. Do you go Galra when you’re horny.”

“Lance. If you don’t shut up, I’m going to make you.”

“Oh!” Lance raised both eyebrows, “Didn’t peg you as that type either. Lucky for you I’m into that.”

Keith hit Lance with his pillow, then in the face for good measure.

Lance just laughed.

“What are you a masochist?” Keith said, as he continued hitting Lance with the pillow as hard as he could, who just kept laughing.

“For you, anything!” Lance yelled through laughter, and Keith started whacking Lance hard enough with the pillow that he was hoping that Lance would have bruises tomorrow and he’d regret ever speaking.

“Okay! Okay!” Lance cried out after about two minutes of being beaten up with a pillow. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

Keith crossed his arms, and Lance clambered onto the bed. Before laying down like this was his own bed, rather than, y’know Keith’s.

“What are you doing?” Keith asked as Lance started getting underneath the blanket. “Go to your own bed.”

“But Keith,” Lance complained, “That’s so far and Zarkon is still freaking me out and I know that you’d never let Zarkon kidnap me.”

“You’re guilting me into letting you sleep here, aren’t you?”

“Is it working?” Lance asked, peering from the covers.

“Yes.” Keith said flatly and Lance smiled brightly. “I’ll go sleep on the couch—” he turned around.

“What?” Lance shrieked, “Who’s going to protect me from Zarkon. I can’t shoot! I’m vulnerable.”

“You’re guilting me,” Keith sighed, “And it’s working. Move over.”

Lance shuffled over and Keith lifted up the blanket to climb in.

“Wait!” Lance yelled, “You’re wearing your leggings with pockets to bed?”

“Yeah?” Keith said slowly, putting down the blanket and looking at Lance, “So that I can run if we get woken up in the middle of the night.”

“No.” Lance said, throwing the blanket off himself and going into Keith’s cupboard. Finding a pair of shorts which looked slightly too big for him. “Wear those. They’re proper clothes and more comfortable.”

Keith snatched the clothes away, and stomped into the bathroom. Got changed and threw his leggings into his cupboard. Before sliding into bed next to Lance. Burying himself in the covers and turning away from him.

“How am I supposed to defeat Zarkon if I’m wearing shorts?” Keith grumbled, and was met with Lance’s laughter. 

“I reckon you’ll manage,” Lance said and Keith scowled. “Stop with the angst, I can feel it radiating off of you.”

Keith didn’t say anything. Just remained facing away from Lance, scowling as much as he was able to and hoped that Lance was able to feel the rage. Although, it was a bit hard to be filled with rage when his fringe kept getting in his face.

“You alright?” Lance said, after the millionth time of Keith moving hair out of his face. 

“Fuck you.”

“If you insist,” Lance replied straight away, and Keith sighed. “Sit up.”

“Huh?”

“Sit up,” Lance said and Keith sat up slowly. Before he felt his hair being gathered into a ponytail at the back of his head. Which was getting tied up with… something, and Keith would be a filthy liar if he said he didn’t like Lance’s fingers running through his hair.

He closed his eyes before Lance’s hands left his hair and he almost complained about the loss, “There. Your hair is outta your face,” he could hear the smile in Lance’s voice. “Now go to sleep.”

Keith laid back down, feeling Lance’s warmth radiating off of him.

His fringe was still in his eyes, he huffed again and Lance sighed. “Sit up. I’ll find a bobby pin.” Lance got out of bed as Keith sat up. He left the room and came back not that long afterwards.

Putting one hand on Keith’s forehead, he pushed Keith’s bangs back. Pining them to his head, by sliding the pin in a way that Keith wouldn’t be able to do if he tried for years. Lance was looking at his head.

Keith was looking at Lance.

Eventually the moment shattered, and Lance climbed into bed, over Keith, and Keith slipped under the covers. Hugging them to himself as Lance laid next to him. Keith could feel Lance’s breaths on his back, and even more so than before. He could feel the heat that Lance was admitting like the greatest heater ever.

They were close. Keith could’ve just kissed him, or done something as equally stupid. He could’ve and maybe if he wasn’t so scared he would have. Then something would be different when they woke up in the morning.

But Keith was a coward. A coward who wasn’t going to kiss Lance unless his life depended on it.

They really were close, Keith’s shoulder was touching Lance’s, which was to be expected, considering they were trying to share the same pillow. “Move,” Lance complained, “You’re hogging the pillow.”

“My pillow, I’ll hog it all if I like.” Keith said, moving to prove a point, and push Lance off the pillow. 

“Fine then.” Lance wrapped an arm around Keith and managed to weasel his way back onto the pillow in Keith’s confusion.

Lance was snuggling him.

That was what that was.

Lance was snuggling him. His arms wrapped around Keith’s torso, and his nose pressed into the back of his neck.

Keith’s brain went:  _ Error 404, Gay Not Found.  _ As Lance laughed into the back of his neck, Keith let himself relax around Lance’s arms. He was being cuddled by Lance McClain. Maybe he had fallen asleep, and this was all just all a dream.

“You’re surprisingly cuddly for a ball of rage,” Lance said, although it was muffled. “Like a cat.”

“Lance. Be quiet.”

“Galra are like cats!” Lance exclaimed right into Keith’s ear.

They were still cuddling. What alternate universe had Keith fallen into?

Lance pulled him closer, so Keith’s back was touching Lance’s chest and all of a sudden he felt very light headed. “Go to sleep Keith.” Lance whispered and if he didn’t stop Keith was going to… have a problem.

* * *

“Blue is more yellow than it is red,” Lance said, hugging Keith’s torso who sighed.

“Blue is more red than it is yellow,” Keith argued, “You’re just mad because you’re wrong.”

“No, no, no,” Lance said, his nose still digging into the back of Keith’s neck. “Blue… and yellow make green. Blue and red make purple. Green is more like blue than purple, the only difference between those colours are red and yellow. Therefore, yellow is more blue than red.”

“Do you ever shut up?” Keith muttered, “It’s ass-o’clock in the morning. You wouldn’t shut up if you were having sex.”

Lance didn’t say anything.

“I’m asking Lulio.”

“What?” Lance shrieked, “Lulio and I never had sex!”

“But you made out,” Keith argued, and a part of his brain wondered why they were talking about sex and making out when Lance was hanging on his back like a koala. “And it’s similar enough.”

“Don’t ask him.”

“I’m asking him.”

“Keith!”

* * *

_ Starlight, starbright. _

Keith sat up, rubbing at his eyes as Lance stirred next to him. Also sitting up.

_ First star I see tonight. _

Keith sighed, if these weird lullabies were going to make another return, how hard was it for them to happen at a good time? When Lance wasn’t being a koala and Keith had been having a great nights rest.

“Again,” Lance complained, and Keith looked at him.

Again?

_ I wish I may. I wish I might. _

“What do you mean again?” Keith asked, and Lance looked at him.

“You’re hearing a Spanish lullaby?” Lance asked, his eyes wide. “What the fuck, what the fuck?”

_ Have this wish I wish tonight. _

“No…” Keith rubbed at his eyes, “It’s the lullaby Pops used to have to sing me if I even thought about going to sleep. What are you hearing?”

“Duérmete mi niño,” Lance replied, “It was Mama’s lullaby, she sang it like it was the only thing she knew.”

“Cool,” Keith said, “We’re both having weird lullabies.”

“Sort it in the morning,” Lance complained, and he laid back down onto the bed.

“Great idea,” Keith mumbled. Before flopping back onto his pillow.

* * *

Footsteps woke Lotor up, he rubbed at his eyes. Before looking through the laser walls, trying to see if Keith was there. He couldn’t see anyone. So laid back down, trying to get as comfortable as one could on the floor.

“Hello.”

“What the quiznack?” Lotor sat up, seeing Princess Allura through the laser wall and had his brain shut down for a moment. “Hello Princess.”

“Hello,” she said again. She was wearing a flowing nightgown, adorned with pink patterning, her hair looked slightly uncontrollable, almost as terrible as Lotor’s. Frizzing out like someone’s would if they were electrocuted. 

Had Allura been electrocuted?

Lotor looked around for a moment, before settling his hands in his lap and deciding to look everywhere but Allura.

“I am sorry for how I acted today,” Allura said, sitting down in front of Lotor, the laser wall between them. “Very sorry indeed. What I did was wrong and an invasion of your privacy, and while this doesn’t make up for it, I promise you it will not happen again.”

Lotor just nodded, his mind running at a million miles an hour. It seemed like if he messed up here, he’d have all the paladins, along with Allura and Coran after him, trying to make his life even more hellish.

That was not something Lotor fancied.

He didn’t say anything, and looked down.

“Agedar,” Allura said and Lotor managed to look up. Not surprised that she was here because she wanted something from him. “When was the last time you spoke to him?” She asked and Lotor fidgeted. 

“It was a chance encounter,” Lotor said, “I was stationed on a Galra base, I was supposed to be looking for any abnormal activity. It was just reading charts, and the first time my father had let me out since I let the Alteans go.”

Allura nodded, leaning forward, like what Lotor was saying, was actually important. Perhaps it was, or perhaps it wasn’t and she was simply pretending. “Agedar… your brother, he was captured. He came onto the ship surrounded by officers and was thrown into the prison that was on the ship.”

Lotor sighed, wincing slightly at the memory. “Agedar. We always had a bond—”

Allura spluttered, “ _ A  _ bond like in the stories. Or just, two people.”

“No one has had a bond like the ones told in stories since Altea was lost,” Lotor said, looking down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at Allura. “Agedar, he broke through the cell wall and pinned me.”

Lotor almost managed to smile, “He knew that the druids would see that eventually, when Zarkon asked about it. So he said nothing, acted like he’d never seen me before, gave nothing away about where the Alteans were. He… kept me safe.”

Allura took a deep breath, “Do you know where the Alteans are?”

“I do not.” Lotor shook his head, “And if I did they would have already been found… I am sorry I don’t know more.”

“It’s okay,” Allura replied, shaking her head a little. Before the pair of them fell into a silence that Lotor would call awkward. “I saw the memory, with the Alteans… why? Why did you let them go?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Lotor countered.

“Because considering your circumstances, it is a foolish thing to do,” Allura said, “Your father would find out and you must’ve known the consequences. You could’ve commanded someone else to do it.”

“Altea did not deserve to be destroyed,” Lotor looked down at the ground, his hair covering his face. “I was barely a child when it was destroyed, but even I had heard the stories of Altea and magic and the bonds that your fiercest warriors shared.”

Allura smiled, “Those stories always intrigued me, I asked Pidge about them, and she said that on Earth they call them soulmates. They also call Quintessence souls, it’s quite odd, and everyone has their own ideas about what Quintessence is.”

“I suppose they would,” Lotor managed to smile, underneath the wall of hair that he’d put between them. “Earthlings seem quite disagreeable when they want to be.”

“But they’re loyal,” Allura said, “And they love quite unlike any other species I have met and I am not sure if any other species in the universe is quite like them.”

Lotor looked up, his hair falling away from his face. To look straight at Allura. 

“They love each other like they do in the stories, like the love shown in the stories is infinite, they seem to believe that everyone is worthy of love, and that love makes everyone better,” Allura looked straight at Lotor, “It is quite odd.”

“Earthlings seem foolish.”

Allura laughed, “They are indeed. They’re so stupid sometimes. Keith will jump off a cliff and expect Lance to catch him. Lance will believe that I can pilot a lion I’ve never touched before. Hunk will hug everyone like he’s known them his entire life.” Allura laughed, her eyes crinkling up as she did so. “It’s amazing.”

“Amazing? It’s going to get them all killed.”

“Maybe,” Allura’s smile dulled, but not by much, “Maybe it does, and this took me so long to understand. Maybe it keeps them all alive.” She smiled again, as brightly as the stars, her eyes lighting up a similar way. “Earthlings are special… they’re so many things, stupid, irrational, but they love so deeply.” 

Lotor tilted his head at her. “When they all die, and they’ve taught you to love the way that they love each other, you’ll be destroyed.”

“And what is life without the threat of death?” Allura smiled, almost too brightly for someone talking about death. “Death gives life meaning. And if they died and I didn’t love them as deeply as I did, I’d regret that forever. That is something the Galra don’t seem to understand, attachment hurts,” something flashed across her face.

“It hurts. People die, people can leave, and it tears you into pieces. But it’s when they’re alive, and here that counts for something. That’s what the Galra don’t understand, that’s what you don’t understand.”

Lotor looked at her.

“That is why we will win this, or die trying. Unlike you, we have something to fight for. Something greater than the universe itself, something that no matter how hard Zarkon tries he’ll never understand.”

“Or it all goes terribly wrong.” Lotor deadpanned.

“Or it doesn’t!” Allura retorted, still smiling somehow, “And isn’t that just as enthralling? What if nothing goes wrong? What if we all live after this war peacefully, because strangers love each other. Without knowing it. They offer food, and aid, I’ve seen it on planets, strangers love without a reason. So why are the Galra so different… why is their first reaction anger and greed?”

“Fear.” Lotor said, snapping Allura out of her rant. “You can not care for anyone but yourself when your every action is judged.”

Allura smiled, “Fear and love. Two opposing forces. You act out of fear, I act out of love.” Allura crouched down, so her face was almost touching the laser wall. “Fear will constrict you and love will free you. Let us see who wins this war then.”

She stood up, turning around.

“I do not want my father to win,” Lotor said, and Allura stopped dead in her tracks. “He is a horrible man.”

Allura turned around, “Then make sure you do not become like him.”

Then she left, her footsteps echoing as Lotor was left sitting there on the floor. His thoughts racing, leaping from topic to topic and analysing everything that was said. Just in case.

It was a long while before Lotor laid down, resting his head on the uncomfortable floor. He relaxed as much as he could, propping an arm underneath him, a feeble imitation of a pillow and he closed his eyes.

* * *

“Holy fuck!” Was the first thing Lance woke up to, blinking before sitting up. Seeing Keith on the floor. 

“Why are you on the floor?” Lance asked, rubbing at his eyes.

“You pushed me off!” Keith argued, standing up slowly. Before looking over at what looked like a clock, Lance never learnt how to read the clocks on The Castle. They just didn’t make sense, he could learn Galran and bits of Altean, but he couldn’t read the clocks for the life of him.

Luckily Keith could. “Ah shit, we’re late.”

“Ah shit indeed!” Lance said, scrambling out of bed. Before running down the hallway, leaving Keith behind to do… whatever the hell he was going to do. He slid into the hallway on his socks.

“You’re saying,” Pidge said, “That gay warriors saved Altea in the stories?” 

Allura nodded.

“The gays are too powerful,” Pidge grinned, “Oh look. There’s one.”

“Ha. Ha.” Lance grumbled, walking over to the table and looking into one of the pots, before picking up a bowl and scooping all the food that he could fit into his bowl. “You’re hilarious Pidge.”

“I know,” Pidge deadpanned, her tone as flat as Lance’s as Lance collapsed into the seat next to her. “So… anything interesting happen last night?”

“What?”

“Saw you going into Keith’s room from the cameras,” Pidge said casually, chewing on some of whatever it was that was for breakfast. Lance didn’t know what it was, but he knew it tasted good. “So… did anything happen.”

“No.”

“You’re lying!” Allura yelled, slamming her hand on the table and smiling, “His eye twitched!”

Pidge snapped around so fast that her neck cracked. “Holy shit! I was joking. Lance!”

“Nothing happened!” Lance argued, slamming his spoon on the table. “Okay. I went in there because the whole Zarkon wanted me in The Arena freaked me out and Keith shares a room in my hallway. The rest of you are ages away.”

Pidge raised an eyebrow, “Interesting, interesting,” she grinned, exchanging a glance with Allura. “Seems kinda gay if you ask me.”

“What seems gay?” Keith asked from the doorway. “If it’s Lulio then yes.”

  
“Keith,” Lance looked at him. “If you contact Lulio it’ll be the second last thing you ever do.”

“What’s the last thing?” Keith asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Scream.” Lance whispered and Keith just looked at him. 

“Right, so what’s gay?” Keith asked, “Because I’m probably in.”

“Altean warriors,” Allura smiled. “They didn’t want people of the opposite genders to fight together. So same-gender couples would fight together.”

Lance ignored them, happy to tune them out while he focused on doing the maths of how to get as much food into his mouth as physically possible. If he tilted his head right and used his spoon like a shovel.

Eventually he managed it, and was trying to chew through the mess when Shiro and Hunk rocked up, shortly followed by Coran. Allura stood up, hitting the table to get everyone’s attention. Which worked, and probably always would work.

“Okay!” Allura yelled, as Lance started chewing frantically, trying to get through all of his food in case he was asked something, or in case he needed to ask a question. “Today, Lance and Keith are going to train with Lotor.”

Lance chewed a bit more frantically.

“We are?” Keith repeated, looking at Lance who was chewing like his poor life depended on it. “Okay.” Keith grinned, “Unless Lance has an objection?”

Lance shook his head, still chewing as fastly as he could, to try and be able to say something if he needed to. It did not appear to be going very well for him. Allura raised an eyebrow at him and moved on.

“I believe Lotor needs his own room.”

“Huh?” Pidge said, “Like… what?”

“He’s been in a cramped cell,” Keith added, as Lance was chewing to the best of his abilities but not getting anywhere. “And that’s not very homey.”

“It’s still a cell technically,” Allura said, and Coran had both eyebrows raised at her. “But it’s… nicer?”

Something clicked in Lance’s brain, and he spat out all his breakfast on the table as there were noises of disgust and Lance laughed, looking straight at Allura. “Oh my God.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Allura!”

Allura’s cheeks looked a bit pinker. “What?” She challenged, and Lance knew at that moment that he wasn’t going to win any argument that was gearing up. “Tell everyone what, Lance.”

“Holy shit,” Pidge muttered. “You’re fucking dead.”

“Nothing!” Lance squeaked, looked down. “Nothing, just, admiring the craftsmanship. I’ll go and— clean this table. Yup! Okay, bye!” He waved.

Keith and Hunk waved back.

“Be at the deck on time!” Allura yelled, “Or you’ll be sorry.”

“Anything for you!” Lance yelled back, and ducked the spoon that got thrown at him. Then didn’t manage to duck the second spoon which hit the back of his head. 

Allura laughed maniacally.

* * *

“So…” Lotor was standing on the training deck. Allura watching from the sidelines. Lance and Keith were both standing in front of him, Keith’s bayard in hand, while Lance held one of the practising swords. “Hello.” Lotor said.

Allura scoffed from the background.

Keith sighed, “Lotor… just, get to it.”

Lotor swung. Lance shrieked, before ducking out of the way, meeting Lotor’s hit with one of his own. “Come on!” Lotor yelled, looking at Keith. “For a paladin you’re very idle.”

That somehow managed to fire Keith up, who swung at the same time that Lance did and somehow Lotor managed to block both. Before swinging at Keith instead, a swing that made the air whistle around the sword.

Keith blocked it, and Lance swung.

Pushing Keith away, Lotor blocked Lance’s swing. Too close to the hilt. Lance didn’t back off, instead he held his stance. Grabbed the sword, and stepped to the side. Yanking the sword out of Lotor’s hand.

Lotor stared for a moment. It was quiet for a long moment.

Even Allura seemed speechless.

“Who taught you that?” Lotor asked.

“Keith… it’s one of the simplest disarms,” Lance said, handing Lotor’s sword back to him. “You go into a bind… but you blocked too close to the hilt so you do that,” Lotor nodded, and Lance shrugged. “It’s nothing fancy.”

“It worked,” Keith popped up next to Lance. “That’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter if you’re the worst swordsman, whatever works, works.”

Lotor nodded, walking over to the sword rack and picking up another sword. Dual wielding. Great. Lance knew exactly what he was doing here. Lotor grinned, spinning one sword around in his hand with some fancy hand-movement that probably should’ve broken his wrist.

“Uh…” Lance said, “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“It’s a great time to learn,” Keith replied. “Okay, long swords, keep distance. Lotor moves quickly, move quicker than him.”

Lotor jabbed and Lance stepped back, he jabbed again, hitting Lance’s sword to the side and jabbed Lance with the other sword. So. Lotor won that one then.

“Keep distance,” Lotor said, with another jab which Lance blocked. “Keith, why are you keeping your distance?”

“I’m not supposed to be?”

“No!” Lotor yelled thrusting, which Lance blocked. “I have two swords, of course I’m going to over power Lance.”

“Right,” Keith stepped forward with a jab of his own, which Lotor stepped back from. Pushing Lance’s sword down with his own sword, and swiping up. Right past Lance’s cheek and Lance had the feeling that Lotor could’ve hurt him if he wanted to. 

Lance couldn’t quite see what Keith was doing, only that Keith was a movement of short jabs and swings directed at Lotor’s torso, as Lotor blocked. He glanced at Lance, before kicking him in the stomach. Sending him backwards.

That was the plan though. Because Lotor started an onslaught of swords, a flurry of movement, Keith never stopped moving. Darting forwards and backwards, as Lance watched. Mainly because watching Keith was intoxicating.

Another jab, and a swing. Lance had no idea who was winning. Only that there was a lot of simple, short movements. Short swings, close quarters. Despite Keith having said that distance was supposed to be important in this fight.

Lotor hit down at Keith with both swords, Keith threw his sword up to block. The two of them pushing against each other but not getting anywhere. Lance slowly stood up, as the two of them pushed and got nowhere.

Keith met his eye for a split second, before looking back at Lotor. Lance picked up his own sword, and tapped Lotor in the back with his sword. Lotor jumped and turned around swinging down with both swords, seemingly more of a reflex than a choice.

Lance had no idea what Keith was doing, he was shielded by Lotor. “Yield,” Keith said, and Lance could hear the smile in his voice. 

Lotor rolled his eyes, “I yield,” he dropped his swords to the ground and looked at Keith, then at Lance, then at Keith again. “I’d barely call that teamwork.”

“We worked as a team,” Keith argued. “And you forgot about Lance. That’s on you.”

Lotor sighed, picking up his swords again. Spinning one around. “The key to fighting more than one opponent is to keep the distance between the opponents. You don’t let them work together. Separate them.”

Keith tilted his head.

“You know that now. I’m going to try to keep you two apart, from making whatever plan that I know you two will make. You two win if you manage to touch each other.” Lotor pointed either side of him with his swords and Lance stood to his left, Keith to his right. “Never leave your chest or neck open,” Lotor said holding his swords out at arms length. “Use any weaknesses that you can. Allura?”

“One.” Allura said, not looking up from her book. “Two.” Lance tensed, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Up and down. “Three.”

Lance was thrown to the side straight away, and Lotor started his attack on Keith. This time Lance took a moment. Lotor did a lot of side swings, they were easy to block, he also fought downwards because he was taller than everyone.

His back was also to Lance, and his hair… Lotor had said to use any weaknesses, did that include yanking someone’s hair?

Instead of any of that, Lance stood up, slowly approaching Lotor. Watching the flurry of movement that Lotor was. Before Keith was shoved away, and Lotor spun around, starting to jab and swing at Lance.

He could work with this. 

Lance blocked, looking up at Lotor, who swung down again. Lance stepped aside, and Lotor stumbled forwards a bit. Then. Lance stood on the blade of one of the swords, which bent under his weight.

One hand pointed his sword at Lotor’s neck. 

Lotor dropped the sword Lance was standing on, and Lance flung it back with his foot. Keith lunged forward at Lotor. Who turned around in a spin, slicing at Lance on the way and blocked the lunge.

Keith met his eyes for a second, maybe less. And Lance knew exactly what Keith was going to do, and Lance knew exactly what he needed to do. Keith moved again, with jabs and slices, going one side then the other. Widening Lotor’s stance.

If it hadn’t clicked before, it had clicked now.

Lance took a deep breath, before sliding like a penguin, between Lotor’s legs and Keith’s other hand grabbed his, dragging him up straight away as both of them pointed their swords at Lotor.

Allura had looked up from her book, probably at some point during the fight, and nodded at the pair of them approvingly. “Good job, especially Lance, you’re getting much better.”

“Thank you,” Lance grinned back, before looking at Lotor, “You’re being beaten by two teenagers.”

“Two teenagers who work freakily well together,” Lotor shuddered, “That was scary. You made eye contact for… a tick.”

“We’ve fought beside each other for…” Lance looked at Keith for a rough guess of how long they’d been doing this Voltron thing and Keith shrugged. “A while, of course we know how the other moves.”

“I agree,” Allura said, standing up and walking over to the three of them. “Keith and Lance should know how the other move, like how Pidge knows how you fight, or you know how Shiro fights. But almost no one can make eye contact for a moment and know what is to happen.”

“We’ve been training together,” Lance said, “For ages now. Even… before, we trained together almost everyday.”

Keith nodded and Allura scrunched up her nose. “It is highly unusual,” Allura said, crossing her arms, in a very Keith-like way. “But considering you’ve shared a lion and the other weird things.”

“Other?” Lotor asked.

“Sometimes they feel each other’s pain,” Allura said, and boy, that wasn’t the half of it. But Lance didn’t say anything, and considering Keith didn’t say anything either, that was the general consensus. 

Lotor raised an eyebrow.

“They have both piloted Red,” Allura explained. “And Red saved Lance’s life once, before he was even piloting properly. It makes sense. In theory Lance and I could feel each other’s pain.”

“But,” Keith interjected, “Lance and Red are really close, and Red and I were really close.” Keith gave a one shoulder shrug, “It’s not some weird space thing… well, it is, but it’s not a weirder space thing.”

Lance nodded enthusiastically.

Lotor looked at them skeptically before shrugging.

“Now.” Allura said, using her Paladin Voice™, “We have a new room for you,” she said to Lotor who straightened up a bit. “It’s still a cell… but it’s a nicer cell. With a bed and a bathroom, follow me.”

The pair of them walked out, Lotor behind Allura, who held her head up high and didn’t hesitate to look around to see if Lotor was hesitating or worse of all, just not following her. 

Lance and Keith exchanged a look.

“She likes him,” Keith said and Lance nodded. “She’s not normally this bossy.”

“I mean Lotor is objectively attractive.”

“You have no taste,” Keith said, “You think Shiro’s more attractive than Lulio and you think that Lotor is more attractive than—”

“Tom Hiddleston, like, his Loki days.”

“No!” Keith yelled, “Your taste in men is appalling!”

“It is,” Lance muttered, looking directly at Keith. 

And if something passed between them, neither of them mentioned it.

* * *

“And I’m running for my life now!” Lance yelled, “Woohoo!”

“Lance, shut up.” Keith snapped, although he was also running for his life, so it was a bit tense at that moment.

Their footsteps pounded against the planet ground, comms were out, Pidge, Hunk and Allura were… who knows where. “Shiro!” Keith yelled into the comms, before Lance turned around, running backwards for a split second.

Yeah, no. They weren’t going to be able to take out all of those guys. Were they going to die here?

“Fuck,” Keith muttered, and Lance was scanning for something to get up on. So they could shoot at things, or throw swords at the sentries after them. “Lance, we need a plan!”

“I’m working on it!”

“Like now!”

“Working on it!” Lance yelled back, turning around and stumbling a few steps, as Keith dragged him. 

The landscape was flat, with a few odd plants. But nothing to climb up. “Are our jetpacks out?” Lance asked and Keith shook his head. “Okay, great. We’re going to fly as far we can and pray that something will happen.”

Keith grabbed Lance’s hand, and the pair of them were jerked forwards, with the force of the jetpacks as Lance’s took a moment to adjust, spluttering to try get them as high as they could. Which wasn’t particularly high.

Lance scanned, as Keith steered the pair of them. A boulder, a large rock was just below them and Lance almost didn’t see it. It blended in almost perfectly, but Lance saw it. “Dive!” Lance yelled.

Keith did, and there was a reason that he was the best pilot that The Garrison had seen. Just when Lance thought they were going to hit the rock Keith pulled up, and the pair of them floated down slowly.

Standing on top of the rock, Lance started scanning again, for the sentries. Which were far in the distance, but not so far that he couldn’t hear the stamping and stomping of metal hitting the ground.

Plan. They needed an actual plan.

“Okay,” Lance said, sitting down and taking off his helmet. Getting the communicator chip out of it, hopefully watching Pidge in her element would mean he had some sort of skill. “I’m going to fuck up this communicator chip.”

“Fuck it up,” Keith said, “We already have to make you a new helmet every week.” Keith squinted in the distance, looking at the sentries while Lance crouched over the helmet and started poking bits of it. Waiting to hear static.

He didn’t hear any static.

“Could we make a satellite?” Lance asked. “Relay the message from your communicator to… Shiro’s or Pidge’s.”

“Not in the time we have,” Keith said, squinting into the distance. “But that is an idea, if we ever get stuck on a planet and we have nothing better to do but try and make a satellite, remember that.”

Lance hummed, “Do you have a small stick?”

“A small what now?” Keith asked and Lance looked up.

“Stick. S-T-I-C-K. I don’t care how big your dick is,” Lance looked back down at the communicator chip that he was fiddling with, with little success. “Unless that’ll work.”

“Fuck off,” Keith muttered. “Wait.” He took off his helmet. “The bobby pin from last night is in there somewhere.” He started trying to look for it, but Lance sighed. Standing up and starting to look through Keith’s hair.

Lance already knew that Keith’s hair was soft, surprisingly soft for someone who had the self-care skills of a toddler who couldn’t dress themselves. And Lance revelled in that fact as he prodded, and looked for the bobby pin.

Eventually he found something solid, surrounded by a giant tangle. Lance sighed, looking at the sentries getting closer and closer, Lance really didn’t have the time to untangle Keith’s hair.

“Cut it off,” Keith said, “Our gauntlets have lasers.”

“Are you sure?”

“I think our lives matter more than my hair,” Keith almost yelled, but almost kept his voice calm as well. It was a weird middle ground.

Lance grabbed the piece of hair, trying to isolate just the knotted parts so that Lance wouldn’t cut that much off. He adjusted his laser, which fired to life, and the smell of burning hair was one of the worst that Lance had smelt.

Keith gagged as Lance grabbed the bobby pin, covered with Keith’s hair, which he managed to pick off with not that much effort.

“We need a backup plan,” Keith said.

“Start shooting.”

“What?” Keith almost fell off the rock. “I can’t shoot for shit—”

“Then what’s the point of our training,” Lance said, not looking up from the communicator chip, starting to turn one of the dials as slowly as he could. “They’re too far for me to shoot accurately.”

“You can still use guns!” Keith sounded as hysteric as Lance felt. Which was terrifying, because Keith almost never panicked. He always tried to keep cool, even when everyone else was panicking.

Lance heard a second of static. 

“Not at this far range,” Lance looked up for a second. “Keith. I can’t snipe for shit.”

“Me neither!”

“You’re better than me,” Lance replied, looking back down. “Just— try. We’re not exactly full of options here.”

Keith nodded, sighing and Lance handed over his bayard. Which somehow managed to turn to a bayard. Lance’s old sniper gun, the one that Lance hadn’t been able to summon since the… accident.

Surprisingly he smiled a small bit to himself, as Keith lined up the shot. Carefully scanning and looking, just like Lance had taught him. Until there was a small ‘thunk’ and the sound of metal hitting the ground was heard.

Lance looked at the chip, starting to turn the dial. Trying to reach the right frequency manually, apparently they had to do that now themselves, because their comms were out of range. Which seemed like a problem they needed to look into later. 

Another crash of metal.

“Lance? Keith? Hello?” That was Allura, and Lance had never been so grateful to hear another voice.

“Allura!” Lance yelled, trying to hold his hands as steady as he could in case he moved the dial. “Keith and I need an extraction, are you back at The Castle?”

“I am,” Allura confirmed. “Shiro and Pidge are at the outpost… Hunk is also with them. I have the crystals I needed. I’m guessing you’re in trouble?”

“Yes. We need an extraction. Trace our location,” Lance said, fully aware that he was about to have a hand tremor and probably lose Allura. Lance’s hands spasmed and he lost Allura. With a frustrated sigh he started trying to get it back.

“Uh.” Keith said, his voice louder than it needed to be. “Lance. We have a problem.”

Lance looked up.

Oh. Fantastic. More sentires, coming over the horizon. An insane amount of sentries. Lance sighed. “Fuck me!” He exclaimed and went back to trying to get Allura back on the comms. Keith didn’t say anything.

The only noises were the comfort of the laser gun, and metal smacking the ground and the echoing footprints of the sentries. Reminders of what was going to happen.

* * *

Lotor did have a nice bedroom, the bed seemed to move for him more than the one on Zarkon’s ship ever did, and was painted a light blue colour, which seemed to calm him down even when he wanted to scream.

He was flicking through a book, trying to understand Altean for the life of him. The paladins were all out on their own missions, which seemed like a foolish plan. But Allura, Keith and Shiro hadn’t.

The door flung open and Lotor jumped, holding his book up as a shield. Allura was in the doorway, panting, still in her blue paladin armour, hair disheveled and messy, sticking up in every direction.

She braced herself on the door for a moment, breathing in and out, before gaining her breath and looking Lotor straight in the eye. 

“We need your help!”

* * *

“Anything you’d like to confess before we die?” Lance said, clearly cheerily, as he watched the sentries try to clamber up the rock. “Because it is looking very likely.”

“We’re not going to die,” Keith snapped, glaring at Lance. “But no, there’s nothing.”

“Not anything? Like not even something you regret not doing.”

“I regret never punching you in the face,” Keith said through gritted teeth. “How am I not the one giving up here? Lance McClain, get your ass off the rock and start doing something, or so help me—”

Lance stood up, “I’m guessing you want a plan that doesn’t involve us flying away?” He asked and Keith facepalmed. “Hey, if the shoe fits.”

“Our jetpacks are out of fuel, we might be able to glide,” Keith said and Lance hummed. Looking down at the rock, at the sentries trying to clamber up, making a tower of sentries, all using the others to climb a bit higher.

He did have an idea.

“How hard would it be to explode the fuel in our jetpacks?” Lance asked, although didn’t wait for an answer and took off the chest-piece, putting it on top of the rocks. “Then we glide off and use the laser.”

“Holy shit,” Keith said, “That could actually work.”

“That’s why I said it,” Lance argued, “You have a lot of doubt in me for someone who’s saved your life plenty of times.”

“I do,” Keith confirmed. Before looking at Lance. “I’ll need to shoot the laser.”

“Yeah?”

“You need the jetpack on,” he said, “I can’t shoot and fly us at the same time. Put that on,” he picked up the chest-piece and handed it to Lance, who shrugged it on, as Keith took his off.

Opening the fuel cap, which Keith was going to have to be able to aim into. While they were flying. This would not be an easy shot. Lance wasn’t sure if he'd even be able to make it in his prime. Keith handed Lance the black bayard, and gripped the red bayard, still transformed into the sniper gun.

“Okay,” Keith jumped up and down, shaking out his hands and ankles. “Right. This is easy. Only our lives depend on this.”

“Relax,” Lance said, “You’ll make the shot, just keep shooting until you do.”

Keith nodded, and Lance held out his hand, which Keith took without hesitation. 

Lance took a moment longer than they both probably needed. Before jumping off the rock. Feeling them freefall for almost too long before they were jerked upwards, with the sweet promise of not-so-instant death.

He felt air catch underneath the outstretched wings of the jetpack, and ignored how he was weighted one side more than the other and tried to counter balance that as much as he could. 

There were the sounds of the gun firing, and Keith swearing. “Keith,” Lance said, “Relax. Remember, take the shot and if you miss, use what you learnt from the last shot.”

Keith took a deep breath. Another thunk, before the roar of something. And heat dancing behind the pair of them, warming Lance’s back and pushing the two of them forward. So they were tumbling.

“Holy fuck!” He heard Keith yell while the world was spinning. Before the ground became very close. Too close for Keith to not get hurt if he was the first one to hit. 

With all the limited strength he had. He hugged Keith to his chest, and turned so his back was facing the ground.

Then everything hit at once. First the ground, sending all the air flying out of Lance. Then Keith, which sent all the air flying out of him in more than one way. Lance paused, waiting for the pain to erupt through him.

But nothing.

His jetpack was out then, so between them they had a chestplate, two gauntlets and two helmets. Right. Lance could work with that. Keith hadn’t moved. Which wasn’t that weird, but what was more weird was that Keith wasn’t yelling at him for putting himself between the ground and Keith.

That was weird.

“Keith?” He asked, and didn’t get an answer. 

That’s when Lance started freaking out for real, he pushed Keith off of him. Who hummed lazily, like he was in bed, and not currently freaking Lance the fuck out. What was wrong?

“Keith? Buddy, you good?”

“No,” Keith rasped, “Someone threw a sword.” His hands were clutching at his chest and Lance realised that this was why they had paladin armour. For things like this, so they didn’t get stabbed in the chest. “Fell out in the chaos, hurts like’a bitch.”

“You’re going Southern, stop that,” Lance said, his hands darting over Keith’s chest, trying to pry away the undersuit from Keith’s skin, and managed to rip it away.

It was a huge wound in the centre of his chest, it didn’t look like it punctured anything important, nothing that was going to kill him. Lance wasn’t a doctor, he wouldn’t have known even if it did hit something important.

“Oh fuck,” Lance said, “Okay, it’s going to be fine.”

It wasn’t going to be fine. This looked like a proper bad injury, ones that people died from on TV shows and in books.

“It’s not,” Keith sighed, looking up at the sky. “No one says it’ll be fine if it isn’t.”

* * *

  
  


“Where the quiznack do all of these ships come from?” Lotor yelled at Coran, manning one of the cannons as Coran controlled The Castle, dodging and weaving through battlecruisers after Allura.

“The space mall!” Coran yelled back again, and Lotor had no idea what that meant. But blowing up Galra ships was fun, so Lotor could focus on that while Coran controlled the ship.

It was like those games that his Dayak’s tried to teach him. Except deadlier and with better graphics.

Something slammed into The Castle and Coran was thrown to the side, sending The Castle tipping to the side, and Coran tumbling down the side of The Castle, leaving the controls free.

And they were drifting. Lotor looked up from the cannon and out the giant windows, they were going to drift into a moon at this point. Lasers and bright lights flashed outside. But they were going to hit into the moon—

Without hesitating Lotor threw himself at the controls, catching himself. “Lotor! Only Alteans can use the controls!” Coran yelled, struggling to stand up.

Lotor threw the controls to the side, in a way he’d just seen Coran do. Expecting nothing but a feeble effort and to become familiar with the surface of a moon.

Instead The Castle swerved to the side, and something sank in his gut.

* * *

“No, no,” Lance said, although his voice sounded a bit high, even for him. “It’ll be fine. Oh fuck, I have no medical training.”

“Stop the blood,” Keith said, and his words slurred together. That wasn’t good. That was not good. “Stop the blood, getta fabric or somethin’.”

“Stop going Southern!” Lance yelled, ripping the armour off his arm and ripping of a section of the undersuit, before ripping that down the middle to try and copy a towel. He pushed that to Keith’s chest, who winced at that. “Are you still Southern?”

“Why do’ya use my Southerness as a warnin’ sign’.”

“Because you do Southern when you’re in stress! Or when you don’t have the effort to try and not to be.” He ripped the armour off his other arm, ripping the sleeve and then down in the middle. Pushing that to Keith’s chest too.

“‘T’ll be fine,” Keith muttered, his hands also pressing down on the pieces of fabric. “Fine… huh. Fine. It’sa funny word.”

“It’s really not,” Lance said, holding his hands to Keith’s chest with more force, and he had a feeling that he wouldn’t be able to stop the blood. There was so much. And there was nothing that Lance would be able to do, tears sprung to his eyes. “I don’t think this one will be fine Keith.”

“Nah,” Keith’s eyes, which looked faded and cloudy, like he was seeing Lance but only just. “Watch some bullshi’ sa’e us, likea, magic.”

“Magic isn’t real, Keith.”

“Uhuh, that’s somethin’ a magician’d say.”

“Oh God,” Lance muttered, trying to put as much pressure on the wound as he could, as Keith babbled on about something, but Lance couldn’t hear Keith over his blood rushing around in his head. 

Was he going to lose Keith?

Was  _ this  _ going to be how he lost Keith?

On a mission that really didn’t matter? Him being the only one here. Keith’s eyes flickered closed and Lance reacted out of pure, unfiltered fear and slapped him. Keith sat up and looked at Lance, before laying back down.

“Rude,” he muttered, his blinks becoming longer and longer.

Blood was all over everything now, the ground, both of their armour. The both of them. It was all so red, and not the good type of red, not the lion red, or the paladin red. Dark red, the promise of death lingering in the air.

“Keith,” Lance said softly and Keith’s eyes flickered open for a second. He hummed. “I— I’m sorry.”

“Ha,” Keith laughed, and it was so unlike-Keith that Lance knew that unless someone showed up in the next few seconds, Keith probably wouldn’t make it out of this. “Don’t giveyaself a complex McClain, somethingsjus’ can’t be ‘elped.”

Lance barely knew what he was saying at this point. Keith’s eyes fluttered closed again, before opening again, smiling up at Lance. With what might’ve been a dopey smile if every surface that could be covered with blood could be.

Keith sighed.

And his eyes closed.

“No, no, no, absolutely not,” Lance started shaking him, Keith’s head rolling forward. His chest wasn’t moving. Everything set in too late. “No! This is not how this goes, Keith! Keith!” He slapped him across the face again and Keith didn’t stir to awakeness.

His chest didn’t start moving.

Lance shook him again, before staring at Keith. His eyes were closed, but his skin was so pale— so full of nothingness. He shook his head, tears dripping down before he could stop them. “Please, please,” he didn’t shake Keith anymore. Only hold his hand as tightly as he could. “Please. Keith Akira Kogane, get up or so help me—”

Nothing.

A sob escaped Lance’s throat, an animalistic sound. “I love you too much for you to die like this, you bitch!” He shook Keith again who just rolled forwards.

Then a light, a light started coming out of his own hands. “What the fuck?” Lance said, “What the fuck?” 

He hesitated. He probably should’ve been, considering his hands were a light purple colour, glowing brightly too, bright enough it hurt to look at. His closed his hands, then opened them again.

They were still purple and glowing.

Okay. This was not something he’d be able to work with.

He looked up, and around. Before looking at Keith moving lifelessly. The wound in his chest was glowing a faint purple too. Nothing about this was making sense. But nothing had really made sense since he found Blue.

Slowly, he put his hands on the wound.

And that made sense, because there was a flash of purple light and they were both surrounded by purple. 

In the weird dream-scape that Lance hadn’t been in since he was stuck on Dubux. The same light purple as the glowing.

What was happening to them?

Keith was glowing, and not the good type of glowing. Out of his eyes, and mouth, and out of the wound on his chest, and Lance had no clue what was happening. If this was good, or if he should’ve been sobbing.

Right now he settled for both, tears spilling as he kept his hands on Keith’s wound. Which was… getting smaller.

Instead of passing out, he kept his hands there. If he was going to Katara his way back to Keith being alive then… it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that had happened this entire time. Probably only just in the top five.

Then there was another flash of purple, and they were back on the rocky, nameless planet, where they were supposed to be collecting nature samples and instead… all this happened. 

Keith was still lying there, lifeless, but no longer with a huge hole in his chest. Lance stared for a moment longer.

Something which was somehow weirder happened. It felt like… putting half of the water in a water jug, into another jug. The feeling of something leaving him, but Lance had no idea what it was that was leaving him.

Only… something was leaving him.

Nothing.

Keith sat up, gasping, sounding like he was an old-man who had been smoking his entire life, rather than a teenager. He stared for a long moment, looking around, and his eyes landed on Lance.

“I’m tired,” Lance managed, everything was drained, his eyes closed on their own accord, before opening again. 

“Me too,” Keith yawned.

Lance blinked, but he didn’t open his eyes.

* * *

When he did open his eyes, he expected himself to be on the rocky, sandy planet, where he was pretty sure Keith had just died. Very sure.

Instead he was falling out of a pod. Being caught by Shiro and Coran, with worry on their faces. “My boy!” Coran exclaimed, “Lance! How are you—”

“Keith.” Lance said, and he was more than happy for that to be his first word. “Where’s Keith?”

“He’s been out for hours, he’s in his room—”

Lance pushed past Shiro and started walking down the hallway that he knew so well. 

Sliding open Keith’s door, to reveal, Keith, sitting on his bed, toying with the knife in his hands, his eyes infinitely tired. He looked up at Lance.

Lance looked at him. He took a deep breath, looking away from Lance.

“What the fuck happened?” Lance asked and Keith looked back down at his knife.

Refusing to meet Lance’s eyes he said, “I don’t know— I really— I don’t know. Everything was dark, then everything was purple.”

“My hands glowed!” Lance all but yelled, “I thought you died and then my hands started glowing and you started glowing, I put my hands on you and then the wound seemed to heal and now you’re alive!”

Keith nodded, humming, spinning his knife in his hand. “It has something to do with the dreams.”

“And the shared pain.”

“And the purple lights… I saw them when Lotor captured you and we went to his ship and also when— you and Hunk got lost in that Balmera.”

“And the lullabies,” Lance started pacing. “But what does any of it mean?”

“I don’t know,” Keith said, and his voice was so small that Lance believed him with everything he had. “I really don’t know. I’m so confused.”

Lance ran a hand down his face. “Don’t tell anyone.”

Keith nodded.

  
“This could be… so many things. We don’t tell anyone, until we know what’s happening. We stay quiet… so many things could be going wrong and we don’t want to stress out the team.”

“They wouldn’t believe us anyway,” Keith laughed, “Hey Pidge. So… magic is real.” 

Lance laughed, before sitting down next to Keith.

They both sat in silence, not sure what had happened and more importantly. Not sure where to go from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote that. I actually wrote that. One of the major plot points this series has been leading up to, anyway, thank you all for reading. Feel totally free to speculate on what exactly this whole bond thing is and when it started and how and why it started.
> 
> This chapter, is alright. I'm fairly proud of it. It's no masterpiece, but it does it's purpose.
> 
> See you in the next part!


End file.
